My boyfriend is taking care of a baby thatnot his from a previous relationship. Matters worse is were having finical problems and i just foud out im pregnant. Is it wrong for me to not want him to take care of someone else child. Should I sucpect him of cheating
2006-12-19 16:04:46 · 24 answers · asked by sassy22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Naw! He probably fell in love with that other baby..that's a good thing. At least you know he is capable of loving children. Trust me...once his baby is born he will stop spending so much time with the first one. Not because he will stop loving it, but because the new baby will be very demanding of both of your time.
I really hope you are not jealous of the other baby! Cuz you don't just stop loving one child when another one is born...think about it.
2006-12-19 16:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by Adrienne C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, I want you to think upon this: what kind of man would your boyfriend be if he walked out on a relationship with a woman and wanted nothing more to do with an innocent child that he once loved as his own? You cannot / should not shut off your feelings of love and obligation to other human beings. If you can turn your feelings off and on that easily, then you are not really such a great person, are you? Yes, things happen between adults--horrible things that make them want to walk away from each other. Fine. But, what about the children? No. They are innocent--- they love unconditionally. Why would you expect or even WANT him to walk away from a child? His or not his (biologically) does not determine the depth of his devotion to the child, and I find that quite admirable in him. You should respect his decision.
Second: If you are having financial difficulties, then your boyfriend needs to do his part--he needs to spend a little less time babysitting and more time trying to get a part-time job. This means, of course, you will see a lot less of him. He created a life, and he needs to take responsibility for that life. You, too, are not incapable of helping out. Perhaps you could even offer to take care of the baby, when he is working his job?? That would show how mature you are, and make him more willing to give you the world.
Third: He will love his new child. I am willing to bet he will do everything he can for it. But, if you keep being resentful and suspicious, he just might walk away from you----
Finally: Insist that he take care of the child in your home---If he is in his ex's home, then, no matter how commmitted to you he seems, the temptation to relapse with the ex is going to be there. I think you have the right to make such a demand. But, be willing to have the baby at the house, even if it cramps your style, or he will stop bringing it home--- The key to keeping your man honest is this: make home the one and only place he wants to be, when he isn't there.
2006-12-20 00:21:08 · answer #2 · answered by mad_madison_maiden_x 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is something that you should have questioned long ago, if he is taking care of someone elses child! And far as taking care of you that is well I hate to say is also a very real up in the air too!
He will not be able to take care of both you and the other child and having money problems as well somebody is going to go lacking her in this department.
As far as thinking that he is cheating well like I said that is a question that you should have thought about or paid attention to he is willing to take care of another child and I know that you had to think that it might be his since he is taking this kind of attention on it in the first place?
And did he think of you and your child lately since he had revealed what he is planning to do with the other child?
Well there are the answers to maybe some of the questions that might be going through your mind.
But I would seriously think about sitting down and talking with him about this because some attention has to be paid, and the longer you wait on this the longer the question will be hard for you to ask become.
Talk to him and found out what his head is okay!
and Good Luck!
2006-12-20 00:20:45 · answer #3 · answered by beagirl40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he's just taking care of the baby its not cheating. If he's taking care of the mom too well then that is cheating. Ask him why he feels he needs to take care of this baby if its not his. Who knows maybe it is his he just hasnt told you. How long was he with this girl and for how long did he know the baby. I know in some situations when you're with a person who has kids and you had some kind of relationship with the children you are emotionally attached. It happened to me a while back. Even after i broke wih that person i still missed the kids. Its been 3 years and eventhough i dont see them much i still send bday and xmas gifts.
Its not wrong of you to not want him to take care of someone elses baby if it were his that a different story. Take care...
2006-12-20 00:14:19 · answer #4 · answered by LD82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that is something you and him need to sit down and talk about. If him dealing with this other woman and her child is bothering you, you need to let him know. Its not wrong for you to want him all to yourself but you have to look at things from bother prospectives. If he was doing for this woman and her child before you came into his life then it may not be you place to tell him to stop doing so. I do see the problem with you being pregnant now and that is taking away money from you so that has to be something you all have to discuss and come up with an understanding. As far as cheating, we always know deep down within the truth about that...if you are having doubts ask him, he may lie but what do you have to lose. I wish you the best Sweetie...
2006-12-20 00:14:50 · answer #5 · answered by Domo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i dont noe if am saying the right thing but Y would a GUY want 2 take care of a child thats not hes supposely r u sure that hes being honest with you n its not hes child n beside that ur pregnant and u should tell hem that thats really important i dont think he might want 2 take care of 2 childs of the same time grl if i was u ill tell hem something if ur gona move in with hem cause i wouldnt like my husband 2 be taking care of ONOTHER CHILD dats NOT hes n y would he do it think of that . well do what ur heart says am jzt telling u k
gud luck
2006-12-20 00:14:28 · answer #6 · answered by 9U3R@ bBY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dam boo. I'm sorry to say yes he is absolutely cheating on you. Me and my man discussed it before i answerd and we both agree that he should not be taking care of his ex-girlfriends baby, which isn't even his child. That is just crazy. Life is too short sweety. Get what you want don't wait for it to be given to you. You know what i mean right?
This is his ex-girl who hes had sex with right? Ok so do you really think they aren't still having sex when hes there? Like i said me and my man both think very strongly that he is cheating on you. I hope you realize soon, what you are worth!
2006-12-20 00:10:01 · answer #7 · answered by Thebronx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he probably has just come to accept the child as his own and wants to support him, You should talk to him and let him know that you dont mind him having the child in ghis life but maybe he should slack up a little on the finanical side until things become a little more stable for you now that you are having a child of your own.
2006-12-20 00:09:00 · answer #8 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. I don't think you should suspect that because I am still taking care of my baby-momma's child that is not mine but I raised since she was only weeks. And we are not currently together. I think you should be proud that he has the potential to be there for not only his child but also ant child he seems to care for. Don't run homeboy off. You got a good dude.
2006-12-20 00:12:55 · answer #9 · answered by Da Kid 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are 22 years old, you need to get on birth control and go back to school, your grammar is horrible.
As for the baby, leave him alone, you aren't married. You really have no say in what he does. Most guys would abandon their own child in his situation, you are lucky to have a caring guy. Stop being so selfish.
2006-12-20 00:08:46 · answer #10 · answered by don_juan_darko 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋