i have this problem in relationships?

Question

i love men and some day i really want to get married and have kids. I'm 22 and whenever i know a guy is interested in me, all i ever do is tease the hell out of him and the second he tells me how he feels about me and says the "L" word i run and never speak to them. i do this and i'm afraid i might ruin something really special someday. My dad died when i 13 and dating was not really important to me. Deep down inside i crave all these romatic times but when i get what i want i run. i'm just wondering if my dad dying when i was young has something to do with the way i act.

i'm sure i sound like a real *****, but i really want to be able to solve this and be able to get close to someone. i have thought about talking to a psych, but i don't have the money.

Answer 1

Yes! on all fronts you are displaying the traits of a child that fears the lost of a loveone and you need to get professional help! Question do you have a nice line of employment if so ask if your insurance covers you going to see a psych, and if not does the insurance discount the office vist also inform the male friends from the start that they are not allowed to use the L*** word for a certain length of time like 2 years unless you use it first if they can't live with that then they aren't worth it anyway no matter how how the spot or male hmm gets like start setting goals for yourself like if we last one year then we do this or that and if we last two years then maybe we might look into this becoming a permament ride but do not allow them to use the L*** for a long period of time that is if you value your honeypot and last but not lease take the e hormoney true love test and require the guy that you are seeing to take it and print it out and then compare it with your print out and you wont be far off from choosing a mate as far as the runinning part you are 22 and most likey are living on your own and if you dont want to end an old maid (nothing wrong with it nuns do it all the time, but some still cheat and get some some every now and then ) you better face the facts and stop running if the guy slips up and said it premature then dont you run send him home and tell him you will call him tomorrow and then brew over it (I compared my list, he made a mistake once I'' forgive him this time and give him a warning) "If it happens again we are thu but dont you run ok GOD BLESS SUGARCANE AND THE BEST OF LIFE TO YOU FROM LEX KY KASHLUV

Answer 2

You are only 22 so don't feel like you need to rush. When you meet a guy that puts you completely at ease or sees through your teasing THEN you should be willing to relax and put your issues out on the table. Everyone has issues and when you meet the right person you realize that you don't care if they know yours. In the mean time enjoy being single and just take small steps to feeling more comfortable. All a shrink is going to tell you is that it takes work to overcome these things and you already know that.

Answer 3

You probably fear losing the love so much, you run.
The loss of your Daddy could be a factor in this fear.
You can find help and you can get past this.
At 22 you have time. Take the time and find out what your fears are. I feel for you and I'm sorry about the loss of your Daddy.
I hope it gets better for you.

Answer 4

You are not alone, dear. There are quite a few people that have this same fear of commitment. "Maybe there's someone better out there for me..." etc. You have realized that this self-defeatiing attitude may not be the best for long term relationship development, but just understanding that this is something you do is a great start.

Answer 5

you're still young and learning about what you want and it's possible that you don't want to get that close to anyone because you fear that they're going to leave you like your father did (abandonment issues). but still you do have needs and perhaps if you found someone that you could communicate these things to, perhaps you could have a relationship that wasn't rushed and that you could feel comfortable with.

the alternate thing for you to do would be to surround yourself with friends until you feel ready to trust yourself and someone else to be in a long term loving relationship.

Answer 6

Hte real prb is, is that u lost ur dad n u dnt kno how to love the man that loves u so u run. but dnt be afraid to say u love him juz come out n say it dnt struggle. so the next time juz try n say it n if tht dont work juz tell how u feel n whats real.

Answer 7

Have YOU ever loved someone? Maybe you just haven't met someone who you felt that "spark" with yet? You are a bit young, but if you want to get counseling, there are plenty of free groups that you could join.

Answer 8

you can find a lower priced counselor/psych..but, you're right.. it does need to end before you destroy something great.
i understand your need to run, and your ability to push intimacy and closeness right out the door and it's a really hard habit to stop when you've been doing it so long..but you need to work on it.
talk to someone about all of your "inner mushy" stuff..and start working it all out. when you realize you are doing these actions look at yourself in the mirror and snap yourself out of it..

Answer 9

regrettably that's not suitable what you would be able to perceive to be a foul mistake for her. until she realizes this herself, and admits it to herself that he's "no sturdy" for her than there somewhat isn't plenty you're able to do different than be for her whilst she desires a pal to talk to. once you like somebody and that they are with or dating somebody else this is basic to assert that they are no longer maximum surprising for her because of the fact to you, your the only one that is. consistent with danger there are issues approximately her dating with that guy which you don't be conscious or be attentive to something approximately so that's unfair which you would be able to assert that he's not any sturdy for her except of direction you have witnessed some thing or have evidence that he somewhat is that this poor guy or woman. i could stay out of it except you sense her protection is in threat then i could tell her what you be attentive to and tell her you would be there for her if she desires you. i does no longer difficulty getting into your very own thoughts in direction of her as which will in basic terms confuse her and the situation. sturdy success!

Answer 10

is there unresolved tension between you and your father? if so, thats probably it. if not, most likely just relationship issues. most people usually run once they get what they want because they fear reality itself, even if they grew up in a full family.