After overhearing a conversation between my brother and me, my 8 year old cousin asked me why I don't believe in God. The question caught me off guard because I wasn't expecting it from an 8 year old. I tried to be as simple and concise as I could, and I told her that I think God is imaginary and people only believe in it because it makes the world and their lives seem better, not because it's true. She didnt have any follow up questions, but she seemed pensive for a few minutes. Then, she went to her mother and told her what I said. Her mother then came to me a little pissed off that I'd told her daughter that. She's a strict christian and seemed to think that I was undermining her parenting. Did I do the right thing? What would you do in that situation?
2006-12-19 17:24:08 · 25 answers · asked by Subconsciousless 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'm on your side in this situation. If there was really only one GOD, then why are there so many different religions and beliefs...and gods (Budda for example). I'm not sure i would tell someone elses child what i believe, just because of the repercusions....like you experienced. But I admire that you stand up for what you believe and well your going to have to stand your ground sometimes from others because of it. I've told my kids what I believe, but I also told them they have to find there own beliefs. I don't like people shoving religion down my throat and I won't shove my beliefs down theirs. Be proud of who you are and what you believe and you should be OK. When someone comes to you "pissed" like the mother, just be honest with them as you were the child, if they don't like it, that's their problem....not yours. Just be careful in the future with children, people don't realize sometimes how much they can impact a child with thesee things. PEACE. I would like to add that My wife and I do not go to church , but my youngest daughter does and we encourage it.
2006-12-19 17:30:35 · answer #1 · answered by GUITARZAN30 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It would depend on who's kid it was on how in depth my answer would be....in your situation I would have given a similar answer: That I think religion is something people made up to answer the unanswerable questions of life. And probably leave it at that...the kid asked you a question, her mother shouldn't get mad at you for answering it, especially since you weren't trying to convert the child. Certainly her parenting includes that it's wrong to lie, so by answering with want the mom would want you to say you'd be lying and still be "undermining" her parenting. If you had said nothing, the kid would keep asking...that's what they do. Mommy can't shelter her baby forever, and part of growing up is learning that not all people view he world in the same way.
There is no perfect way to handle the situation...if you stay quiet the kid will be confused about why you won't/can't answer...if you answer the parent gets upset. As long as you feel you did the right thing then you did your best...just explain to the mother that you were just answering a question and didn't mean to cause distress to the family.
2006-12-20 01:38:58 · answer #2 · answered by laetusatheos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave her an honest answer and there's nothing wrong with that. Her mother should have already told her that not everyone believes in God and why. You're very considerate to even be concerned about having done the right thing in this case and I can see why it would have caught you off guard. From what you've said, you weren't trying to recruit the girl to your way of thinking, but simply answering her question. I think the mother was wrong for being pissed at you and actually should have thanked you for being honest. The situation should have opened a door for the opportunity for the mother to explain that there are many different beliefs in the world and it would be ultimately up to the girl herself to decide which she felt in her heart was right. I would like to add that I believe in God and find your explainaion as to why I do a bit shallow. I'm disappointed that you've apparently stereotyped believers that way. I am not a Catholic, Jew, or Muslim, but I enjoy reading books by them in order to gain insight into their beliefs which has given me the ability to respect and understand them. You may want to read books by believers to gain a more intelligent view as to why we believe the way we do. Hopefully you will move beyond the idea that we "only believe because it makes the world and our lives seem better." Actually, it has made the world seem worse. But I'm thankful to God that He has provided a remedy through His Son, Jesus Christ.
2006-12-20 02:01:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you did the right thing. You voiced your true opinion. I'd tell her that her child asked me what my opinion was, which should be fair enough in anyones book. If she remained angy I'd ask her why she was so angered by her child hearing a different opinion. Sounds to me that she felt threatened that you were subverting her child, which sounds crazy, but a fairly typical response when people know that their version of a story is actually pretty weak and vulnerable to falling over when superstition is exposed for what it is. Unfortunately children will believe everything equally, so bringing up alternatives at an impressionable age interferes with the indoctrination required for religious belief.
Religious preference is pure opinion, predominantly selected based on the beliefs of your heritage. Parents. Parents parents, etc. She got cranky because she felt it was interfering with a long unbroken line of self deception.
Personally my children will be taught about all religions, then they will make their own choices when they have the maturity decide what they believe is right. I don't think I have the right to brainwash minors. A balanced view is very difficult to present if you've been brought up with your own bias from a young age. It's not your cousins mothers fault that she reacted the way she did, it's just the way she was brought up. It's sad that your cousin will likely be deprived of choice of personal belief. You'll just have to forgive her mother.
2006-12-20 02:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by Fluffy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not something an 8 year old needs to deal with. Now, the cousin is probably worried sick over your soul. Children are not on the same level as an adult, they don't understand things at that level. You implied that God is not true and people only use Him as a crutch. First off, you can't know this. You'd be better off saying you don't believe in God because YOU don't know Him. That would be the truth without being hurtful to the child.
2006-12-20 01:35:07 · answer #5 · answered by JohnC 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You did good.
You know, alot of people are going to say "Go ask your mom and dad", but what's the point of that? They're already inculcated with their parents religion. If the kid asks you what you think, tell the kid the truth. Children are very smart, indeed.
I mean, imagine if the kid had walked up to you and asked "My mommy says that black people are bad. Why do you disagree?" Wouldn't you be proud to answer that kid, and hope to influence them as much as possible in as little time as you have?
I like your answer, by the way. It must have been tough to put it into words an 8 year old would easily grasp.
Seriously though, if someone was so insecure that open discussion of important issues with their kids was "undermining their parenting"- I would say "Good".
2006-12-20 01:45:24 · answer #6 · answered by B SIDE 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Did you do the right thing?
She asked you and answered your honest opinion. I see nothing wrong with that. If you were ridiculing her or her mother, that would be a different. Beside Christianity can hold it's own again some honest criticism.
If I was asked why I believe in God, what would I say? I am a Christian, I believe in God.
I believe because I have seen his work and intervention in my life.
2006-12-20 01:41:47 · answer #7 · answered by Janice M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people believe Russia has atomic weapons but hardly anyone has ever seen one. If you really want to know that badly you need to go and find out. The same is true about God - If you want to know the truth you have to search for it and it is not up to someone else to make up your mind for you. You were out of line telling the child your personal philosophy because it it merely your opinion but you passed it off as fact to an impressionable eight year old. The parents are responsible for directing and educating a child and it is them who have to bear the consequences. If the child believes you and says there is no reason not to steal since the Bible is false will you be there to pick up the pieces? If a religious zealot filled your child with their ideas how would you feel?
2006-12-20 01:36:03 · answer #8 · answered by Pilgrim 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
From a christian perspective, I don't think you did anything wrong. You may have given this young child something to think about. Just maybe a tad too early in life. My son's mother tells him that God is imaginary, and I tell him that I believe in Him, and it is his choice to believe. That doesn't make either of us wrong. If I was an unbeliever I would have probably said the same thing.
Now, the question lies... did that thing that you said to that child ruin their faith in God, and if you did, and you are wrong about God. Well then you have a bigger problem than you ever imagined.
2006-12-20 01:37:25 · answer #9 · answered by floyd 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do believe in God, so this is a hard one for me to answer in the negative.
I would have to tell the child that the reason I do believe is that there are too many wondrous miracles going on all around every day for there not to be a higher power behind it.
Even the moment of conception is such a remarkable thing that I can't write it all off to some random thing happening all on its own.
As for how you handled it, I think you were honest with the child, and I have to give you credit for that. I don't think you were undermining the parenting at all, and if the mother is strong in her faith, I am sure that she would be able to explain things to the child from her own point of view, in a way that would offset any damage that she feels your conversation may have caused.
I think it's important for children to learn that there are many different points of view in this world, and many different belief systems and faiths, but children learn by example, and her Mom simply has to set the example for her child.
2006-12-20 01:31:35 · answer #10 · answered by teffies_mom 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋