Anybody got some good Confucius sayings for me?

Question

Confucius- sayings and/or Jokes....anythings welcome..

Answer 1

Man who stands on toilet, gets high on pot
women who rides bike, peddles her a** around town
man who go to bed with itchy butt, wakes up with stinky finger.
man who go through airport turnstile sideways, going to Bangcock.
man with hole in his pocket, feel cocky all day.

Answer 2

Confucius say "He who make love on ground have Piece On Earth".

Answer 3

A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.

Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles.

It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.

The superior man is distressed by the limitations of his ability; he is not distressed by the fact that men do not recognize the ability that he has.

To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.

Answer 4

Confucius say "Duck who flies upside down - is quacked up!"

Answer 5

Confucious say, "Luck happy combination of foolish incidents."

"Useless to sprinkle salt on tail of time."

"Nut easy to crack often empty."

"Silence big sister of wisdom."

"Man cannot avoid destiny."

"Man without enemys like dog without fleas."

Answer 6

I got a hundred of 'em

http://mapage.noos.fr/matushansky/confucius.html

Answer 7

THE GOLDEN RULE

"don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you"