Ok so my best friend told her husband that she doesnt feel comfortable having his friends over for supper tomorrow night. There are some reasons such as she will have to stay in her room while they eat in the living room (gender segregation), and she has to wear her Hijaab clothing in her room. Also, my best friend has this thing where she doesnt feel comfortable in other people's homes, but is happy to go out and hang out with them in a public place. The only people my best friend is comfortable having over is her family and me. Do you think she is being selfish or just being honest? I understand but there are others who say she is being selfish. Even I have the same thing where I believe my apartment is my place to take off my Islamic clothing and relax.
2006-12-19 12:52:59 · 8 answers · asked by Al-Imaratiyya 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
btw the person I am talking about is ME lol but I was kinda too embarressed to say it was me but hehehhe maybe I shud have said that earlier...me and my best friend are the same though because we come from the same country and culture
2006-12-19 13:02:19 · update #1
Yes. They are not mutually exclusive. You are telling the truth and being honest, but perhaps need a bit more practice being comfortable around others. This takes a bit of time, and unfortunately you have to do it to get better at it!
2006-12-19 13:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by hopflower 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your situation completely because I also wear hijab (actually I wear niqab) and it's really difficult for my husband to have company over since I will have to stay in my room. Our apartment is very open concept so it's nearly impossible to segregate men from women. I mean, it really depends on you. I don't think it's selfish because you are strict on hijab and that is what makes you comfortable. It is your home and that is the area which is "yours" you know what I mean? However, if your husband would like to have company over more often, maybe at those times, you could arrange to go out with some of your (girl) friends. See, when I have my friends over, my husband will leave so that they can all take off their hijabs and when his friends are over, then I'll either stay in my room and do my school work, or I'll go out with my family. But to answer your question, I don't think this is selfish at all, it's just you and about how comfortable you are with something. Nothing wrong with that! =)
2006-12-20 08:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that she was being honest, but that she may be a little selfish.
Then, If I had to stay in a different room and dress a certain way when my husband's friends came over, I would not want them over very often either.
Perhaps an arrangement can be made? The husband can have his friends over once in a while but not constantly so that you can be at peace in your own home?
Could you arrange to go to a friend's house or to visit your family on some of those nights?
2006-12-19 13:17:47 · answer #3 · answered by saopaco 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can definately see why you would rather go out than stay home and have to be "segregated" from the company....i don't think that is selfish at all....personally i wouldn't feel comfortable having people over if my spouse had to hide out in the bedroom the whole time.....i think selfish is more a matter of denying some-one else something than having a preference about where you dine
2006-12-19 22:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by SNAP! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're no longer being egocentric in any respect. You made a promise to work out your appropriate chum. you are able to desire to head via with that. This different chum, from what i'm getting out of it, asked you is she could desire to come alongside? that's a sprint impolite to me. you are able to desire to be invited by utilising the guy going on the holiday. Now, she has you in a situation the place you sense obligated to convey her, yet it can be a burden on you. that's no longer in any way honest. i could communicate with your chum and say "howdy, it quite is my possibility to truly bond with my appropriate chum, whom I never see. i in my view prefer to take interior the entire adventure together with her." Or something alongside those lines. Plus, i do no longer comprehend how i could desire to ever tolerate spending the entire holiday with somebody who does not settle for me as a individual. that could make the entire adventure a sprint yet of a bummer..
2016-10-05 12:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by alisha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let your husband know that this is the ONE night you will allow this. For one night, I think you can do something to make someone else happy.
2006-12-19 13:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by ThatGuy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like having people in my home too. But sometimes if they are relatives, you have to tolerate it. It would be good if it is once a year affair.
2006-12-19 21:31:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a matter between your best friend and her husband. They both live there, so together they'll have to decide what they think is appropriate.
2006-12-19 13:00:15 · answer #8 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋