My niece is 17.she always say that she is ugly and fat.?

Question

she is not ugly and fat but she is hopless.i dont know what to do.i try to talk to her but she is angry about herself.she is a good student in the school and has many tallents but she feels just about her face and her apperance.

Answer 1

Between us :):
Mardome iran hamishe etemade be nafse khoobi nadarand. Tanha solution baraye moshghele shoma ine ke cousin'etoon bayad beoon "image" i ke mikhad berese. Aghar shoma bekhaahid tarze tafakoresh raa taghir bedahid, shoma movafagh nakhaid bood, baraye inke az tajrobeye khodam , man be-in natije residam ke farhange irani ba vogood in ke kheily aliiye[great] , valii kheily "perfectionist" hast. Dar natije behatre behesh komak bokonid be "image ideal" khodesh beres. Saai kardan baraye taghire "self image" khodesh , komak nemikone.

Generally speaking, an individual's self image is the result of cultural and familial projections and criteria of what is good and what is not. I don't particularly blame your cousin; she probably compares herself to an anorexic, western-media projected image of a beautiful woman which is far from what anybody on average looks like.
Now, you have two choices: One is to try to do the old fashioned thing which is try to talk to her and get her to realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder (and possibly fail to do) , or you can recognize her concerns (and her teen mentality) and tell her that although she might not be perfect or although she might be fat (accept it even if it is her thinking only), there are still ways that can reverse this effect and make her "pretty" again (notice the quotations to stress that beauty is optional not universal); if you proceede in concurd with her personal worries (by which I mean recognize them no matter how trivial they sound to you) she then would trust you and you would no longer be a preacher but a an effective ally of her whom she is willing to listen to. She will then ask you for solutions which means then you have the power to do what you would have done before in the preacher mode but no modified and of course listend to bey her. For instance give her a stricter diet with supplement vitamin pills, get her to get involved in gyms or activies, or even take her to a doctor for a nose surgery, or even a lip suction or watever non threatening procedure that she might find suitable.

You can also do what my dad and mom did :D. Ignore it till she grows out of it.

All good choices.

Answer 2

If she already thinks that you can not make her feel better about her self unfortunately. My Mom believes the same thing, even when she was really thin, like only 100lbs she didn't think she was pretty. I always thought my Mom was beautiful and she still is even with a bit of weight gain. But no matter how many times I tell my Mom she isn't fat or ugly it doesn't really make her believe it or make her feel better. Although a while back she saw a pic of her when shew as thin and she said "Wow I look hot, but back then I didn't think so"

I also think the same thing about my self, I don't think I'm "fat" but I do think I'm not thin. I don't think I'm "ugly" but I don't think I'm pretty or attractive, as far I go is "cute".
And nothing that anyone says to me makes me feel better.

I think a lot of girls and women think they are fat and ugly.
Unfortunately not every girl can see that they are beautiful just the way they are.

Answer 3

actually you can make her feel better. it sounds like she has low self-esteem but no motivation to improve.

talk is cheap. you can talk her ear off about how she's wonderful and a beautiful person, and it won't matter a whit. what she really needs to boost her self-esteem is action.

drag her out and go running together. get her a membership at the local gym. push her to go get a pedicure, or a new hairstyle. go shopping for makeup. make an appointment to take glamour photos.

all of these activities seem really shallow, and you might think 'well that is just telling her that she IS ugly and fat!". well, in her mind, she is. doing this stuff will raise her level of confidence, though, and that is what's wrong with her. if you help her to change her lifestyle, soon her attitude will change and her appearance will change also.

when i was in high school, i was "your niece". i was overweight and had massive self-esteem problems. the person who took me aside was not a member of my family but my gym coach. he started me on weights, a regimented diet, took me running before and after school, and pushed me to try out for sports teams. all of that pushed me to become a confident person, and from there, many of my problems just fixed themselves. to this day, i'm indebted to him.

Answer 4

I used to think of that too till i in my view did get fat. You do want help with your vanity. possibly you may desire to take a self protection direction or connect a club, making acquaintances is often the ideal thank you to make your self sense extra powerful. do certainly no longer supply in to the urge to no longer make eye-touch. the guy you're conversing to will take it as disrespect- considering is the quickest thank you to disrespect somebody so commence engaged on that acceptable away. Does your abdomen sense fat or do you basically think of it seems fat? If it feels fat you have got bloating/constipation and so on.... attempt to consume familiar healthful nutrition crammed with fiber, no longer basically will it assist you shield healthful weight- even with the undeniable fact that it is going to get rid of any constipation or feeling bloated.

Answer 5

The best thing to do in this situation is just support her and keep telling her that she is beautiful and smart. Even though it may seem like she isn't listening supporting her will make a big impact in the long run.

Answer 6

try get her to hang with some boys one might like her for christmas get her some make up !
at times people feel fat and ugly but its denial of when ther rejected or feel un wanted buy her a new dress and get her to go to a disco

Answer 7

Its kinda a lost cause. You cant make her feel anyway she doesnt want to feel. Just take her out more and be around her often to keep her company, maybe thall take her mind off of the negative thoughts shes having about herself.

Answer 8

try praising her on her talents. if she thinks she is fat ask her if she would like to go walking with you, or some form of exercise. show her how to pick out the right clothes for her body type, also give her make-up tips.

Answer 9

Have a slumber party, just you 2. Bring out the make up, clothes, and shoes.

Take turns fixing each other up. Once you get your hands on her, maybe she'll she is isn't half bad! :-)

Answer 10

Always keep on encouraging her and don't be afraid to talk to your child and ask her what going on in school .Probably people is picking on her in school. sometimes you have to coach her and get her some up to date clothes if affordable. keep on reminding her that she is beautiful and GOD loves her regardless on how you look. don't keep on telling her she is hopeless that is a discouragement word.