ok so here's the deal. She came to stay with me while my husband is in iraq because i found out i was pregnant a week before he left and would eventually need help with my 10 month old twins. she's 19. she came and everything was good for a week or so, she said she'd get a job to help out with groceries and all that. well it's been a month and she hasn't even looked for jobs. she argues that she applied for some online but no one has called her back. i tell her to take the bus and go look for one on foot, get a newspaper, DO SOMETHING! she said I should stop pressuring her and that i don't know anything about getting a job because im just a housewife. (ignoring the fact that i've had many jobs in the past, i was even in the army for a couple years.) she won't clean up after herself at all. she doesn't get up till after 12pm. tonight i snapped and told her she had two weeks to get out. my question is, did i do the right thing?
2006-12-19 13:45:15 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you have to do what is in the best intrest of yourself anf your children, she will eventually grow up and get over it.
2006-12-19 13:48:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know your sister, we don't...
Maybe she just didn't want to jump
into adult responsibility
the way you have. It's hard for some,
even at 19. You have a husband,
she has only you, she thought.
Sleeping till noon can be a sign of
severe depression.
Maybe there was more going on than you know.
She's just a kid, instead of pushing her out,
you could push her in the direction of the
unemployment office, at least. She's family.
Talk to her and try to find out where her head is
really at, without fighting. It can't hurt.
Maybe you did the right thing,
just not in the right way. It never feels good to
make a decision when your angry. Try again.
2006-12-19 22:07:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, my heart and prayers go out to your husband. Yes, you done the right thing. It sounds like she was there for ride, instead of saying hey sis, what do I need to do and us together. If she really wanted to get a job, she would have gotten up out of bed and went to look for one. I just hope everything works out, it sounds like you have your hands full. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
2006-12-19 23:17:08 · answer #3 · answered by grandmaof6 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I cast my vote for YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. She is lazy and is taking advantage of a free ride at your expense. She will never stop until she is made to stop. I have seen this type of behavior many many times. If she gets a real job, then and ONLY then can you let her move back in with you if you still think she will be more help than burden. At your point in life, you don't need another full grown hungry lazy mouth to feed.
Good luck and stick to your guns.
2006-12-19 21:52:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jon 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Yes, you did the right thing! I know you're a little frightened about taking care of three babies, but three babies are easier to take care of than four! Your sister is still immature, and since she won't support herself, she certainly won't help you with your babies. You will be all right. I have a friend who had three girls in one year, one singleton and then twins, and seeing those beautiful babies smile and wiggle and play made it all worthwhile for her.
By the way, thank you so much for your service to our country. I appreciate everything you and your husband are doing for us. God bless you.
2006-12-19 21:50:54 · answer #5 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I believe many decisions made in anger and frustration are incorrect and don't usually turn out the way we want them. But nobody feels good about being taken advantage of regardless of whether they are a relative or not. She's taking advantage of you, in my opinion, plain and simple.
Maybe you could say, you know, I got a little frustrated, let's have a talk.
2006-12-19 21:53:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yep, you sure did. She's 19, and that's what they do, but she needed an ultimatim. Now, when the two weeks are up you need to stand your ground or she'll know you're bluffing and walk all over you. That's what she does to mom, and she can because mom let's her get away with it.
2006-12-19 21:50:03 · answer #7 · answered by Jim C 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She won't get a job if you don't hound her .She has no intentions.I honestly think that you need to give the girl a chance to prove something to you. Maybe you can take her around to fill out applications . I kinda think you gave up on her to easily......she may be somewhat depressed.
2006-12-19 21:51:26 · answer #8 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
absolutely the right thing. you needed help with your children, not another child. You can only try to help those that try to help themselves. If she doesn't want to try, then giving her the boot was exactly the right thing.
2006-12-19 22:14:57 · answer #9 · answered by dana j 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her, if you don't say anything then she'll just keep doing whatever it is that she's doing. I think you could have put it in a better way then that, remember she is still your sister.
2006-12-19 22:05:23 · answer #10 · answered by This is just my opinion! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋