How can i get past this?

Question

So i asked the guy i really like out and he told me he was not ready for another relationship so soon after the break up of his last one.
The problem is i have to see this guy everyday and its killing me because we are still friends but i cant seem to get past this. I cant just turn the feelings off that i have for him and im scared if i keep seeing him my feelings are just going to get worse and im going to go crazy because i know i cant have him but i cant seem to think of anything else but him at the moment.
Any good advice out there??

Answer 1

I can understand where you are coming from... He is taken, you like him, you wait, and finally you get your chance and the timing is all off...
Sure your feelings are there,you can't just turn them off and on.But if you are feeling this crazy about it,it may be best if you did not see him right away all the time everyday,as your anxiety knowing he knows will over come you and you will tend to come on strong and chase him away.Just live your life the way you have and when you are with him enjoy it and keep as it was before.This way you are showing you understand and he will see you respect him.Let time pass and let him have his space and maybe find away to bring it up again later down the road,see what he says then as he did not blow you off completely he just said he was not ready.
This thing you are going through right now about i need to see him,I must see him... is temporary...We all to go through it.It is called mind over matter.We tend to want what we cant have.
And even if in the long run you do not get him,there are plenty more out there at least you will always have your friendship...so in a way you are not losing anything.
Good Luck

Answer 2

Holy Smokes! Stop evaluating this guy like he has the same emotions as a woman!
The fact of the matter is,,,,,,,He is a guy and guys simply don't have the deep emotional crisis issues that women have.
Men think and evaluate things on a totally different level than women do.
Yes, he probably still dealing with some memories from his previous relationship maybe even hopes of getting back together with her but it would not be that difficult for you to get his mind completely off of that permanently.
If you really want this guy then find an excuse to get him drunk and have sex with him for starters. By the way, men can't refuse that like women can so it gives you an overwhelming advantage.
Then make him understand that you do not expect a relationship at this time and you just want to have fun being his friend.
If you do that then you will have your relationship sooner than you think because guys simply can't maintain a friendship only relationship with women. (unless they are gay)
Our genetic code does not permit us to do that.
But if you wait too long, and don't fill the void in his life some other girl will move in on him and take advantage.
He is a guy so who knows how guys think better that other guys do?
Well,,,,, unless he is Gay.
Then that is a problem, LOL!

Answer 3

Ok I was in this same position three days ago. This guy said he was trying to get over his ex and he wasn't really looking for a relationship that he was confortable with his life and what not. I understood and everything but yet my feelings for him started to grow. I kept telling him how I felt and he just kept saying the same excuse. So the other day I couldn't take it no more. No one should have to force another to like/love them so I told him I couldn't be his friend because my emotions are stronger then that. It hurt like hell but their will be others that will actually want me so i'm not speaking to him no more. Maybe you should take a break from this guy and try to get your feelings under control. Let yourself get stronger. good luck.

Answer 4

You need to learn to differentiate between what you feel and what you do.

You have very strong feelings for this guy. That's fine. Your feelings are in your head, where they're not bothering anybody.

What you DO is something else entirely.

Look, this guy has totally rejected you. He's not going to change his mind. They never do.

So when you're with him you MUST behave as if it's not a problem.

Believe it or not, you will find that if you start behaving as if it's not a problem, you will start feeling as if it's not a problem.

I know this is hard for you. I know you're young and feel as if the world is ending because he doesn't return your feelings.

But this will pass. Everything does. Believe me.

Answer 5

This one's easy.

You've planted a seed in his brain. He's not about to stop thinking about this. Even if he does, that's a sign you've dodged a bullet. You certainly don't want to chase after someone who doesn't want to be chased after.

So, what you do is the following: You show a friendly but aloof front. You don't do or say anything that is in your heart. Let him think you are over whatever it was that made you approach him. He will be relieved that the pressure's off or he will wonder if he is still someone you're interested in.

Either way, you win, since you certainly don't want to be chasing someone who isn't interested in being chased.

Answer 6

He is being honest with you...and thats a plus. He isn't over his ex....he doesn't want to get into a relationship with you, simply because he still has feelings for the other girl. In fact he is doing you a favour and saving your heart from breaking .

Find someone else...I know its hard....but seriously you guys wont work out.

Answer 7

Well, how soon did you ask him?
This will givw you a bit of hope though....

If a guy goes out with a girl, dumps her and goes out with another girl two days later he and the new girl dont look good, it can ruin their reps.
Im saying he said no to PROTECT you.

Just laugh, be normal, play it cool. Change a feature so he notices, and talk to him more about anything except about relationships.
Good luck!

Answer 8

Yes - don't push it or you will push him away. You don't want to appear desperate so respect or at least accept the way he is feeling right now and keep your conversations lighthearted. He has told you how he feels and you need to respect that - I know its hard but you need to give him some space. Not everyone you fancy will feel the same way about you - sometimes its nicer to be just friends. There's no harm in fantasizing though but keep it to yourself!

Answer 9

Hang on... He's not ready yet doesn't mean you can't have him, ever! Be his friend, control your hormones for a bit, get close to him in a 'non-threatening way' -for him. Not easy as you obviously just want to jump on him, but you'll just have to ACT; it's only for a bit... He will get over his previous girlfriend so you don't want to miss it when that happens. The only way is to BE close, but as a friend. Once he sees you as a friend, he'll drop his guard and hey presto you put the charm on!

Answer 10

Try to think of somebody else. Relax a bit there girl. Let him cool down a bit also. You guys are still friends. Go hang out with him & have a fun time. It won't hurt him to go out with you.