Is it possible to rediscover joy after losing a child? I have absolutely NO holiday spirit.?

Question

And if it is possible... I am open to suggestions! Thank you.

Answer 1

Of course it's possible, no one can go on without joy. I don't know when you lost your child, (& I'm very, very sorry), but grief takes time--different for different people. For now, I'd only suggest you think about what joys you HAVE; focus on them,& take every opportunity to be with friends. Let their good energy reinforce you. Laugh a lot! I'm not in the holiday spirit myself, (for different reasons), but I'm going to "force" myself to setting up the tree, & I know in th process, I'll start feeling much better. When I see all the wreaths on doors, & the Christmas lights, I feel like a GRINGE, & I don't want to feel that way, so I WILL make my contribition--if it's only the lights people can see in my window from across my lake. Try taking "baby steps?" Some candles...so on. You know joy; you'll rediscover it. Just don't expect "too" much of yourself & see how it goes. Best...

Answer 2

I call it the "I've Been Run Over By A Reindeer" syndrome. Feeling bogged down here, trying to hang on to the 'reason for the season,' more than anything. Things are different. Family are all 'back home,' and here I sit. Choosing gifts get more difficult every year. I have always felt a gift is something that you want the person to have, yet people just have so much they buy throughout the year anymore. I seem to remember not getting so much except a birthday gift through the year, then Christmas. Parents give in to buying their kids all year. It makes you wonder if they even appreciate the gifts, or if they like them. Christmas become socommercialized over the years. It has really put a damper on choosing gifts. People storming the stores for early sales, etc. It really does take away from what Christmas should be about. Perhaps just going back to basics, and something that is quality time more than anything. Taking the kids out for a meal/movie, something like that, giving them your time, since they have everything. We are all spoiled compared to what it was like years back. I hope you get your Chirstmas cheer back. I could use some myself.

Answer 3

I lost my son 4 days before Christmas. I think I understand how you feel. And yes time will heal you're pain. You must go on with your life. You will notice that you can only remember the joyous times you spent together. I put my trust and love in Heavenly Father, and knowing my son was is in a much better place.

Sometimes I feel as we are unhappy because we know they are in a better place, and don't have problems. Are we jealous? Probably so. Really I feel as we have it backwards. We should cry at birth, and rejoice at death.

Did you have a Wake? Sometimes that will really help.

YES! There is joy after losing a child!!! They want you to be happy...

Answer 4

I did bereavement counseling for three years for my church. What I learned was to hold on to the happy thoughts, events, occasions that you had with the child. If you had a miscarriage, there was a reason beyond our knowledge why it happen to you. I lost my niece when she was three months old to SIDS. It was such a shock to me and my sister. This happen over twenty years ago, and now in then I think about what would she be like if she was still living.
There is an excellent organization for people who have lost a child, please call your locate chapter. No charge just plenty of love and compassion for all that go to the meetings.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Answer 5

im so sorry about ur loss. dont hide in your emotions, that will just make u bitter. if u dont like to show them in front of ur family or friends, i suggest u go to a room close the door, and let it ALL out. i dont know what loosing a child feels like, cause im only 19, but i KNOW it IS VERY VERY HARD. even if u need to scream, well then scream. holding back ur emotions wont help @ all. Ask God to give u strenght. there is a song that i heard, its from a Christian Music Writer, its called "homesick", and the song says "Lord give me strenght to make it through somehow........ .......in Christ there are NO goodbyes" meaning, if ur a believer, and have asked Christ into your heart, bascially ur child just beat u home. and u will see him one of these days. go to a local church, or a church pastor and talk with them, they will really help u. i hope everything is going to be better soon.....and remember ALL the wonderful fun yall two had together. ♥♥God Bless♥♥

Answer 6

The morning process takes about one year.

I have know others that have lossed a love one and still had joy in their life. You have to recognize who the Joy giver is....Jesus. Joy is something from the inside.

Suggestion: attend a local church. See if their is a GriefShare program in your area. Start reading from the Book of Psalms.

Answer 7

You dont say the childs age , but it must be painfull, having said this , get involved with children who have no parents , volunteer to tutor children who need this help, sponsor a child here in the United States who needs the basics, believe me your heart wilfeel joy ,gladness and you will be blessed again with anoter child.And you can always adopt a child who will benefit and you will be blessed . Hugs. Love. Blessings.

Answer 8

I understand your feelings...these holidays are not always what TV commercials tell us they are...but even though I have never suffered such a loss, I do believe that all sorts of experiences we go through in life are there to teach us something. One day you'll find out that joy you've temporarily lost.
Love to you...

Answer 9

I think it is, but how it is reached I don't know. I lost a brother 2 weeks ago and I'm still trying to figure it out. Try being with family and friends. I know talking about it and laughing about the good times help.

Answer 10

i'm very sorry for your loss. i can't imagine anything worse than losing a child. i think that the best thing to do would be to speak to other folks that have lost children. i don't know how to go about that, but i'm sure there's a forum somewhere that handles such a thing. again, i'm sorry for your loss, and may the lord be with you.