Do we all stay the same from High School to parenting?

Question

I’ve read quite a few of Rosalind Wisman’s books. She is the author of the books “Queen Bees and Wannabees” (this book was the basis of the movie “Mean Girls” starring Lindsay Lohan) and “Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads”

Anyway both of these books touch base with the “mean girls” both in the world of parenting and high school. I soon started wondering while reading the book--do we ever change? Do we change our personalities from high school? In the adult world I still see the prom queen, the girl that never fit in, the shy guy, the druggie, and all those other stereotypes.

I guess the question I’m asking is; do you feel you’ve changed throughout the years? Do you think other people you know have changed? Or do you think even as a adolescent we are set in our ways and determined to fit that stereotype our entire lives?

I'm not saying that I think we all remain the exact same. I know I haven't but I'm saying do you think the people with the same opinions--the same cliques, remain with some of the same personality traits they had back then?

The reason why I'm asking is based on the book. It truly does make me wonder.

thevonban. That's the point I was trying to make. Maybe I should rephrase my question.

Answer 1

I think the same groups exist, but it's a mindset. If you are used to being a queen bee, you expect it in every situation. Look closer though, and those seeming outcasts are now much happier. In my case, the popular mean kids grew up to be popular mean adults, but unsuccessful and jealous of those of us that did not just wait for the world to genuflect to us. The rest of us got educations, good jobs and nice families. We largely left our high school roots in high school and made new friends. We are unpopular in that circle, but none of us care.

Answer 2

I can tell you from experience that staying in school will be one of the best decesions you'll ever make. I started working when I was 16 (yeah! my own money). I soon let work get in the way of going to school. One day I showed up and one of my teachers saw me in the hallway and told me I had been withdrawn. I should have graduated in 1995. I was married by the time I was 18(btw still am to same guy 12yrs). It took me until about 2001 to get enough guts to get my GED. I was taking college prep courses in high school so after I took the pre-test they told me I shouldn't have to take any classes just to come back and take the test for my GED. I did and I scored in the top 5 out of 183 people who were taking classes/the test when I was. This was great but made me wonder what could have been had I just applied myself more in school. An education is so important today. You can't really even get a god paying job w/out a highschool diploma. Sure, a GED is an equivalent, but you'll have so much more confidence to write high school diploma on resumes or what not instead of GED. Did you know you can't even join the military w/out a high school diploma unless you have so many college credits? The army is an exception, but the air force does NOT take GEDs. I really hope you stay in school it's what's best for your present and your future. It'll be something to be proud of, and maybe, in the long run the boredom will have been worth it. Maybe you just need to be challenged more-like take some harder classes. Good luck!

Answer 3

I think people change because sometimes, the prom queen turns into the druggie or the geek turns into the popular guy.

Plus, when you have a child your entire life changes.

I'm only 18 and I don't know what it's like to be a parent nor do I know what will happen to me in the future but I was always a shy kid. However, now that I'm basically a senior I have definitely come out of my shell and turned into a popular girl.

Answer 4

Some may CHOOSE to live in the past, constantly craving the things that they had and were ... but in reality -- life has definitely PASSED Them by and OVER them ...

Others, well, as we enter that stage of Great Responsibility (starting our own families) .. we grow, we change, we accept more than we would, we learn and earn, and help others more than we ever thought we could. We take on RESPONSIBILITY because we know that it is the ADULT Thing, and we do NOT expect others to bow down to us or give us things.

We then continue as our children come along and grow, because we want MORE for our children, and lead through example to help them make the better life choice ...

So no, there is no way that I am that same geek I was in High School -- I worked very hard to learn, earn, and pay my way through life, raised my children (both were disabled) without having to ask for anything .. and yes, I did it all MY SELF ...

Once I entered that adult world I left the immaturity of High School behind (because I HAD to -- for my siblings and I buried our parents at that early adult age) ... and made my choice to gain my EDUCATION, have a Career, and work hard all my life.

Answer 5

What a great question! When people leave H.S., they have had other people pretty much plan their lives up till then; parents, teachers, coaches, etc. After H.S. is the time when people really begin to find out who they are without as many controls imposed upon them by others. But, people are basically animals, and are programmed from a young age. Are girls naturally more shy? Or is this a result of learning to be "good little girls" and not as aggressive as boys? People who are successful in grade school develop confidence, and people skills, and it is easier for them to continue being successful than it might be for a dweeb who never got the socialization skills mastered. You know too about all the studies that show children who have been abused eventually become abusive parents. Women who marry abusive men continue to marry them. BUT, these are generalities and are not applicable to specific human beings. People can re-write their own life scripts. It takes hard work and thoughtfulness and self-awareness and a desire to change destructive behaviors. We are such creatures of habit. It is so much easier just to keep doing what we know, even though it may not be the best for ourselves. So yes, I know I've changed, and continue working on myself and who I want to be. Have I changed enough? No. But, as Cat Stevens said, "there's so much left to know and I'm on the road to find out." Wishing you a happy journey,

Answer 6

From what I read, and from experience...You change a lot.

Between the ages 18 and 25 is when most the changes happen. (Usually it's for the better, more mature and responsible, but some people just don't turn out that way =P ) I've changed a lot since I got out of High School and it has only been a bit over a year.

Answer 7

No I believe people change. Not everyone there are still people who act just like they did back in high school. I know I've changed quite a bit. The biggest change in my life was having my daughter, I have personally changed alot since she came into my life. I know it'll be interesting at our 10 year class reunion to see everyone and how things have changed. I did that notice that after high school if I saw people that I graduated with that never talked to me back then, they would talk to me now. Life is all about change though, and as the old saying goes, "**** happens".

Answer 8

It's impossible NOT to change.

I'm 23 years old, and I can say that every single person changes in amazing ways between the ages of 13 and 30. Why? When you were 15, were you the same person you were when you were 12? Of course not!

We're always changing, always learning. We're learning about the nature of those around us, who we are, among other things.

When I was in high school, I was shy. I never spoke up in class. I kept my opinions to myself. I was timid around the boys, though I wanted a boyfriend.

Guess what? Now I'm outspoken, opinionated, and I'm married. I learned from college, and I learned from those around to become who we are now.

The beauty of things is that I know that at 30 I'm not going to be the same person either!

Answer 9

I was one who noone would talk to in school, I had no friends. I was passive, quiet shy and everything else along those lines. I have been spit on, had spitballs in my hair, been locked in a bathroom out by the football field and left, you name it. I did nothing and said nothing. I have 6 kids kids now and I'm only 28 yrs. old. I have been so much now and have gained strength. So I won't put up with anyone's dirty looks and comments. I tend to run at the mouth. I have gotten alot of people judging me and with that I don't think most people change because they are still picking on people. I think the "so-called" weak ones only get stronger.

Answer 10

Yes I know we do change...I know I did....the big change from HS to in 20's...so yes we do - we keep changing the older we get....and I do believe those closest to us can see the changes...you mature and get wiser as you get older!

I do believe, however, in childhood and adolscence that we are formed to start moving into a direction that was helped by our parents, living situation, trials, good times....we all come from our beginnings - but we can learn and grow and change that when we get older - and change the ending. : )