Who's more jealous? The husband/men or Wife/women?

Question

Also does race play a role? Just want to know your thoughts.

I telecommute and so does my male counterpart. We work from home so if we need to contact each other, it is via e-mail or the phone.

Anyway, I called my co-worker today and his wife picked up. Here's how the conversation went:

Wife: Hello?
Me: Hi, is Keith there? This is Josephine. We work together.
Wife: I don't think so! "Click." She HUNG UP the phone.

I did not wait to call back. I hit redial and was going to give her a piece of my mind. Her husband also works from home. Does she not understand that he will get calls there regarding business?! I was not going to disrespect her, but I was going to tell her that what she did was inappropriate and that I did not appreciate it.

Please tell me, was I out of line in anyway?

This is in response to "Tofatandblack". I totally disagree 100%. When was I suppose to call him, NEVER? Again, this is during business hours. It is not like I called at 10PM at night. I called during the day.

Thank you everyone! I appreciate your answers! :)

Answer 1

It is not your place to have that talk with his wife. Granted it was rude, but it is his place to be letting her know that people will be calling, both men and woman.

Here is my thought on the differences with race. I feel that most women can be suspicious at some point if the guy is fooling around. Then they feel insecure that their relationship might be over women are more forgiving when it comes to all races.

Black men don't like other men messing with their main woman. It is a territorial thing. Even if they love the woman with all their heart, most likely they will leave her if she messed up on them.

White men on the other hand, can be submissive at times and will stick their head in the sand if their spouse is messing around. They are more apt to forgive and go on with the relationship.

Answer 2

One of the tough things about the telephone is that you never know what just happened to the person on the other end that causes them to react as they do. Is there something going on that causes her to mistrust him? Are they in the middle of a big fight over an ex-girlfried? You never can tell what's going on.

There are certainly stereotypes in different cultures of being more controlling or macho than others, but that's using a rather broad brush to paint someone with.

I think calling right back was the right thing to do, because otherwise she may think it really was a girlfriend. When you call back however, you could start with, something like, "Hey, I'm sorry if I caught you at a bad time, but I really do work with Keith and I need to talk to him about getting the spreadsheet of whatever ready for our boss Ms. Clayburn." or something like that.

It's okay to be direct, but there could be extenuating circumstances that are making her day miserable.

Answer 3

The answer to your 1st question? Judging from historical facts, I I believe both sexes can be extremely jealous. I'm not sure if race is a better predictor of the degree of jealousy, but I can assure you that Italians, Spanish and Greeks are extremely jealous.

With regard to your second question, no, you were not out of line, however please don't blame the wife too much. You said, 'We work together'. The inference, here, is that you both work in the same office which, of course, is not the case. She was rude to hang up, not giving you the chance to explain yourself further, however, once she realizes the situation, she won't do that again.

Answer 4

in the case of myself and my husband, he's definately the jealous one, but he's able to admit it, and that does help.
I think it really depends on the individual though. I've seen some really jealous men, and some really jealous women!

I think your co-workers wife was really rude to you, and I can think of no good reason for it. she sounds like she has some major trust and jealousy issues to work on. but be very careful about giving her a piece of your mind, that could just make things worse, although I totally understand why you felt like telling her a thing or two. maybe you should try talking to your co-worker, and telling him about what happened, and let him know that you felt offended and completely blind-sided by his wifes behavior. and ask him if he would talk to her and explain to her exactly who you are, and why you're calling, even though you have already told her. and hopefully it won't happen again, but if it does, then you tell her off! and to answer your question, I don't think you were out of line. you have legitimate reasons to be calling her husband.
Hope things get better! and Best Wishes.

Answer 5

I think she was way out of line, and you felt disrespected and agitated and rightfully so. Did you give her a piece of your mind? Hopefully not. I would have called back and asked for him, and if she refused again. Yes, I probably would have said something very calmly, (if you are upset she would not have heard you as clearly) and simply told her, I am a co-worker and I am shocked by your behaviors. However, I would have tried to reach him and have him deal with her. She is obviously very insecure and has some issues. She obviously knows he works from home. Poor thing, she must be a very miserable human being. Sucks to be her! God bless****

Answer 6

I think both can be jealous it just depends on the situation. By the way, I am with you on the calling back and giving her a piece of your mind however I would have been respectful so good job.

Answer 7

You never know, they could have been in an argument the second you were trying to call. There are always 2 sides to everything. Maybe you should e-mail him instead next time.

Answer 8

I think it is equal if the other gives their spouse a reason not to trust them than of course some jealousy issue will come into play.

Answer 9

I think you should of made it more clear then that..you should of ask for Mr. not by his first name,,you only sounded like a mistress...us women are very jealous of our own man,,,so, next time you call back be sure and ask for Mr.whatever his last name is.....it's not your fault don't feel bad just next time make it sound more business like....

Answer 10

It could of been bad timing. Maybe he had a dream and said your name and she assumed it was an erotic dream instead about work.

OR

She could be just jealous of the time he puts in to work.