am an adult person, my teacher in university asked me to go out with him, i am still shoked, cause i respect him so much, and he is older thann me 20 years or so, i like him so much an i dont want to lose my teacher, what shall i do??
2006-12-19 08:31:45 · 36 answers · asked by zara 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As long as you're both adults there is no issue. Just decline his invitation politely and keep doing your work.
The only issue becomes if you are treated poorly in class because you turned him down... then it is time to get the school administration involved.
2006-12-19 08:34:02 · answer #1 · answered by Sir J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to go out with him? If you do, then its a lot more complicated but, from the sounds of things, you probably don't... otherewise shy be shocked?
If the only thing holding you back is the fact that he's your teacher, then tell him so. Tell him it puts you both in an awkward position and you don't want to do that. You respect him as a teacher too much (which sounds to be true!). It won't be long before you're off to a new class and that won't be an issue any more. He should be able to wait.
If the age thing is an issue, there's no waiting that can change that. Again... tell him! There's nothing wrong with feeling unattracted to someone based on age. It causes a lot of other conflicts since you both have radically different perspectives and interests.
If this man is as respectable as you seem to indicate, then he asked you knowing full well that these issues may exist and that they may stand in the way. He should understand if you tactfully decline.
At the same time, he felt enough interest in you to try and overcome them... There's something inherently romantic in that... but only if you're interested. Don't try to cook up interest where there isn't any. Unlike how it happens in the movies, it rarely works. As a matter of fact, it works so infrequently that its WORTH making movies about it where it does! If it happened and worked all the time, who'd watch that???
Good luck!
2006-12-19 08:40:39 · answer #2 · answered by gooniekim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like him and the feelings are really there, then try to talk to him away from the University. If you only see it as a bypass or an easy way to get a good grade then move on, is not worth him loosing your job or you being kicked out of that University. Think before you act, sometimes the consequences are nnOT worth it. What is priority right now, being with him or getting through school? Learn more about the real him. Does he have family did he ever have any family? What interest him -- make sure he is n ot married and is telling you otherwise. Here is this link www.zabasearch.com -- you can practically find anyone on it. Call his home to make sure no other lady answers. Do your homework first...... You could be one more on his list -- if your looking for fun and games and is worth the risk then go for it...
2006-12-19 08:38:45 · answer #3 · answered by rp12801280 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him thank you for being interested but you can't as long as you are his student. Tell him you have a concern that by dating, you will compromise your status in the classroom in front of the other students. Tell him you'll consider it after you have completed his classes. That should give you some time... once you no longer have him as a teacher it will be easier to say no. Unless of course you decide the 20 yrs isn't an issue.
The last thing you want to do when your grade is his hand is to make him angry.... so put off the no for now.
2006-12-19 08:39:31 · answer #4 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why did you not go straight to the college security office first? This is(and has been proven in court many times in the last few decades) an opening sign of harassment as well as someone going off the deep end! Kudos for your respecting you ELDERS, not to mention teachers, you did say the guy is 20 years older than you. He could and probably IS old enough to be father(age wise)!!!
2006-12-19 08:38:26 · answer #5 · answered by mangamaniaciam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U should have slapped him, but now just go on acting like u don't remember him asking the question as though u were recovering from a massive hangover on that day; then the next time he asks you slap him, or just tell him no and apologize, or u could say ur already dating someone it shouldn't be hard to find a guy to go along with it.
2006-12-19 08:40:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has gone over the line. He has an obligation to stay away from his students except in a professional manner, whether you are an adult or not, and he could lose his job if this gets out. Go out with him if you want, but remember that you must keep it quiet, if you do. If you don't want to go out with him, tell him no. If he persists, you'll have to report him to stop him.
2006-12-19 08:38:05 · answer #7 · answered by justwondering! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you have a personal rule never to date a proffessor until after the class has completed. If you really like him this approach would still work in your favor. This way if he is really into you he will have to fight a little bit to get a date. Personal rules are very respectful. They define that you have self control and you are consequence aware. Good luck!
2006-12-19 08:39:19 · answer #8 · answered by snowangel101224 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one, if you really like him and are an adult which u say u are, i would go for it, but i would wait until you are finished with his class, or consider transfering to another class just so he isn't your teacher anymore because that could end up being a conflict of interist....
2006-12-19 08:34:42 · answer #9 · answered by Justin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, there no longer something incorrect with asking your instructor approximately this... yet, do no longer ask your instructor a thank you to 'think of', because you recognize this... purely ask her what precisely is predicted in that area, and enable her understand which you're having a frustrating time with it... ask her 'Do you have any counsel which will help me improve in this area?'... stable success.
2016-10-18 12:14:09 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋