I have a problem...I just had a baby girl about a month ago, and my family is really attached to her. But my fiance wasn't there for her birth, and he is missing out on her growing up every day. Now here is the problem, He doesn't want to move back to where I'm living now because he doesn't want to be near my family 'cause of past issues..And I want to move back in with him but I don't want to take my daughter away from my family because I know that it'll hurt them (especially my mother). But Iove my fiance dearly, and I haven't seen him in 4 1/2 months and I want to be with him! I'm so confused right now..If you have any suggestions please help.
2006-12-19 16:36:29 · 15 answers · asked by Winni 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You're a big girl. You need to let go of momma's apron strings. If she was any kind of a mother, she'd be encouraging you in your independance.
If you decide to move back in with your fiance, you can still keep your family up to date on your daughter's development by email.
Your choice honey.
2006-12-19 16:41:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
If he is so stubborn/selfish that he missed the birth and the beginning of your baby's life just because he has "issues" with your family, do you think he will be a good dad? It sounds like you guys have issues of your own to work through first. Also, will he be able to provide the support that your family is giving?? Because if he's the one that can't stand them, then he needs to be the one to pick up the slack when you move and no longer have them around. Ask yourself if he would honestly do that. Also, decide what is right for your baby, because she is the most important person in this situation to think of. Perhaps you should ask a friend who is able to give an outside perspective but who knows all the details of the situation.
2006-12-20 00:42:58 · answer #2 · answered by Heather-Nicolle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your fiance wasn't there for the birth of your baby, then he shouldn't be your fiance. He chose of his own free will to not be with you during the most powerful moment in your life. If he were worth anything, he would have found a way to be there.
The whole point of getting engaged is to get married. The whole point of getting married is to support each other and raise a family together. If he is choosing to live apart from you and his own newborn baby, then there is no point in being engaged to him other than to be able to call him "my fiance" rather than "the guy I had a baby with." I realize that "fiance" sounds much more grown up and romantic, but it sounds like in reality... he is neither.
2006-12-20 01:03:24 · answer #3 · answered by 101pupil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish I knew why he wasn't there for the birth of your child. He sounds selfish to me. Whatever issues he and your parents had should not interfere with the fact that your parents are now grandparents, and happily so. You don't even know if things will work out forever with you and this man, and you only get one mom and dad. Appreciate them while you have them. Stay where you are, and good luck. And congratulations on your baby girl.
2006-12-20 07:07:32 · answer #4 · answered by bostonchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That shows you are very considerate . Ya, you love your man dearly but sorry to say that , if put any other guy in his position in the same story,the ending is the same: Your family especially your mom will still love and care for you and your baby right ? So think about it , ask yourself if you are in your mom's shoe !All the best .
2006-12-20 01:50:54 · answer #5 · answered by mamagorilla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The birth of your child may have been a blessing for you to see where you are at the moment, the man you have in mind to share your life with, and who were there with you in time when you needed someone.
2006-12-20 01:06:10 · answer #6 · answered by yummybubbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through a similar situation with my family.It was pure h--l for my mother because she had 5 grandkids and 1 great grand that she did not see for months.The best advice I can give you is to please make sure you tell your family what your intentions are.Please do not leave without telling them.Your daughter deserves her right to her family-ALL OF YOU.Keep that in mind.Good luck and GOD speed.
2006-12-20 00:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by inyrfcgul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where has he been for over 4 months?
Sounds like your family loves you and his baby more than he does. He shouldn't try and keep you from your family!
He's so wrong.
2006-12-20 00:41:43 · answer #8 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you and daddy can work it out then go back, your baby needs him in her life. You mom will adjust even if she hates the dad, you can always visit , you have your own family now.
2006-12-20 00:44:45 · answer #9 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance does'nt seem to concerned if he hasn't been around for 4 months. I'd stick with the people that care about you.
2006-12-20 00:41:23 · answer #10 · answered by xphxpd 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is up to HIM to maintain a relationship with his daughter! She doesn't go to him, he goes to her. That's great that you love him but why on earth hasn't he been with his child?!!
Just based on the info you provided he sounds very, very selfish. He seems to only be thinking about himself w/o any regard to you and your baby and being a parent means thinking of your child FIRST.
2006-12-20 01:12:46 · answer #11 · answered by mamabunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋