Is it normal?

Question

To be ashamed of my poem writing? I mean, I'm a happy, pretty, friendly 13 year old and I write very dark, disturbing poems. I'd be kinda embaressed if a guy saw my poems. Is that normal?
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If you want to read one:

You'd think, you'd think the sun would rise,
You'd fall asleep and shut your eyes.
The moon would fall. -Fall, fall,
As the sun would stand for all, all.

You'd think in the morning you'd wake up.
Your mom to make your food.
You'd take it all for granted,
Until your life subdued.

Moms not in the kitchen,
It's still too dark outside.
A bloody knife is on the floor,
You slowly shut your eyes.

Is mommy in the bathroom?
Is she lying on the floor?
A pool of blood beside her,
She couldn't take it anymore.

You know she's dead already,
As you run to get the phone,
As you dial just 3 numbers,
You run away from home.

You're sitting on the sidewalk,
As the screaming engines roar.
Now Mommy's in the hospital,
On the very lowest floor.
*continued*

When you asked where Mommy was,
The nurse, she only shrugged.
Nurse told you she was sleeping,
And would not be waking up.

You ran away forever,
Just an angel in the snow.
A homeless little angel,
With no one to love and nowhere to go.

As tragedies are breeding,
Eating into your helpless skin,
A homeless little angel,
Will save your soul from the very in.


Next time you go to sleep, sleep,
Don't let your mommy weep, weep,
Tell her it will be alright,
And that she'll make it through the night.

COPYRIGHT 2006 KATE STEINBERG

Answer 1

It needs some editing and polishing . Use a thesaurus and watch your repetition of words. Write in the present tense, it's more powerful. Learn when to say "you" and when to say "I" depending on if you want it to be first person, second person, or third. Here's a suggestion to trim it down. Practice and find your style and it will get better and better....

It is really good, this is only a suggestion of how you can trim things down.................................................................


As I sleep my dreams tell her that life will be alright,
because my mother cringes and weeps in the night.

Sun rises, my eyes shut,
moon falls, as light stands for all.

I awaken, and make my way,
Mom not in the kitchen, still lead astray,
buried into her own devices.

I shut my eyes.
I call.
Knife drips with red.

Is she lying on the floor?
In the bathroom?
Pools of blood?
She couldn't take it anymore?

She's dead as I dial the phone.
I rock on the sidewalk,
As screaming engines roar.

She's in the hospital,
On the very lowest floor.

I ask where she lay.
The nurse shrugs away,
says, "Mommy's asleep little one."

I now run forever,
an angel in the snow.
Homeless and forgotten,
of who I was, and all I know,
with no one to love and nowhere to go.

(save souls from within).

Answer 2

Hey Kate,
No you shouldn't be ashamed, I know it is weird to you that you write such dark poems with strong meanings but you are very talented as a writer and poet I say it is ok to be slightly embarrassed if people are reading your poems but that is normal even for writers of childrens books. Writers are known to be sensitive of their work, so just keep up with the writing and someday soon I'll be hearing your name on books,movies and probably more.Keep up the good work.
Tilly:)
PS I really like the poem!

Answer 3

girl, i love you're poems. They're deep man. Ok, of course you wld be embareassed a bit if a guy saw your poem. I write poems to--all the time. This is off the subject but if u want, i hv friends who like do these poem contests-if you win, you get tons of money. I also have some friends who are like singers who cld put music into ur words and stuff. If u interested, write me at '[e-mail]'.

Answer 4

Girlfriend: It is ovbious that you have some issues of past abuse at home either it being done to you or done to your mother. Your "poem" sounds more like you are screaming for help. I suggest that you confide in a close friend or relative and then seek some professional help. Don't delay because time's a waisting.
Good luck,
Mr. M on "is it normal."

Answer 5

No/one or nothing should stop you from your poetry! If you feel that way don't be afraid to write it down! Even if some people say it isn't "normal," who gives a flying flip! They don't know the real poetic soul you have. Your own opinon should matter over everyone's! BTW excellent poem!

Answer 6

Woh this is beautiful! I honestly shed a tear. Not everybody experiences having a mother, so regardless of how long, you are ahead of many if during a period of time in your life you did. I don't know if this is based on a true story, or even one you went through, regardless, what ever inspired you, keep on writing you are good!

Answer 7

What you notice on consumer-friendly, is what's established. occasion: in case you notice someone hiccuping that throughout many circumstances established yet whilst its nonstop for days or months, it quite is maximum possibly no longer established. additionally if someone replaced into born with something like six arms on each and each hand would possibly no longer seem established to us in spite of the shown fact that it quite is common to that person. So now and back it quite is somebody element that no person else will understand.

Answer 8

It's very sad and dark, but well written. As long as you are mostly happy and well adjusted, I don't see any problem with you writing this. It doesn't mean you're warped or anything. It's just a poem.

Answer 9

thats actually really good
i didnt care about it being disturbing, but it was awesome

if you'd be embarresed if guy read one of your poems... then change around the style of them
you have a poetic mind, you can write about whatever you want and make it sound good

its your choice what you write about...

Answer 10

This poem is absolutely beautiful. I am inspired. I write poetry, too, and all of my poems are written this way. Being dark is a trait to be appreciated, not embarassed about. And you are not emo, you are deep, creative, and have many layers of talent. I think everyone is embarassed about their own art, whether it's a painter, a musician, or a POET. Just be yourself and keep writing your works of art. It will be appreciated.