My family celbrates Christmas at my Grandmas EVERY YEAR....always have, well this year my grandma and my bf (boyfriend) and i have a little tiff. My boyfriend hasnt been working for a few months...while i have been working (he stays at home with the kids, like i did while he worked.) Granted the idea behind me working wastoo have two incomes but that didnt work out with the sacdules ad babysitting for the kids and such....well my grandma feels he should work a 3rd shift job at night, and i should work 1st or second shift. i wonder to myself how is suppost to sleep!? My grandma has decided that my BF cant come to the family christmas party christmas eve UNLESS he has a job by then. My question is should i go to the party alone with just my kids? My mom thinks i should let her take the kids to the party (in her words "at least let the kids go, they have nothing to do with this") I feel that OUR kids should spend the evening with us. what do you think?
2006-12-19 16:05:39 · 24 answers · asked by hotgurl1805 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He is the father of the children. I told my grandma and my mother that i wasnt coming if he couldnt...just wanted some support so i can stick with it wanted to make sure i wasnt too angery to think stright
2006-12-19 16:21:09 · update #1
sorry didnt think about putting kids ages 6 and 2 years
2006-12-19 16:30:44 · update #2
I think it is wrong your grandmother is trying to dictate your life like that. Unless you are constantly after her to give you money it shouldn't matter which one of you is the one who works. Your kids should spend xmas with you they are your family, I hate it when families come to this but, they need to accept you. Tell gma if he's not welcome neither are you or your children. I hope she changes her mind cause in the end it's the kids who will be most hurt by it all.
2006-12-19 16:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by lizincali 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let the kids go if you think they would enjoy it. You get them every other night of the year and it isnt like they are spending the night there. We always go to my grandmas house and my moms family hates my dad and finally said he couldnt come to Christmas Eve and my mom wouldnt go either, but I still went and took my younger brothers too, cause we still wanted to see all of our family and have fun.
If you think it will be negative for them then dont let them go. If you think the adults will be talking crap about your BF or anything like that I would have the kids stay home with you two.
You can ask the 6 year old what he wants to do also. Maybe he doesnt even want to go.
2006-12-19 21:17:11 · answer #2 · answered by dmercer12679 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would call grand ma and explain that bf is a good guy and you two made this decision to gether. then i would ask if bf can come to the party. if she said no i would say okay
Now comes the tricky part. there is no way i would let my kids go somewhere where someone in my family wasn't welcomed because they didn't have a job...i'm trusting that is the only reason. Then call your mom and tell her she is welcomed to come to your house to visit the kids but you and your bf and your kids are going to spend the hoilday togeather. and until grandma pays the bills she can keep her nose out of it.
2006-12-19 16:16:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the kids should be with their parents and tell Grandma is BF is not welcome, no one is coming (BTW - are you planning to get married, are the kids his, I assume yes since you said (OUR kids?).
But BF can get a job nights and take care of kdis during the day, he sleeps after you come home or while the kids nap. It can be done, trust me (been there, done that). He can also work PT during the week and on weekends.
You don't say their ages, but will the kids be disappointed? If so make other plans, even if only renting special movies and opening one gift on Christmas Eve so that they have fun.
2006-12-19 16:18:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to express to your grandma that if your boyfriend is not invited, you and the children will not be coming. If your boyfriend is taking care of the children and the house, he has a job - it doesn't pay money, but it is a job. You need to express the same information to your mother. Plan something special for your family to have a new tradition - starting this year.
Merry Christmas.
2006-12-19 16:12:44 · answer #5 · answered by m V 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, your grandmother is getting too involved in something that doesn't effect her directly. Christmas is supposed to be a time to enjoy your family, not a time to give ultimatums to family members who aren't living their lives the way you wish. I would stay home with my kids and boyfriend. Let her know that if all of you aren't welcome, then none of you are coming. I know your kids aren't involved in the whole thing and will miss spending time with your family, but that's something your grandmother could prevent. I've always thought family should be there for you no matter what. It also seems like a petty reason for her to be mad. Good daycare is impossible to find, and if your situation is working for you, it should work for her.
2006-12-19 16:20:47 · answer #6 · answered by kgal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This problem is way deeper than your boyfriend's job status, and Christmas Eve isn't the time to hash it out. Stay home with your kids, enjoy your time as a family, and make a New Year's resolution to stop listening to the opinions of others.
2006-12-19 16:17:50 · answer #7 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're totally right, your grandma needs to get with the times, and you don't want someone that judgemental and narrow-minded influencing your kids when you aren't there. Have a wonderful special christmas eve at home, stand by your bf, caring for the kids is a hard job. Good luck, hope your grandma comes around.
2006-12-19 16:11:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you should take the boyfriend to the party and act as if nothing has happened. make sure you only go in one car. If she asks you to leave, nicely, let her all know you all are going then. You should do this most especially if the kids are his. If the topic of his employment comes up you should politely let her know it is no longer her business it is between you and your boyfriend. Let her know you love her, but that you (boyfriend, kids and yourself) are a family and you should suggest a different topic of conversation.
2006-12-19 16:19:51 · answer #9 · answered by higg1966 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong with spending christmas eve with your own children- just don't make a big deal about the fact that you were fighting with your family about where they should go.
My parents always took us to look at christmas lights on christmas eve after my dad's aunt decided that my mom wasn't allowed to spend christmas eve in her house. We never really noticed the tension because we were so excited to go see the lights- quality family time too, just a suggestion
2006-12-19 16:13:31 · answer #10 · answered by srich321 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋