always the other woman?

Question

I haven't been in a real relationship in about 10 months. After the last one i decided i just wanted to have fun. But since then i've been with 3 different people who have girlfriends. (no there girlfriends do not know about me. and i don't usually find out about them until a month later..) Why do i always get involved with guys who are already in a relationship? Why can't i be the girlfriend for once?! It just seems to me that because of my bad rep. (which i've tried desperately to change) these are the only guys interested in me..

Answer 1

For heaven's sake just enjoy your bad rep. Play the field, date around and sleep around but be open (and proud) about it. Believe me, when a girl is openly in sexual control some of her partners start to desire that she settle down with only them. I have at present 4 lovers and 3 of them have really fallen for me and are pressuring me for more commitment.

Answer 2

I'm making a lot of assumptions here but I think you may have self esteem issues.
I suggest you lay off guys for a while and pursue other interests. Join some clubs or groups that do things that you are interested in, pursue some hobbies.
Find a new social circle. Peoples perceptions of another person can remain long after that person has changed, grown and moved on.
GIve yourself several months off men and work on how you feel about yourself.
When you start dating again, go out with the guys for a while before you sleep with them. The ones that just want a quick piece of tail will lose interest very quickly if you don't give it to them right away.

Answer 3

You're always the other woman because you allow yourself to be. No one does anything to you that you don't allow themselves. Be alone for a while and firmly decide what you want and what you're willing to compromise. You most certainly should never compromise your values and your self-worth. If you have a reputation, this is so because you've allowed someone to take something away from you without treating you in the way you deserve. It's not impossible to shed a reputation but it's not going to happen over night either. You have to learn how to build friendships with the opposite sex and take your time really getting to know them 3-6 months minumum before considering a relationship and even longer before you get physical. You can learn really quickly who's a wolf in sheep clothing this way. But this is not fool proof either but life is a risk. Think of yourself a gem. Gems are rare and priceless. Not everyone has them and they are not available at a price. Rocks on the other hand can be picked and thrown away very easily. Don't be a rock, be a gem.

Answer 4

You have to learn to love yourself again and only be with a person who respects you. Do not go looking for a guy... let him come to you. There are enough sleazes out there who will cheat on their gfs, so beware and be careful... Don't jump at the first thing that catches your eye. If you are interested in someone, do a little digging and find out about them first... It is like exams, be prepared and you won't fail.....Don't be a push over and don't be a snob, but be a lady and act like one. Don't take any guff or rude remarks from guys , most of they are insecure and losers.
Be selective and take your time. there is no rush to find someone. what is the hurry???? Be strong and independent and don't think you have to have a bf on your arm to make you someone..... Wrong answer.... have a little faith in you and treat yourself like you are really special and they will see that and the game players will back off, cause they know they don't have a chance.....
Give yourself some credit girl ... and don't sell yourself short.
With a new attitude you will be able to spot the dawgs a long way off.......

Answer 5

Trust me sweetheart- your time will come! Some guys are just like thatr- they want their cake and icecream all at once! They r young and have no idea how to be loyal! Its nowhere near your fault they lie to you! You really do have to kiss alot of frogs to find a prince and trust me one day u will find the perfect man for you who will love u and repsect you 100% that I promise! He could be right under your nose and u dont even know it! Look more closely around you! Change places u go! If u keep going to the same places to meet the same guys- u r going to keep getting those kind of guys! Try bars close to law firms- or try book stores instead of bars! Do things that interest you and if u see a guy there- he is obviosly interested in it also! It will come in time I promise! Merry Xm,as and good luck!

Answer 6

Maybe you should try slowing down a little bit. I thought you said you just wanted to have fun, so why are you jumping into relationships. And it shouldnt be you with the bad rep it should be the guys. Try taking a break from relationships for a while, or next guy you meet, take it slow

Answer 7

Do you know a nerd? Or a cute, innocent guy? Or maybe a shy one? Anyway try to be with one of these ones. This would help on your reputation. And about escaping the already "have a girlfriend" guys, well, try to meet his friends, ask about him and so on, try to know his world, before getting involved deeper! Also when you start a relationship try to don't kiss with your boyfriend for a longer time, so you won't seem a "*****". Good luck!

Answer 8

If you know about these other women then its because you are allowing yourself to be the other woman. If your rep is bad which your trying to change stop being with so many men. Maybe find a new place to hang out, a new group of people to hang around with people that way they do not know about your "rep"

Answer 9

Start by taking yourself more seriously. Get to know a guy, really know him as a friend before you get involved. If he's with someone, you should know that before you jump into something with him.

If you are serious about changing your reputation, I suggest you start by respecting yourself. If you don't know a guy well enough to know he's got a girlfriend, you don't know him well enough.

Only date people who you've met through others for a while. Get to know them in settings with their friends (parties, group dates, etc). If a guy is not available to talk (I don't mean text message) after work and on lunch breaks is probably in a relationship.

Good luck

Answer 10

Don't worry, your time will come. As for those jerks who held your heart and another's, I say forget about 'em. As hard as it sounds, you might want to just take your time. Also take the time to get to know the men you date. If worse comes to worse, try some online dating services. Believe it or not, they do actually work! Remember, every one of those lost girls with no real man, (me included) has a guy out there waiting. You don't always have to have a boy friend. Enjoy hanging with the girls for awhile, with no guy to mess with your heart. Give yourself time to mend.
good luck!!!!