Recently married best friend won't give me space?

Question

Recently married best friend won't give me space?
I was recenlt married in October and ever since I got married my best friend has been getting bent out of shape. Things have been busy for me and my husband we are in a new house we moved in a week before we got married and we are comfortable staying home spending our nights after work together doing nothing. My best friend will call me and want me to go shopping with her. I have worked all day and don't really feel like shopping. When I tell her know she will call me the next day and ask agian. I agian will say no I like to shop on the weekends when I have the energy and the money. She gets upset with me and says we never hang out and she knew this would happen when we got married. and gets all deppressred about it. We see each other once a week and I feel that is enough. I love her to death like I said she is my best-friend but sometimes lately for the last few months she has been driving me crazy and I dont want to hurt her. She right now is single and feels that she needs me.

Additional Details

30 minutes ago
Do you think i am wrong for this. I know alot of my problem is I have sesonal effective disorder so I am depressed in the winter and don't feel like doing much at all. The only peron I really enjoy to do alot of things with is my husband. We have been together for 6 years married only a few months. I really don't want to be a bad friend I just can't do it.

26 minutes ago
just one more thing I would like to add I don't really think she is lonely she has several men that she is dating. That is another part of the reason I think things are kinda off between us. She plays games with these guys one week she really likes the one and then the next day she doesn't meanwhile she is still seeing the guy she has been seeing for 2 years that treats her like crap. Its just non stop drama and I am the one that always has to listen to it. I am not complaining thats what friends do but sometimes I will admit it gets to me

Answer 1

This is your best friend. Talk to her. She'll get it. Meanwhile remember that there is nothing like having a best friend. As your marriage ebbs and flows, you'll need her. Have her come over and hang with you just over dinner during the week. She just misses you. Relationships change but you have to remember how important she is to you.

Answer 2

First of all congratulation,,hope you'll lead a good,loving life with Ur husband.

See u love your friend and that is very good cause friends love and care for each other,,and there is no harm in that.
But to leave everything behind and running after Ur friend is something not suitable,, now u have a new life plus a new duties.
I'm sUre that Ur friend will understand soon that Ur leading a completely new life,, so don't feel guilty cause seeing Ur friend once a weak is too good,and when she married she'll know the whole stuff from being a wake the whole night :)
ur friend sad cause she felt as losing you ,, but believe me everything will change soon.

Answer 3

My best friend went wacko after I got married too.

Set boundaries, Wed. her day or something.

Call her every other or every third day.

And I think most importantly, you need to be honest with her in regards to how she treats not only you but others too. If it really bothers you how she plays with men, tell her. If you hate the damn drama, let her know. A real friend respects the other enough to get very honest. And a real friend also knows when to give the other some space.

Just because you are best friends does not mean that you will always agree!!

Answer 4

Sounds like you have grown-up and moved on. And she is a little jealous. Of course the relationship that the two of you share is going to change you are married. She is either going to have to accept the time you have for her or else. She will just have her feelings hurt. Trust me if she had a man she was really interested in she would not be calling and bothering you trying to make you feel guilty. And you should not. She needs to get over herself, and you need to be honest with her. She should be able to understand when one is married the friendship changes, this is not rocket science. You are not doing anything wrong, she is being selfish and jealous. Good luck to you and God bless****

Answer 5

Think of you and your best friend holding each others hands and then think of a visual attachment without any hands, but just arms attached like Siamese twins.

That is how you are with her psychologically.

I am going to say something that you don't want to hear... "Your Friend is not the problem."

You are co dependent on her constant need for you. You are not choosing to be firm and getting to the point with her to stop because simply put... you are not ready to let her go.

You sense that it's time to let her go because you are now married and feel more comfortable as an item with your husband, but you haven't decided to fully change and move on.

When you feel enough is enough, do it with love and firmness, but don't wait until you have to find something wrong with your best friend to do it. Good byes don't have to be angry or sad...

Let her go when you've had enough.

Answer 6

If she is your "best friend", then its abnormal to want to keep her at arms length. Its as if youve traded her in for a new best friend, because you are choosing to spend all your time with your husband and none with her, except on weekends when you feel like shopping or have money. I think SHE needs to find herself a REAL best friend.

Answer 7

I think you friend loves you so much she doesn't want you to stop being friends. She may feel some separation for a while. Tell her how you feel like if you don't feel like hanging on the weekdays tell her weekends. I think she loves you and doesn't want you to e separated.

Answer 8

first u shoud tell her how u feel and explain to her that u are tired after work. then she should break up with the guy she is seeing and try 2 find some1 else.

Answer 9

she misses the attention she used to get from you.