I've been dating my bf for over two years now (off and on). He gets me so excited and before you know it-- it's over. This is such a turn-off to me. He claims that he can not help (can't control it). He asked to marry me last week and I said NO .. YES, his bad sex is the main reason. I refuse to spend a lifetime having 1 minute sex. HELP!! Any suggestions or advice?
2006-12-19 07:29:37 · 18 answers · asked by phillylady4u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I use to be with a guy that had a similar condition (I wouldn't call it a "problem" per say).
Men tend to be very visual and their penis is extremely sensitive, if you are very attractive and or he finds you to be so and is really in love with you or has strong feelings for you this can occur.
Sex shops can work out for the two of (you would NEED to go together) but is not the core way to change the situation.
The way to reduce the occurance is to SLOW things up a bit, don't just be in the mood for sex and have him "dive" right into you. FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY is what will help.
Have him find the excitement, thrill and sexuality of having him turn you on. Have him spend more time making out with you for a longer period of time, having him caress your body and indulging in every nook and cranny of you. Have him fondle your breasts while going down on you, spice things up with candle light ONLY.
When he does make the move to enter you, have him stay inside of you for a shorter period of time (stop and go) meaning, have him enter you, pump for a moment with slow penetrating movements and then have him slowly remove himself from you and go back to kissing, fondelling you and the like, then have him enter you again.
Be sure that there are moments when he's just simply inside of you but not actually pumping you, just simply lying still while the two of you enjoy that aspect alone (he will enjoy being with you just for the fact of it alone and you will enjoy it for the same reasons).
Be sure that he and you try to accomplish your coming to an orgasm first and let him SEE how much you enjoyed it and show him in some seductive and sexual way that you are very satisfied and thankful for him bringing you to orgasm (this will be a great boost to his ego and pride) then when he orgasms it will be more of an accopmplishment and mutual fulfillment for BOTH of you.
Also, spruce things up by having him orgasm on different areas of your body (instead of just inside of you... if you are using birth control) such as your breasts, buttocks and hell... even... your feet (I actually get a kick out that and find MYSELF turned on by it)!
You can also try mutually masterbating one another at times and one thing that could really help him to endure longer staying power would be to let him masterbate more frequently (sometimes even a few hours before the two of you engage in having sex). This will help him to develop more control and pace his orgasms.
If you are only having sex once, twice, or three times a month then his not getting enough from you could be a problem to consider as he will be extremely excited to get into you due to the long waiting periods of not getting you and will orgasm much more quickly than if he was getting it on a more frequent basis. The only thing you will have to be careful of if you go this route is not wanting him to kind of get tired or bored of sex with you and thats something that only you would be able to change if it happen by keeping things spicy, exciting, different, spontaneous and the like.
Hope that helps you. My only problem is that my BF isn't open to having anal sex.. but I'm working on it with him.
Having great sex should NOT be your main reason for not marrying him if he's a great guy, loves you and is good to you, however, it should be a concern and the tidbits I have given you if you and him work on them TOGETHER should go along way, as I said, I was once in a similiar situation with a guy so I am speaking from experience.
L8R... http://profiles.yahoo.com/mindysweet1
2006-12-19 10:07:49 · answer #1 · answered by Mindy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-12-20 02:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you turn him on so much that he looses control when you two get down...And at least be glad of a no wear and tear kitty kat. If he isn't doing such a great job take him to an adult store with you and buy a little extra help for you (pocket rocket) and you both can play with it ,on you only of course.....If that doesn't work I'm sorry.
2006-12-19 07:36:46 · answer #3 · answered by cOMpLiCaTeD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him pleasure u first, that way if he does last ony a couple minutes, at least u got off. You can also go a the sex shops and there is a gel they have to de-stimulize ur bf. Meaning when he is erect, u'd put this right under his head and it'll make him feel less, meaning he'll have the chance to last longer. My bf and I use all sorts of things for fun, and we noticed that when he uses coke, he releases quickly when usually we can go for about 25 - 30 minutes. You should try it!
2006-12-19 07:35:18 · answer #4 · answered by I Love Pink! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you've been with this guy for two years
you have obviously talked to him about the problem
you should buy a book that will teach a man how to last longer and give it to him
if he gets mad and refuses to try it then my advice is break off the relationship
sex isn't everything that a relationship should be about but if you are with someone who is unwilling to satisfy you in the bedroom then marriage is a very bad option for you
2006-12-19 07:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by Josephus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are too hot, but most likely it is just a guy thing. Some guys are that way. And no matter what any one says, sex IS a big deal in a relationship. Find the right guy for you.
2006-12-19 07:34:04 · answer #6 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, a friend of mine has been married for years with a man with the same issue. She has worked with him to get herself satisfied first (and she claims multiple times) before he's allowed to get close. Also, she mentioned something about some de-sensitizing cream that is supposed to help. If you love him, work with him if you can.
2006-12-19 07:33:36 · answer #7 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well think of this way. If it's over in 2 minutes think of all the extra time you'll have to clean the house, cook and do laundry. Kick him to the curb or help him get over his issue.
2006-12-19 07:38:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you must be hot.take it as a compliment.
or get him ready for round 2
leave the TV on and have him listen to whatever game is on at the time.As soon as some guys realize whats going on its over.
2006-12-19 07:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by soulburner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2
2017-03-08 20:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋