I have seen and been around so terrible ill manored kids over the years. I have a 5 year old with a stay at home mom. Never been in day care. In my opinion the recent decline in childerens disiple is directly related to moms in the work place. Especially when some of those moms don't care how their kids are raised. Of course there are some that are just to worn out at the end of the day to put their all into mothering. I am a firm beleiver if you leave it up tp other people to raise your kids they just aren't going to do the job most of us parent would for our own kids raising.
2006-12-19 07:13:42 · 27 answers · asked by two_play_alone 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
AMEN!! I am a stay at home mom, and my kids are well behaved. When my son comes back from his gmas he acts like the biggest brat in the world cause she absolutley does not care what he does at her house., but he quickly gets back into minding because he knows better then to act like that at my house. When I am there with him I dont let her let him do whatever he wants and that drives her nuts, but he is my kid and will do as I say, and thats what makes him a good boy.
2006-12-19 07:22:28 · answer #1 · answered by hotmoma_37 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think that it is the parents' fault if a kid turns out to be a brat, but I don't think it has anything to do with mothers working. There has always been a large number of mothers who work, going back through the decades, no matter what you've been taught otherwise. There's a tendency to think that in the 40s and 50s or whatever that a lot of moms stayed home, and the reality is that the ratio was about the same as it is today.
I think there are good parents and there are bad parents. Bad parents raise bad kids, that's all there is to it. Whether or not a mother works does not determine if she's a good mother or a bad mother. My mom worked and we all turned out to be very good people. It's just a matter of how much authority a mother imposes on her kids. A mother has to lay down the law and be firm. I think it's that more parents today are willing to surrender to a temper tantrum and give their kids whatever they want. It's a lack of respect in kids. They need to be taught to respect other people and respect the world they live in.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a noble choice, but it does not guarantee that you'll have good kids, trust me. I've known plenty of bad kids with stay-at-home moms.
2006-12-19 07:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a full time working mother and have wonderful children! My 16 year old thinks more about others than he does himself...my 12 almost 13 year old is in all honors classes and helps out around the house...at Grandma's etc...without being asked...a 5 year old FOSTER CHILD who has been in the system since birth and has more of a since of what life should be like, then most children who's parents think it's cool to buy them ice cream / candy / presents...ect at the drop of a hat! Although I am sorry for the working parents that you have encountered, how can you justify or have the opinion of without researching other parents than the mindless parents you have encountered. Although, some of your point does have some impact, but I can truly say that your opinion is closed minded as there are some great parents in the world...me included. As I am glad that you can be a stay at home mommy, and in no way am I trying to be a thorn in your side...I just believe that your opinion is a little one sided...as I know many foster parents with children much worse than what you are describing who are adopting these wonders of life and care very deeply for them...and although they must work for a living...put every effort into whatever part they can take part in in raising their children!
No hard feelings
2006-12-19 07:26:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not every woman has the joy of being a stay at home mother. I didn't make the choice to be a single mom, he decided he didn't want to be a dad and left. I had to work or we didn't eat nor did we have a place to live. My son (who is 5, doing very well in school and was watched by his great aunt starting at 6 weeks old) is FAR from out of control, every kid has his or her moments. Things are a lot different now then they were 30 years ago. Women HAVE to work, very few families can survive on one income. I have a degree but I also have student loans to get that degree, credit card bills I'm still paying because my ex left me with them. Lucky for your child to be at a disadvantage of not socializing with other children and can stay home all day with mommy. Good for them.
I have come across more children that were brats because they spent all day with mommy then other children than brats that were in day care.
And why is it the mother's fault? Why shouldn't the dad be just as to blame? If he was making more money then mom wouldn't have to work now would she?
2006-12-19 07:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the exact reason why I have no children! I believe that at least one of the parents should raise the child. If you have to both work full time, what is the point in having children? Just so someone else can raise them?
I agree that the kids should interact with other people, but most of the time should be spent with its parent, not daycare.
I would consider having children if I only had to work part time, that way I would be doing most of the rearing, not someone else.
My mother stayed at home with us until I was 10. Then she got a part time job. I'm the youngest of 4 and let me tell you, none of us have ever been in bad trouble. In fact my oldest brother is a Police Officer.
I don't want to bash anyone for putting thier children into daycare. I have personally made my decision and am sticking to it. People tell me I will regret not having children, but I would rather not have them at all instead of getting someone to raise them for me.
2006-12-19 07:28:47 · answer #5 · answered by moobiemuffin 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I personally don't thhink it has to do with mom's working. It comes from parenting STYLES. Some parents are just more lax than others or don't know how to handle their kids. Do we all receive parenting classes the minute we conceive? No. Sometimes it is just trial and error. Hopefully not too much error.
Many parents just have no choice about working. I am one of those, but I am lucky enough to have a mother in law take care of my baby while I am away (and also my older boys).
On a side note, why can't it be the father who stays at home? You mention mothers... but there are two parents in the picture. :)
2006-12-19 07:22:44 · answer #6 · answered by Mindy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this problem is between working moms and stay at home moms. Some people just raise their children differently. Both my parents worked but i would always have manners who ever I was with. I knew better. Its not like my folks spent their time after work with me. They just taught me manners as I went along. I am pregnant with my first and am in the military. I plan on putting my child in childcare, but I also am not going to tolerate misbehavior. Its the way parents discipline. Not if the kids are in childcare or not.
2006-12-19 07:23:30 · answer #7 · answered by Jamie C 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I disagree.
My mom was home with us growing up. She stayed home until I was about eleven or so and then she went and worked part time. So I do believe a stay at home mom is an ideal situation.
However, I see plenty of kids with working moms that behave wonderfully. And then I see kids with stay at home moms that are complete hellions! It's about how children are raised when they are in the company of their parents. I see parents in restaurants with kids that are acting horribly. The parents do nothing about it. The parents take their 5 year old kids out to dinner at 9pm on a Friday night. THEY SHOULD BE IN BED AT 9PM! that's just poor parenting. Those are parents that don't want to change their lifestyle and eat at home at a decent hour for the sake of the kids. That has nothing to do with day care, babysitters, etc.
Part of the problem? Parents don't take enough time to enjoy their families. Rarely is dinner enjoyed together at the table. Rarely are kids playing board games with their parents, they are on the computer or watching TV or playing video games. I think those issues are big contributors to bad behavior in children.
I think it all comes down to parents being responsible with their children. Day care can be extremely beneficial for children. It teaches them skills, socializing, etc. Is it ideal? Maybe not. But the time that a parent spends with their children at night and on the weekends should be time enough to teach them manners and good behavior.
2006-12-19 07:21:41 · answer #8 · answered by PT&L 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I completely disagree- I am a working mother, always have been, and when ever I take my 5, yes 5, kids anywhere, people are always complimenting me on how well they behave. I think the problem is, and I could be wrong, with our generation I have noticed for some reason we seemed to have been abused more then other generations, (possably to do with the drugs of the 70-80s) so most of the people I know swear they won't be like their parents, so they don't believe in spankings of any kind. I on the other hand...was one of the abused kids, but I also know spankings are OK as long as you do it correctly.
2006-12-19 07:53:43 · answer #9 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am a working mother and I totally disagree with you. My daughter is 9 years old and has been going to day care since she was 6 wks old (While I wish I could be a stay at home mom, I cant due to financial reasons and now being a single mom). She is so well behaved and well mannered. I have seen just as many terrible ill mannered kids from stay at home moms that I do from those who have a mom who has to work to put food on their table. The moms who are luckily enough to be able to stay home with their kids shouldnt look down on those that have to work.
2006-12-19 07:22:26 · answer #10 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't think daycare has anything to do with it..I think it is environment( home, etc) and morals and actions of those around them. I have always worked...just became a stay at home mom in April and want to go back to work part time. I was always VERY choosy when I was looking for daycare..I interviewed, interviewed interviewed, called references, etc. My children are 13, 10 and 5 and are all very well mannered and really good kids. They have been involved in Children's ministry at church and have always been taught values, morals, etc. I always looked for caregivers with the same morals as I. I think there are just people out there that are rude, mean, selfish, etc. They are just either too messed up themselves, into drugs or just too plain busy to care what their kids are doing, etc. It wouldn't matter if those kids were home with those parents all day everyday, they would pick up their actions and values by the people that they are around.
JMHO
2006-12-19 07:22:14 · answer #11 · answered by PennyPickles17 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋