We are pretty close with my husband's cousin and his wife. They both work- my husband works and I am a stay-at-home-mom. On my son's 2nd birthday, they sent him a package loaded with presents- 4 complete outfits from expensive department stores, plus two shirts, and a huge pillow/stuffed animal in the shape of a frog. They had to have spent at least $200 on everything, not including shipping from east coast to west coast. (We didn't even spend that much on his presents.)
There is no way we could ever reciprocate something like that, and it really makes me feel bad. I tried telling them (politely) that we appreciate the thought, but they don't have to buy all this stuff. This Christmas, we sent their 13 month-old daughter a few bath toys, an outfit, a Leapfrog toy, and a book. It all cost under $50. I just got their package in the mail today with gift receipts. I know they spent a large amount again by looks of the toys and clothing (and the size of the box.) What can I do?
2006-12-19 08:31:34 · 19 answers · asked by punchy333 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't want to seem ungrateful. I know that they are just doing it because they are kind, but it just seems like they are over-doing it a bit.
2006-12-19 08:32:32 · update #1
I feel like the whole situation is a wheel, and our side of the wheel is lopsided, lacking, and flawed. Now the wheel doesn't run smoothly.
Please do not call me ungrateful. Being ungrateful means that you do not appreciate or give thanks towards a gift, which I *have* done and feel graditude for the gifts. I feel bad for their daughter because she's not recieving the same from us, when it seems her parents went out of their way for our children.
2006-12-19 09:22:04 · update #2
just keep doing what you are doing. If they have more $ than you they are making sure that your kids have some of the extras that might be harder to swing on one income.
You are reciprocating and the cost is unimportant. Enjoy the joy of giving to their little girl as they are enjoying giving to your little boy.
They are thrilled to share the love - don't try to stop them and don't try to keep up with them - it's okay. This is not a race.
2006-12-19 08:36:29 · answer #1 · answered by anirbas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure they don't expect you to reciprocate dollar for dollar. But if it bothers you that much just tell them, you appreciate them sending the gifts but it makes you feel a little uncomfortable since you can't do the same for his kids. If the gifts continue after they know, then they are just doing what they do because they can and don't expect the same in return.
Be thankful that they care enough to send something...a lot of familys aren't that close these days....
2006-12-19 08:46:19 · answer #2 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are doing it out of love, treasure the gifts. Don't feel obligated to reciprocate with equal cash value. Reciprocate the love. For example the wife works, good chance she has little time to bake beautiful holiday cookies. I'm sure you will come up with a successful gift giving plan if you rethink your gift giving strategy.
Peace :)
2006-12-19 08:42:03 · answer #3 · answered by rezany 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've told them you are uncomfortable because you cannot reciprocate and they continue to send the gifts, I think you should just send nice hand-written thank you notes and let them do it. People have different ways of expressing themselves and theirs is obviously through materialistic things. If you make them stop you are robbing them of their joy. It's the thought that counts, not the gift. You shouldn't try to compare what you can do versus what they can do. They are obviously in a much different situation than you are.
Happy holidays.
2006-12-19 08:38:23 · answer #4 · answered by THP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them spend what they want. Kids don't really understand what presents cost anyway. It sounds like you get more bang for your buck and it ends up about the same.
You shouldn't feel bad because you are a better shopper. Just thank them for the gifts and tell them how thoughful they are.
2006-12-19 09:01:33 · answer #5 · answered by darrellkern 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but if you've already broached the subject and they still wish to gift your children, I think anything further *would* be ungrateful.
If they are expecting anything at all in return, other than warm thank-yous, then they will stop. Otherwise, it's more your issue than theirs...you shouldn't keep either your children or your cousins from the joy of giving and receiving.
2006-12-19 08:37:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can send it USPS (Regular International Mail) with a Return Receipt Requested with a signature required upon arrival at your nephews. This way you will know it got your parcel. UPS & FedEx cost a minimum of $27.00 to Mexico.
2016-05-22 21:52:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guilt is making you ungracious.
You've made it clear that you don't have the funds to reciprocate and they still choose to be generous. There is nothing wrong with that. Simply remember that for them $200 is your equivalent of $50. Do your best and be happy with that.
And do NOT say anything to them about their generosity -- that is rude and makes you look like an ingrate.
2006-12-19 08:35:22 · answer #8 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just be grateful you have cousins are such generous people. They probably know that you are not in the same financial position as they are. I would give them the benefit of the doubt and thank them for their generosity. Giving is as much fun as receiving. You shouldn't feel embarrassed or bad when you give or receive gifts as long as the intention is good. :)
2006-12-19 08:37:16 · answer #9 · answered by thunder_dan2 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Accept the gifts and thank them. You and your husband have relatives that think the world of your kids. Don't let the monetary value bother you, it's the thought that counts.
2006-12-19 08:47:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋