I looked through my boyfriends msn messenger contacts yesterday, and out of curiousity decided to check on his message history with this one girl i didnt know - only to find him shamelessly flirting with her, telling her "omg you are so sexy"... and asking once recently "hey brandy - are you horny?"
he says he was drunk and stupid, and he doesnt think it classes as cheating on me, and I know he really regrets it - but its what everyone always says... I should leave him, cos clearly he is capable of things like that now. I just thank god she wasnt online to answer his question because I could not bear to have read anything further.
I just dont know what to do - he says he's sorry, and I do love him more than anything... but how can I trust him again? I mean I was upstairs when he did it...
Please help. I feel so pathetic and angry and upset and embarassed.
Thanks.
2006-12-19 09:36:10 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
probably not just because he was drunk, we'd been having problems recently because i was just feeling a bit down, and i think maybe i wasnt giving him enough attention... he knows what he's done is wrong, and he understands how im feeling... i just dont want to be fooled. but deep down i know he is a good guy, sometimes he just tries so hard to be seen as "cool"... thanks for all the replies tho, i will give them all serious thought.
2006-12-19 10:03:23 · update #1
This is only a decision you can make; only you can determine what kind of person he is and if he regrets it and would never do anything like that (or anything further) again. I have made many stupid mistakes, as I'm sure many men have, but am grateful my wife sticks with me. It's understandable you are angry, and even feel pathetic or embarassed, and you need to make sure he knows that. Let him know if you ever find he is doing anything like that again you are gone.
2006-12-19 09:42:24 · answer #1 · answered by straightup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I've been in the similar situation. Except in my scenario, it was switched. It was me flirting with another guy. I also told him how hot he was and stuff, and told him how much I liked him and crap. My boyfriend didn't see the conversations, but he had an idea of what was going on between me and that guy. He felt similar to what you are feeling. It is not fair to break up just for that reason. People make mistakes. I made a mistake and I regret that I have ever done such a thing. I was given another chance, and my boyfriend and I are very happy now. We love each other very much and it would've been a huge mistake if we ever broke up.
He loves me to death, like you love your b/f. He also told me he felt like he couldn't trust me anymore and he felt angry and upset and heartbroken. But he forgave me. So after all, it's up to you. Are you willing to give him another chance? But I told you my situation, and everything in the end worked out.
In the end it's up to you. Let me know what you decided.
2006-12-19 09:44:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must not have actually ever trusted him. Why would you think it is ok to look at that stuff without asking him first? Yes it is cheating in a biblical sense. Are a bible based person? If so then you know forgiveness the real deal. Learn to trust. If you trust someone you do not look thier msn messenger to find out who they are talking to.
2006-12-19 09:42:57 · answer #3 · answered by Mike E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know you dont want to hear this but here it goes anyway. the boy isnt really sorry hes just sorry he got caught. and i hope you are not so inlove and blind that you will swallow what guys have to say when they get caught. how ever if he would of said yes i did it and i dont know why or gave you a good reason and drunk isnt one of them then i would say he really is sorry but that has to happen before he gets caught preferably. so sorry honey with you being up stairs at the time really is a clincher.
2006-12-19 09:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by moe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She thinks that matters are going to get greater. She is afraid to permit move. Not everybody has the braveness to be on my own or to head out with any individual else. I have identified many humans like that, they lose themselves in relationships that aren't healthful however they are able to best be taught from their revel in even though you rather desire to support her out simply be there for her every time she is able however you cant do greater than that .
2016-09-03 16:15:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trust is gone, you should leave him and move on, try to find someone else you can trust.
2006-12-19 09:42:12 · answer #6 · answered by Die S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel he doing wrong then he is. When people get drunk the truth comes out,Just remember that!
2006-12-19 09:40:33 · answer #7 · answered by colormespoiled 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no...get outta that relationship.....He'll cheat on you if he hasn't already.
2006-12-19 09:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by a1980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not innocent! He will cheat!
2006-12-19 09:38:43 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋