I have 2 daughters and I can't seem but to think that one just isn't getting the right positive attention?

Question

I'm 19 with 2 daughters (1and2) I feel as if I don't get the 1 year old enough positive attention. I don't even know what she should be learning and I can't seem to understand the kinds of games or "mommy time" I should give her. I guess I just need some advice on games and bonding ideas. I want her to know that I love her just as much as I love her sister.

Answer 1

There really is no right or wrong answer to this question because you will always feel you have slighted one or the other. What matters is how the kids feel about you and each other. My girls are a year and a half apart. One of my favorite memories when they were 2 & 3 was one morning when I overheard the older one teaching the younger one.

I heard: "Say: "Wha"... "wha", "Srong" ..."srong", "Whasrong".
They love "their chother" and will love you, and you will love them equally. I agree with reading to them. My granddaughters are 4 years apart and the little one will watch to see how the older one does something, like how she sits when I read to them, and mimic her.

Don't worry that you don't give them equal time, just make sure to give them your time and attention. You may have seen the bumper sticker that says, "Grandchildren are so much fun I wish I'd had them first." Well I understand now what that means.

It really has nothing to do with the children, it's how you enjoy them. Parents are so afraid they will make a mistake that they ride their kids and criticize so much of what they do. They can't seem to relax and play like the grandparents can. Of course they need correction when something might be dangerous, but just have fun with them and don't squash their joy when they are just playing and not hurting anyone. If they get obnoxious as kids tend to do, let them go outside or, if you can't, then give them something special to play with and take a few minutes for yourself. But give them your time and don't forget what it was like to be a child. Get down on the floor and play with them because you won't always be able to (believe me!) and all too soon, they won't want to anymore. Let them, rather, encourage them to be children as long as you can. Don't try to make them grow up too soon and, for goodness sake, don't call them "young adults" when they are only 10 or 11. Let them play with their dolls and don't tell them they are too old.

The world is trying to make our kids feel stupid for wanting to be kids. Just let them play and help them hang onto their childhood as long as you can. They will thank you for it when they finally do have to be adults. We have precious few years to be goofy and just have fun before we have to face adulthood. Don't just encourage them, join them. Your girls are your chance to revive the child in you. Feel their joy and their love and you will know you are doing just fine.

Answer 2

Just be patient and teach her the songs you know how to sing, and the patty cake games you know..

.Also read to her and point out different colors and objects in you home, and take her for walks and point out different objects as you go along.

Talk to her as you do daily chores so she becomes familiar with what she will need to do when she gets older... like when you dress, bathe, or feed her, go over the words of the items in use for the task at hand. Start to give her things to do so she can learn to help herself.

I am sure if you have an older daughter, that you are doing all right as a Mommy. You may just be feeling overwhelmed right now with 2 little ones under your feet. Don't worry so much, I am sure you are doing great! And in due time your children will know and understand that.
;- )

Answer 3

Turn bath time and feeding time into bonding time. use that time to sing song or just talk to her. Let her know that you love her and that she is very precious to you. Try to individualize your attention for some of the day. When one of the baby is sleeping use that time to bond with the other kid. Simply reading a book or singing nursery rhyme. If you have help with the kids then sometime take one out while one stays with the sitter. But this is important try to spend about the same amount time with each kid and never let them feel that they less important. I know this can be tough because you have other responsibility. Also having them this close would also give them the chance to bond with each other. the most you can do at this time is to try your best and please don't have another kid in a hurry

Answer 4

I think every parent of multiple children worries about this. I know I do.

But my mom, who had four of us, told me something that really made me feel better: Even though *I* might not be giving my younger children the same kind of unadulterated, focused attention I was able to lavish on my oldest child, the younger ones ARE getting attention--from their siblings!

And it's true. My younger daughter love me and seems totally well-adjusted, but she lights up around her big sister and follows her around like a puppy. And my older daughter loves to help take care of her, and to have someone to teach and boss around and all that.

Positive attention is positive attention. Find a minute or two every day to give your youngest a special cuddle, or to read a story, or to applaud for a new trick. Give your oldest lots of praise for being kind to your youngest. And don't sweat it. We all do the very best we can.

Answer 5

Parenting typically utilizes rewards, praise and discipline (or punishment) as tools of behavioral control. In some jurisdictions physical punishment (eg., spanking) is prohibited by law and a number of parents have adopted non-physical approaches to child discipline. Most experts now agree that physical punishment is not an effective behaviour modification tool. The term "child training" implies a specific type of parenting that focuses on holistic understanding of the child. The "Taking Children Seriously" philosophy sees both praise and punishment as manipulative and harmful to children and advocates other methods to reach agreement with them. The term "attachment parenting" seeks to create strong emotional bonds and avoid physical punishment, with discipline being accommodated by interactions recognizing a child's emotional needs.

Discipline:
Time-out
Spanking
Taking Children Seriously (TCS) philosophy
Parental supervision
Parenting fundamentals:
Structure
Accountability
Consistency
Motivation

Answer 6

You have a hard job (c: Try holding your one year old while she sleeps at night, ...there are no other demands on your time at this part of the day....and "feel" the warmth and love you have for her, let the feeling grow as you hold her and cry if it feels right.

She will learn the same way your 2 year old does. They like to immitate other children. Remember also correct her behavior with kindness and patience. Children are vulnerable to anger of parents.

Answer 7

Take the time your using on here to maybe create something you think is positive for the 1 year old. look at maybe a website for growth and development or just fun stuff for toddlers. Also, look at websites dedicated for Piaget or Errickson to learn what children need to learn ar different steps through life.

Answer 8

You said you already have a 2 year old. What was she learning and what games were you playing with her when she was 1?

Answer 9

Every kid is different, some need more attention than others. I would tell them both how much you love them and how proud you are of them. All kids need to feel loved, and if you tell them that with a big hug and a kiss, believe me...she'll get the message.

Answer 10

I would suggest finding a fun game that you can play with BOTH of the children. Maybe a puzzle or a board game for starters? Use your imagination and go wild!