My 15 mo. old son have major hissy fits when he gets upset, how to reason with him when he can't talk?

Question

If the smallest thing dosent' work, like his blocks fall or he can't open the toy box, he freaks out, not for long but it is upsetting to me because most of the time he throws him self down or throws something and has hurt himself more than once doing this. I try and stay calm and talk to him about how it's ok just try it again and things like that but he is just a baby he dosen't speak english so how do i get him to relax and try again before he has a melt down?

Answer 1

The first mistake I see many parent make with their children is reacting to temper tantrums or hissy fits or the kid being upset. I'll give you an example: last Sunday, at church, I was in the balcony waiting for people to finish visiting and go home after the final service. I'm the guy that locks up and shuts down lights/thermostats for my church. So I'm in the balcony just kinda watching people and listening to some of the conversations when this 2-3yo falls down a couple steps on one of the staircases. I heard the thud and glanced that direction, also noticing the overreaction from many of the parents that were there.

The kid had started to get back on his feet. There was no blood. He was ambulatory, meaning he was walking again. Then he looked into his mom's eyes.

Bad poker face: she had that overly concerned mother look. If you are clueless as to what I'm talking about sit back and watch other moms. So the kid, recognizing this body language, immediately turned on the water works and the whine factory.

Then other moms, started heading that way. It's all a manipulation and moms tend to perpetuate this nonsense by overreacting. All said, I would recommend you ignore him a little when he's being manipulative because that's all hissy fits really boil down to.

Another tactic you might consider is changing the environment (by going outside and taking a short walk). Physical activity and a change of scenery and pace might do the kid some good.

If he hurts himself, play nurse, but talk less if at all while you let him absorb the pain he has inflicted upon himself. Let him learn from his mistakes. My supposition is: that if he's smart enough to manipulate you at 15 monthes then he's smart enough to learn from his mistakes.

At some point express your frustration, in an appropriate way, with him having these hissy fits. You must send him a message that this type of behavior is unnacceptable and you simply are intolerant of it. Begin with rolling your eyes. He understands body language. Let him read you.

I've seen adults, very effectively, show a child how ridiculous a hissy fit is by pretending to have one of their own...acting out/mirroring the child's while they're going through theirs. If this continues maybe you should have your own hissy fit at some point. Sounds ridiculous but very effective.

If you fail to control this issue now it will only get worse as he ages. By age 12 he'll be a boy I would consider for military school if on this same course.

Bottom line: if you're tactics are failing try something else. Talk with enough people about this problem and build your arsenal to defeat the problem.

Final words: let him go ahead and express himself. That's what he's essentially doing. If you try to constrain him from these blow ups it may backfire creating another problem much worse.

As he gets older physical exercise options will really help. Right now the biggest tool I can see, to help you, is employing your body language to send him a message that this is ridiculous. Turn on some music.

Answer 2

Honey, you cannot reason with a baby that age. This is the time to teach him words and behavior that match how he feels. When he throws a tantrum, pick him up and say "you are frustrated!" Take him to a quiet corner, a playpen or his crib - choose someplace safe with soft edges to prevent him from hurting himself. Tell him "you're safe here" as you put him down. You are effectively removing him from the source of his frustration. Some people call this a Time Out. This is discipline, NOT punishment - it is simply a way of managing his intese feelings.
By repeating this consistenty every time he gets frustrated, he will learn to associate the word with his feelings. In addition, he will learn that throwing objects is not tolerated, throwing himself in the floor is not tolerated and that you will help him get to a safe place when his feelings are out of control.
Good luck to you !

Answer 3

Hard to reason with a child that young. Alot of the times they are looking for attention. He gets that from you if he has a fit. Try "not noticing" the next time he does. Of course, if he injures himself you have to do something, but don't acknowledge the fit.

Answer 4

Kids that age don't yet have a coping mechanism for when something frustrates them. He will eventually grow out of it - my 2 yr old still does it occasional if she's tired. I usually pick her up and rock her. I hum and hold her tight because she usually does not want to be picked up at that moment. It takes a couple of minutes but it usually does the trick.

Answer 5

Nothing a large zip lock baggie wouldn't fix.
Sorry, wierd mood today...

He's doing that for your attention. Don't give it to him. If he throws a fit and hits a chair, guess what, he'll learn not to do that. Just because he doesn't SPEAK english, doesn't mean he's unable to understand it. Talk to him in a clear voice and don't forget that he's still learning.

Answer 6

Honestly I found when my 15 month old did that. I would just ignore her and walk away. Once they get the point that it isn't something you are going to pay attention to they will wise up and quit.

Answer 7

Terrible two's have started early! He is just getting frusterated because he is trying to do something he isn't co-ordinated enough to do. If you see he is having trouble, either ask him if you can help or distract him with something else.

Answer 8

you can't...children learn by consistency / repetitions / etc. After he calms down...help him open / pick back up...whatever it is and just tell him...it's ok!