Is there anything wrong with a bf going to the strip club? I told my bf to never go 2 the stripclub. He said ok and that he never would. I told him this b/c I think that it is very disrespectful if he is with me! Well 2day I asked him what he ate for lunch & he said steak & I was like where & he named off a strip club. The thing is that he went anyway knowing how I feel about it and I asked him politely why he get going and I did not want him 2? He then he hung up on me. I just don't see what the big deal is about wanted to go 2 a nasty strip club, what do they have that I don't have. He just keeps doing what he wants & he hates when I fuss about it. Am I being 2 nagging or do I have the right to be angry and fuss at him? Is this causing him to want to go and do it anyway? He keeps saying that he loves me but if he did he wouldn't do anything that I don't like and hurt my feelings. I am a little bit confused. I don;t do things that he dosen't like. I feel disrespected!!
2006-12-19 10:03:17 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I agree with you on this. It IS disrespectful to go to a strip club... ESPECIALLY when you already told him not to. I don't see why he thinks you're nagging... if he just respected you to begin with, you wouldn't be "nagging." What's up with guys?! You have a right to be angry.
My friend had caught my boyfriend smoking when he knew how I felt about it. I had a long talk with him about it and I told him exactly how I felt about it... being unhealthy and everything. Even though he said he does it once in a blue moon, I still didn't like it. He promised me he would never smoke again.
Your boyfriend doesn't really love you if he does things that hurts you intentionally. He sounds very immature. I don't see why people would have to go to such a demeaning place and hurt the ones they love.
2006-12-19 10:05:56 · answer #1 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he said he wouln't; it definitely is disrespectful. And during lunch? Are the steaks really that good??
On the flip side - I'm not trying to say what he did wasn't bad. He said he wouldn't and he did, but - Maybe some guys at the office/job convinced him to go and he didn't want to be the lone guy not to go and so he caved. If they don't have anything you don't have, then like you said... is it that big of a deal? He saw some naked girls. Oooo.
Now, if he went alone or if this is repeat behavior then that's probably a sign that there are other things wrong with your relationship. You say "he keeps doing what he wants & he hates when I fuss about it." Well, that's definitely a sign.
Maybe you're trying to change too much of him. Sure, people should be expected to change to a degree and honor the wishes of their loved ones, but are you saying that you fell in love with a guy who does things you don't like him doing... That sounds a tad odd.
Think about whether this guy is really for you. If so, have a talk with him. Find some middle ground. Most relationships require compromise, but it sounds like you are making demands he's not ready to meet. Ask why he likes to do these things. For example, did he go to the club because everyone else was going? or was he going to see the girls? If he goes for the girls, is it a novelty thing? or is there something lacking in the relationship? It may not be sex, it could be something else that he's finding release from by going to the club... or doing whatever it is that you don't like. It'll be a hard talk, but it would be good to do.
Personally, I think strip clubs are exciting for only about the first 10 minutes and then I'm rather bored. I haven't been to one in over a decade now.
Good luck.
2006-12-19 10:28:48 · answer #2 · answered by volleyjacket 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, a relationship is all about communication and compromise. If you feel the he is cheating on you by visiting a strip club, then he needs to take those feelings into account. He's got to make a decision, either continue to go to the strip club or continue to work on a relationship with you. Doesn't sound like he can have both. It's not unreasonable for you to ask him to stay faithful to you. I'm a guy, so I know how guys think and I can guarantee you that he's not thinking about his relationship with you when he's staring at her.
My advice, give him a chance to give it up and if he can't handle that type of commitment, then that's not the type of guy you wanted in the first place. Right?
2006-12-19 10:14:58 · answer #3 · answered by Todd O 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You've been disrespected without a doubt. That's true regardless of the wisdom of forbidding his attendance at strip clubs. If your response to his disrespect is to be angry and fuss at him, he'll very likely repeat the behavior. We teach people how to treat us and he's been taught that he can disrespect you and pay no penalty other than listen to some anger and fussing from you. You have the right to set any standard of behavior you wish. If he can violate that standard and get off with a little anger and fussing, you're all set up to continue the pattern. You must like the pattern or you would not participate in it.
2006-12-19 10:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Deciding whether you mind your boyfriend going to strip clubs is a personal decision. It obviously upsets you. You asked him not to go. He went anyway. Of course you're feeling disrespected!
Try talking (calmly) with him about it. Tell him why it upsets you. Then listen to what he has to say. You each have to respect the others' feelings about this situation. Maybe you can come to a compromise.
However, if it's an issue that you feel you can not compromise on then don't. You have to pick your battles and decide what is important to you. He should respect your feelings. And vice versa.
2006-12-19 10:10:44 · answer #5 · answered by fluffomatic24 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i don't have this concern with my contemporary guy and that i've got in no way had it with any of them...and that i can assist you recognize, if this ever grew to alter right into a concern, it would not be for terribly long reason that guy could get the boot. shifting out is a robust thought yet i'm keen to guess this subject (the disrespect) isn't limited to easily the unusual techniques he grabs you. in case you have asked him to end doing something and he would not make the slightest attempt to understand why it bothers you or to end, he's not precisely relationship cloth in my techniques. i could say, if he constantly grabs you on your "go well with aspects" it ought to be borderline sexual abuse. it is not proper how he intends for it back in the process...as a humorous tale or regardless of. What concerns is the way it makes you sense and which you have have been given asked him to end. attempt to describe lower back the severity of the priority and how it extremely makes you sense as a substitute of purely saying "end." If he tells you you're slightly one, tell him he's an immature sack of sh*t who can locate some floozie to snatch throughout every time he so chooses in spite of the undeniable fact that it is not you. there are a number of adult adult males accessible. and much who will appreciate your desires.
2016-10-18 12:18:25 · answer #6 · answered by sachiko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, I could be mistaken, but I think most young men are going to be going to a strip club every now and then, if for no other reason, this is where guys usually have their bacherlor parties before they get married.
On the other hand, you certainly do have the right to feel the way you do and infact, I think many women feel the same way as you do on this issue. If your current boyfriend does indeed really love you and he's in to really making the relationship work, I think he will respect you on this.
I think it's one thing for a guy to want to play a round of golf with his friends or have a night out bowling, but your are correct, going out with the sole intent to look at other young women's bodies, is not a healthy sign if he's really serious about his committment to you. I do hope he'll see and respect your point of view on this. Good luck to you both.
2006-12-19 10:18:31 · answer #7 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I don't have a problem with my boyfriend going to a stripclub..the girls are usually not that attractive and kinda crackwhore looking anyway. I think you should tell him that you can deal with the stripclubs but he has to be honest with you. Also, if it really bothers you then go to a male strip club with ur girls and tell your b/f see his reaction. If he doesnt like it then you can have an agreement where neither of you go anymore.
2006-12-19 10:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by goldengirl 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That is very wrong of him to go to a strip club after telling him not to. Well guys that go by themselves, I think are just lonely! But why don't you throw him of guard and tell him that you want to go with him sometime, lots of couples do that, but it might give you an answer as to why he is going....
2006-12-21 10:51:33 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
he is a guy and is proving that through this whole situation. He will continue doing it because of a lack of respect. If you asked him not to go, he agreed and made a promise that he wouldn't, then still went anyways then he is just showing how much he values his commitment. You have either two choices, live with it, or kick him to the curb because as much as you would like to, you aren't going to change that about him
2006-12-19 10:07:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋