partner cheating online how do i deal with it?

Question

Hi I met a guy online feb this year we started to each other and have continued since managing so far every month to see we also talk every single night on phone for quite long periods .I keep on repatedly fidning him on dating sights,gay ,straight,tvs,cds,tgs.etc.I have a way of finding this information out wont go into that here but I always find it out when hes joined them.This is tearing me apart,making me ill,he professes his love for me but im not a stupid kid how the hell can he if hes doing this to me id told him time after time after time how much this hurts me and that its deceitful,dishonest and I actually doubt his sexuality and that frightens me in case ive caught something from him.I also do not believe a word this man tells me simply because of all of the above,What i cant understand is hes so generous and stuff and when we are together its brill we get on fine .Its wearing me down bigtime and I really cannt take much more id like other opinions on this matter jazzy

Answer 1

OK, firstly, if you're worried, get yourself down the GUM clinic and get a check up -peace of mind for your body, that's essential.
Talk to him. confront him openly about what you've found out - OK, this is going to upset one of your lovely meetings when you usually get on so well, but you NEED to know where you stand, don't you... At the end of the day, this is him, whatever he does you need to understand and then work out whether the relationship is going to work for you. He has those needs, can you face it? Can you put up with it until he stops -if he ever does? Good luck, don't get hurt.

Answer 2

This might sound harsh but your saying your not a kid and your acting like a very stupid one.

Wake up and smell the bullsh*t!

This guy is a player, he's probably got a few other girls and maybe a few guys on the go, do you want to sleep with someone whose having sex with men?
My god woman, take a step back and take a look at what's happening as an outsider looking in.
He's lying through his teeth, you have a relationship based on nothing because it's all lies.
You get on great because that's what players do, they are well versed in telling you what you want to hear, saying the right things at the right time, it's like a game to them, they practise all the time.

Walk away, just walk away.

Answer 3

Uhm, ok. There really isnt much to debate here, you should break it off with him if it is bothering you that much . It could be that he is simply addicted to dating sights or maybe he is gay and in denial. Either way, you should never allow yourself to get physically ill over someone else you are involved with. If you have a problem with something he does and he wont change you need to move on. Not to belittle the situation with a cliche but there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Answer 4

I really feel that you would be much better off letting him go. Esp as he knows how much you finding him on these other sites is hurting you and yet he carries on. It doesn't always matter how much a person tells you that they love you; actions speak louder than words and deceit isnt acceptable in any sort of relationship. If you cant trust him, you can't be with him especially as its making you feel ill. I'd dump him fast if I were you and steer clear from internet dating of any kind. Trust me, its caused me no end of grief over the years!

Answer 5

so think of yourself first and dump him. ive been with my fiance for 3 1/2 years. hes my childhood sweetheart and i love him with all my heart. i forget all the good times we have and get frustrated that we're getting nowhere. we're getting married soon and hes the one im meant to be with. we have our times but it gets better. you never see the bad times in a picture book.
think of being able to have a guy tell you he loves you and mean it. or give you something you never thought he could give you. letting you try for what you want when you know its not really what he wanted. there are SOOOO many guys out there that could be the man of your dreams. if hes not making you happy look somewhere else. he doesnt matter anymore. i know you love him but i believe theres 1 person out there meant for someone and you havnt found him yet. trust me you'll know when you do.

Answer 6

My parner did a similar thing to me, finding out what places i'd been online etc, but it turned out to be someone who had 'cloned' my addy, i wasn't best pleased about it and neither was she, we're still together and very, very happy, take all things into account before you do the final accusation, it can and from 1st hand knowledge create a hell of a lot of bad feeling, hope things work out for you :)

Answer 7

How do you deal with it? Well, from your question its plain to see that your gonna be with him despite the bs. How to deal depends on your charater. I say drop him, others may join similar sites for a wake up call, or even hook up with someone else. If you not gonna drop him, confront him with it. Join the same sites he frequents and hit him up for a date. See how far he will take the cheating. Then nail him

Answer 8

You aren't happy with him, I can tell, and in the long run you won't be happy at all unless he cleans up his act. If you truly love each other, then keep going, but if you find his actions inhibiting your relationship from being happy-ever-after, then "take a break" from him and move on.

Answer 9

I think you've answered your own question. You are miserable, it makes you sick, you don't trust him at all, you know he lies etc. Sometimes it's hard to admit to ourselves we've made a mistake but deep inside you know what you should do without any advise from us. Take a deep breath, and go for it. At first it will be hard but there's someone else out there better for you. Love shouldn't make you sick it should make you happy.

Answer 10

Stop reading his email. You'll just start imagining and seeing things that aren't actually there every time he signs up for a new site. No harm in window shopping!