Is 5 years a big difference between possible lovers?

Question

I met a guy at a training camp. He has 20 years and I have almoust 15. First I tought he looks good, but I stopped any "love" thinking from my head knowing our age. But then we were good friends, and then we started to get closer and closer. We were lying till 12 o'clock in a bed arms in arm and talking with friends. Once we slept together but with clothes and NO KISSES just huggings and slow talkings and we didn't talk about anything of beeing together. I think maybe he wsa scared about my age. After the camp I felt empty, lonely for a while. Now I'm better, because I talk with him on SMS, but I'm afriad of the next amp. What will happen? Should I let the relationship to go further? I mean I didn't even kiss him! Also some coaches were angry when they saw us holding hands once, they sad I'm too little, but there was in a way nothing. What should I do????

Answer 1

of course its not a big deal my bf is 5 years older than me im 18 and he's 23. If you were over 16 it would'nt be such a big deal but its illegal for anything to happen at the moment trust me you woul'dnt want him to get in trouble. Ill just say let nature take its course next time, don't force it get to know him a bit more im sure theres no rush. Rite?

Good Luck xxx

Answer 2

What you did together was more than enough to give him a sexual high, so your "we didnt do anything" is an invalid statement.

A 20 yr old man is interested in a 15 yr old young lady for only one reason, and its not a long term relationship. Typically the words they use to describe young girls your age is "cherry" and "tight", and thats what they are about. If your relationship isnt founded on trust and respect, its already over. Considering your relative ages and maturity levels, if you actually have a relationship then its already over. That isnt fun to hear, and you probably dont want to believe it.

Guys brains dont congeal until after they are 22. This guy could swear by sun moon and stars, and still walk away in a year. He isnt mature, and you arent in a place to be desirable by a man who you can trust your heart with.

Either wait 5 years, then look at doing something, or go look elsewhere. If he cant wait now.. he wont be faithful later. If you cant wait now, he deserves someone better than you.

Your lifemate relationship should be started when a dominant force in either of your hearts and minds isnt hormones. It shouldnt be done before you can reliably put food on the table for the rest of your life.

Think about it.

Answer 3

Well, you are a little older than my aunt who ran away at the age of
12 to get married. She and her husband, who was about 18 at the
time, lived a long and loving life. The only person who was upset
was her mother, my grandmother. She never forgave the man
'stealing' her daughter.

You say you felt empty after camp, that's natural. You would feel
the same way if a favorite pet died. They are there constantly and
then all of a sudden they aren't. Don't worry about that feeling.
Something will always come along to fill up the void if YOU let it.

You seem sensible. I commend you on that. I see nothing wrong
in your relationship as it is. Keep it on an even keel as you are
doing. Don't let him or your own friends push you into something
you are not ready for, if it is meant to be, it will happen and you
will know beyond a doubt when the time is right. He may only
be thinking of 'now' while you may be thinking 'lifetime!' Be
cautious.

You might check around with some of the girls in his age group
(listen in on their conversations, i.e, eavesdrop.), see if he is
talking about you or about all the girls. You may be his 'special'
girl or you may be just one of many.
He's older, a little more experienced. He knows many of the right
things to 'say' to get what he wants. It wouldn't hurt to know
where you stand in the relationship. But don't just listen to him,
listen to what his friends say as well.

One piece of advice that has kept me good company since I
was a teenager: Don't listen to what someone tells you, watch
what they do. What they do is what they really believe. People
will not act contrary to what they believe deep down inside.
What they do will tell you where their values lie, and that doesn't
mean holding the door open for you or calling you on the
telephone!

Good luck and all the blessing that are mine to give, I give to you.

Answer 4

Slow down...you're way too worried. It's normal to feel what you are feeling but if the feelings were mutual & he wanted to pursue a relationship with he would tell you so. Be friends. Continue to get to know him..who is inside..his motives..his goals..his dreams. But understand your age difference is not socially acceptable. He would be arrested if you engaged in any acts of intimacy and he can never participate in any of your school activities while you're in high school, he been out of high school for two years and you're basically just getting started. You're developing a relationship in secret when you deserve to be in a relationship free from restriction.

Always remember a friendship is the most valuable thing you will have in your life because emotions change and relationships fall apart. There is no harm in waiting until you're 18 to consider love feelings or taking it further.

Answer 5

He could go to jail for hanging around you. A 20 y/o man with a 15 y/o girl is not a good idea. He's disturbed if he doesn't think it's wrong. You need to leave him alone. If you were 18 and he was 23, maybe not so bad but I think a five year difference between a 21 y/o female and a 26 y/o male is not as bad.

Answer 6

Someone his age being with someone your age is illegal. It's definitely not a good idea for a 20 year old to be with a 15 year old. There's way too much difference in life experience. If he was 30 and you were 25, then 5 years is not a big difference, but 15 & 20 is. You should probably give up the idea of being with him for two reasons. #1-He could go to jail. #2-It won't work, and you're going to wind up getting your heart broken. (Even if you WERE emotionally compatible, it CAN'T work, because of the difference in your age, and the fact that he could go to jail.)

Answer 7

Oh good lord almighty stop me now. You are 15 he is 20 what 20 yr old with the mental ability of a person society considers to be "normal" messes with a 15 yr old CHILD!! There is ALOT wrong with dealing with a pedophile and that is what he is if he is seeking out CHILDREN yes I said CHILDREN like yourself. You are so damn lucky you aren't my child because if a 20 yr old man even thought for half a damn second he'd be able to talk to you I'd rip his nuts off and feed them to the dog. No you should not let it go any further you are a minor he is an adult find someone your own age.

Answer 8

that age gap is makes a big difference, if you were 20 and he 25 then it would be fine... But at 20 he has so much more experience; it is a different world...
what you will learn in the time between 15 and 20 is a lot and dont get caught up in this puppy love thing...Its only camp who knows what he does when camp is over or better said who he does. get it? please keep it mutual.

Answer 9

He is too old for you, plain and simple. A 20 yr old man has no business dating a 15 yr old girl. While he may be cool and cute, his intentions are likely less than honorable. He knows he has the ability to dazzle a younger girl, so he may take advantage of it.

Stay away. Grow up 3-5 years and then start looking around for a husband -- NOT a lover.

Answer 10

Fifteen is rather young to be dating 5 years older. If possible, wait untill you're both over 18, and then see what happens. In the meantime, keep on good terms with him, make sure you don't lose contact with him. But then when you feel that you are mature enough to be in a relationship with him, by all means, go for it.