What does the pastor ask the engaged couple in premarriage counseling?

Question

Additionally/specifically did the pastor ask you "have you ever had a huge fight?"

Answer 1

Well.... here's a chance to hear from a Pastor.

Well, I'm not pastoring now because I teach at a Seminary and Bible college but I'll try to help.

First, it depends upon both the Pastor and the religious tradition. Typically, a Pastor in a more conservative denomination, or one with counseling training, will have more than one session.

I typically held 5-6.

Second, there are a number of possible purposes for the sessions.

Some Pastors are just there to ensure that the legalities are all taken care of and all the details surrounding the ceremony are covered.

Others believe that if you choose to be married in their church that you desire/need to understand the beliefs of that church.

Still other, like me, also added couples counseling because I did not want to bless a marriage in which people were unwilling to face serious issues. If they could discuss the important issues before marriage then the chances for success in that marriage go up.

Typically my sessions went like this:

1. Why do you want to be married here?
Tell me all about the other person (while they listen). Then the other gets to reply/correct the story. We sort out why imperfect knowledge exists.

2. A look at Faith and the Christian concept of marriage.

3. Review of a personality/values inventory I have each take. It looks for potential problem areas so that we can talk about them.

4. Sex, Money, Friends, Chores, and Conflict... How our personalities and backgrounds work out in areas of the marriage

5. Children and Family Relationships

6. Details of the ceremony.


I usually started this about 3-4 months in advance and did them weekly.

I hope this helps. God Bless!

Answer 2

I haven't gone through it yet but my friend and her new husband did. She told me that bascially they ask you questions about your expectations and finances, etc. Questions to see if you have talked to you fiancee about and have an understanding. They usually just want to see if you have real expectations in a marriage because as you know, a marriage is never easy.

Answer 3

Things like where do you stand on how many kids to have, how important are material things to each of you, have you fought and how did you resolve it, what about each other makes you want to be together, questions on your family backgrounds.

Answer 4

yes, they ask how are your finances, what is your plans for the next 5 years, how long have you been dating.....things like that to make sure you not gonna divorce each other in a year

Answer 5

Our pastor put us through the wringer....he made sure we knew what we were getting into.