Don't you hate it when you go into a store and see a women with her child who seems like an unfit mother?

Question

I was in the store today and saw some woman yelling at her young daughter who must have been under 4 years old and she was hitting her (not hard) but it just broke my heart. I usually see this happen with girls who are younger because they just don't know how to control there anger or be patient with their children. Now I am not saying that all young mothers act this way I am just saying in general that is who I usually see. But don't you just hate seeing this?

My whole thing is when I do become a parent I do not believe in hitting a child at all under any circumstances. I do not think it is right for a parent to hit there child even if the child did run off. Is there anyone else who feels that a parent should never hit a child?

Answer 1

Yes, that was my mom with me when I was young. So hopefully all of these girls will learn as I did, and be better when they grow up with their children- I have a 14 month old son, and always always try to make him happy, I don't yell, and would never hit. (I'm 24, kind of young, but have learned from my mom's mistakes). I would be not only hurt my mom did that in a store, but embarassed as well infront of other people. I rarely was bad, was always afraid to get spanked or slapped across the face, but sometimes my younger brother would try to get me into trouble for some reason.

So yes, it is very sad, and it breaks my heart all over again when I see this as well.

LOL to those who say "when you have your kids, you'll understand" that sounds a lot like my mom- she ALWAYS told me, "When you have kids of your own, you'll get your payback." WHAT????!!! That is soooo wrong! Having a child is such a blessing, that's why I want more! Seeing my son - one of the happiest babies I've seen, makes me feel like a proud parent, and you know what? My son is NOT a payback, yes I understand kids misbehave sometimes.... my son tests me as well and he's 14 months- but I have a different outlook on this- he is LEARNING. So when I say No no, and he wants to touch something, it's because he is so curious at what it is that he shouldn't be touching... so I understand why he wants to do it, and I use repitition with the no no, and also say that's hot, or that will hurt you, things like that to help him understand why he shouldn't do something besides telling him no no all the time. I'm sorry, but the having your own kids, you'll understand gives you no reason to hurt your child. Maybe my mom was abusive- mentally and physically... but deep down, it still gets to me this day, and I don't want to lay a hand on my son and know for the rest of his life he will remember that and in a way resent me. I want to be the one to teach him why he shouldn't be doing something.

Answer 2

I put this on my watch list last night so I could get back to it today. I agree with you to an extent. I don't like how you put in the "unfit" mother. I just can't imagine all the things I might do that some person who sees me in a store to deem me as "unfit."

I’ve read other answers and I’m astounded by a few that say “you don’t know what she did to deserve that.” It’s shocking to me because honestly what does a child under four years old do that is serious enough to be hit, yelled at, and humiliated in public?

I’m not pro-spanking. I’m not anti-spanking. I don’t spank my own children but I can see why someone could feel that was their only option. The thing that gets me about women who do this in public is just that--it’s public! There’s a certain image that I try to uphold for myself and my children when we’re out and about. If a child sees their parents throwing a fit--which is what happens normally in stores when parents hit their children--what kind of a guide is that?

There are several things this woman could have done with her child to show that the behavior she (the little girl) was displaying was wrong. For example; if she does use spanking as punishment--I always like the options idea. “Do you want to straighten up or would you like to get a spanking when we go home?” Nine times out of ten the child will behave. It gives kids the option to behave.

Another thing she could have done is just leave the store. Kids misbehave because in most circumstances it’s “normal” at home. If kids are allowed to misbehave at home--they are going to misbehave in public. I feel that is one of the major reasons kids do misbehave as well as not learning at a very young age (even as babies) how to act.

Another point I would like to make--spanking is something that should be done out of love. This is not just something where you start hitting someone in a store because they did something wrong. Kids need to know what is going on and why they are being spanked. If she was old enough to walk and talk then she’s old enough to comprehend right from wrong.

I do hate seeing this. It’s just a matter of parents not taking their precious time to really plan out how they would like to parent. I feel if parents really thought about what they were doing then situations like this would not occur.

Answer 3

A week ago, my fiance and I were at Panda Express Chinese and leaving to go out the door.

This little girl, about age 4 was crying histerically. She wanted a drink and her mom was just mad about it for some reason that I don't know.

She slap her daughter, flat handed in the face on the nose/eyes region. The girl SCREAMED louder, as I would too.

The mother PULLED her daughter's hair, making her chin be even with the roof of the building and yelling at her telling her to shut up and knock it off.

The mother walked passed me, gave me a look and said "Do you have a problem???" and I said "yes, I do!". She kept walking to the soda fountain.

The little girl calm down a little once she got a drink and I left. I was so tempted to call the cops. But knowing them, they would of came out and the people would of already left and nothing would of come of it. Sadly, CPS and sherrifs don't take care of issue's as they should.

I regret not beating her down and making a scene. I would of lost my job though most likely due to violance I would of made. The little girl looked me in the eye and I can see this was a everyday event....

I hate seeing this and it happens so often as being an assistant teacher going into full time positions in daycares/school system.

I am also going to be a non-spanking/hitting parent.

Answer 4

Your husband sounds like the type of man that has tuned out to this particular intrusion into your security of your relationship with him. Fighting about it won't change him and it only intensifies your anger and frustration. He does not understand that when he is staring at other women, he is telling you that you are not enough. And, that makes for less excitement in the bedroom. Try talking, not fighting or yelling or accusing, with him over a relaxed, intimate dinner at home. Let him know how you feel in a loving way. You might start the conversation out with how much you admire and respect him and feel that he does the same for you and is there anything that you do that disturbs him. Be open. There could be an underlying reason why he looks at other women. Intimate talk and understanding is what you both need right now; not fighting.

Answer 5

I have a 2 year old and was only 17 when I had him and have never hit him...

I hate when I am in the store and see people hitting there kid, I just want to go over and slap the parent and ask how it feels.

It takes a cold hearted person to put there hands on someone way smaller then them who can not fight back.

Answer 6

Seems like everyone is on agreement as to yes they don't like it but we don't know the whole picture.
Does the parent only spank in public or is it something else? The child may have ran off did something harmful to itself or that could cause damage. While some people would never yell at there child others see that as a way of getting there attention. To let them know they mean business. sorta like counting to three to get your child to mind. also i use to point fingers a lot more until i was a parent and then sometimes when you see a parent and a child in the store i want to hug the parent and say been there done that and yes you will survive it. walk a mile in these parents shoes and at the end of the mile you may be yelling and a smacking too.
however, there is a difference between a spanking and abuse. If you see abuse then report it asap.

Answer 7

There was probably a good reason that it happened. I have found that many parents now a days have no idea how to control their children. Many times, there is very fews ways to dicipline children that is always effective. I have also seen that when the children are not around the parents as much as they need to be, due to both parents working all the time, the children tend to respect their babysitters more because they have more time with them.

Yes, it is not appropiate to hit your kids in public, but I do believe that SOMETIMES a spanking is appropriate in the privacy of your home. And I am sure that the parent was terribly embarrased not only for her unruley child's behavior, but that she had to resort to spanking her child in public because she could not control her.

What is TRUELY terrible to see is someone being so judgement toward someone that you don't even know or understand what the child did to deserve that. Sure your heart breaks for them from 10 feet away, but if you were in that situation I am positive that your feelings would be drastically different.

Answer 8

Yes i don,t like it either,but they might not be bad mothers just stressed....Children have a way of really acting up in public,and the mothers start out being nice and then the child gets on their last nerve.....But it always goes through my mind that the child might be mistreaten....sometimes they appear to be unfit mothers.....But you did say they hit the child but not hard,maybe a warning to see if they could control the child and get them to settles down...I think if a child is really mistreated they will be afraid to much to act up.....I may just be telling myself that to feel better ,but it seems reasonable.....

Answer 9

People believe in a good ole fashion whipping. I was whipped when i was a kid. I don't hate either one of my parents for it. It did make me mind them on whatever it was that i was misbehaving about.
I have seen some mothers out telling their kids in a loud voice to be quiet or they are going to get a whipping and that does not bother me. But however i did see a man at the hospital hit his son and then drag him through a door and that ran all over me. It made me want to cuss him out and hold the kid that was crying (looked like he was 4) but my husband said now stay out of it. But yes it bothers me to see things like that.

Answer 10

I've found it's very easy--TOO easy--to make a whole lot of "I'll never..." statements before you have kids. I did it myself: "I'll never let my kids have donuts for breakfast." "I'll never allow an infant to sleep in bed with me." "I'll never let my toddlers watch television." Yeah, right.

Although I also don't like to see parents hitting their children and (thus far) I've never hit my own kids, I think it's a bit unfair to view one incident and write off a woman as an unfit mother. I know it's a total cliche to say "When you have kids of your own, you'll understand," but.... when you have kids of your own, you'll understand.