My bf's daughters stepfather did something to her and her mom and now they are staying at my bf's place. I'm not happy about it but he said they had no where else to go. He said he didnt tell me sooner because he was worried about losing me but i knew something was up because i hadnt seen him in three weeks. He told me today his daughter said if he carried on seeing me then she would never talk to him again(because of our age gap)but i love him and i'm worried she is poisoning his mind,if he loves me do you think he's listen to her?would you wait for him if you was in my shoes?
2006-12-19 09:01:42 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he loves you he will stay with you . iv been in a simillar situation lately with a kid destroying a relationship but not knowing it . if he listens to the child then your better off finding someone else . (im free)
2006-12-19 09:07:43 · answer #1 · answered by bob a builder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
blood is thicker than water....
He should have been up front with you from the beginning - something bad happened and his willingness to take in his ex shows that he has some good qualities about him. Although his lack of honesty towards you is suspect since he should have been honest up front allowing you to be fully informed so you could understand the situation.
As for the daughter - she has her dad and mom living under the same roof - separate but together - and during the holidays that must make the daughter feel pretty good.... you are a threat to the daughters current living environment - be patient, ask when the ex will be moving out and take a break from involvement with the daughter.....
As for not telling you - pretty strange....
As for the daughter never talking to him again... whatever.... she is controlling the dad right now and he needs to re-set the rules - not the daughter.... if he is really interested in long term with you he will let her know she is wrong for making these threats and get over it....
Sounds like an older man who enjoyed the younger women until confrontation came into his life and he is taking the path of least confrontation... confront him with what you need and see if he is willing to meet your expectations. Don't make them so hard he runs.... men hate confrontation and even hate demands more!
2006-12-19 09:14:41 · answer #2 · answered by D. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give it a little more time but it's got to be him that comes forward to reassure you there is a future for you together, nothing is going on, his daughters feelings haven't changed his mind, etc.
I would sit back a little and see what he does, 3 weeks have already passed so it doesn't look good i'm afraid.
His daughter will be seeing you as the enemy, step father is out of the picture so your the reason stopping the dream of her parents from getting back together. That's probably not true but that's the way she'll be feeling so just try and understand why she is doing it.
I can understand your feelings here, your insecurities and he should be coming to you with all the information, be upfront and as open as possible.
3 days to find the right time to tell you is one thing, 3 weeks is a joke and that's deliberately hiding a very important thing that should have been discussed.
As i said, sit back an just wait but the fact he took so long before speaks volumes about how important you are in his life.
2006-12-19 09:17:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did her feel about seeing you is what is important, not what his daughter said..
She is temporarily with him...she is looking for attention and you take his attention away from her. She is threatened by you.
He told you he was afraid of losing you.I would ask why he waited so long to be truthful. If he can not share the truth and believe in you as a partner, then you have no business being with him... He sounds a bit flaky to me.,. He should have called you immediately.. and is his ex spending time at his house??? that is the question. I think you need to go over there and have a visit unannounced and really see what is going on.......I am worried he is not telling you all the truth. You have nothing to be jealous about or worry about, if he is not the guy for you, then so be it... but if he is he'd better do some fast talking and explaining to you and is daughters.
I think you will have your plate full with this situation. I would probably move on to something that isn't so complicated. If his daughter is blackmailing him with her emotional outbursts, and he is letting her get away with it , and telling you to be patient, I'd be looking for a new gig.'''''
2006-12-19 09:12:49 · answer #4 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult situation I think your boyfriend does love you only when you have children with someone there will always be a link in this I really think he is just trying to protect them and if that is what he is doing then he is a good man and caring really he should have told you sooner maybe he didn't want to upset you although he should see you more and tell his daughter that you are now part of his life she is clingy to her father now cause she trusts him try and understand but tell him if he wants you then the truth should always be told to all concerned.
2006-12-19 09:13:35 · answer #5 · answered by Bernie c 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your mind off him for a while go out and have some fun with peops your own age..Lighten up for a while and time will tell if yyou're meant to be together just don't sit around waiting for him to make his mind up..Use your mind Good luck sweetie
2006-12-19 09:09:07 · answer #6 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a sticky situation. It is hard to date a guy with kids because they always want their mom and dad together. They see you as a threat to them and their mother. She is hoping her dad goes back to her mom. I think your boy friend needs to let her know it is his life and he can date who he wants to date. The mother re-married so why can't the father have a relationship with you. You need to talk to your boyfriend before his daughter ruins what you both have. Good luck!!!
2006-12-19 09:08:26 · answer #7 · answered by red1967 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the age difference? Are you one of his daughter's friends?
He's an adult and needs to make his own decisions. If he's a good dad though, his children will always come before you. I wouldn't wait for him.
2006-12-19 09:06:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly this guy doesnt love you just using you wake up if it was his daughter of course he will listen to her but a step daughter is another way of showing you that he is chossing this girl first before you get rid of him he is a looser lol get a life girl there are better,respecting man out there
2006-12-19 09:11:25 · answer #9 · answered by Eunice M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he would go ahead with something he thinks I wouldn't be happy with & then blames the lack of communication on me because he feels I wouldn't like it....is enough for me to get rid I'm afraid.
What else would he keep secret for fear of facing me with...no thanks, got to be honest all the way.
I had an affair but didn't say anything because I thought you wouldn't like it...????
2006-12-19 09:09:53 · answer #10 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋