he is sooo bad tempered, can anyone offer advice?

Question

My 2 year old is so good when it is just me or just him and his dad, but when we sit on the sofa together he starts screaming and hitting us, and he even hits my other son. if he can't get his own way he throws things and hits the doors, lol it's quite scary what should i do with him?

sonny, i do not think it is funny at all the lol stands for lots of love!!!

Answer 1

ouch! dont smack him anyway...he's two! He doesnt understand if you smack him that its not okay to smack back! Telling him its bad to do something then doing it to him is plain confusing to the poor child!....Thats just a little something to all those who replied with treatments of abuse to teach him.

So its the terrible two's, my daughter is nearly 2 and a half and has hit the same thing. I never believed in the terrible two's when i heard people talking about them, but hey im a parent now and im living the nightmare too!

I sit my daughter on the step if she's throwing a tantrum and she stays there for 2 and a half minutes and then i go to her and ask if she's sorry and is she going to be a good girl, and it works!And when the 2 mins is up and i go to her i kneel down to her and speak to her at her level, you can imagine how hard it is to respond well to someone towering over you and telling you this that and the other!

Your son sounds jealous when he's around the whole family...he gets frustrated and wants to sit with mammy and have daddy sit away and have his brother sit elsewhere too - or vice-versa he wants the other parent.

It happens alot here too - even though she has no siblings to hit, she throws a tantrum when daddy comes home from work sometimes because he was gone again for the day and now he's just walking in the door and is mad at him...she doesnt understand that sometimes he has the day off to sepnd with her and sometimes he has to be gone away for the day to work.

And yes maybe he is being fed too many additives, but i feed my daughter natural products and no additives whatsoever in her diet and she's still going through this phase :)

The step, some love, saying sorry and equal parenting and attention will eventually work :) good luck!

(I was going to put i some links to websites on this subject but i found so many i didnt know which to choose! So go to Google and simply type in 'terrible two's, toddler tantrums' and that'll give great advice!)

Answer 2

Hes playing you against each other. When he starts tell him hes naughty and remove him from the sofa and put him in a naughty corner. The guide is 1 minute per year so 2 minutes in the naughty corner and then take him back again. If he starts hitting...off to the naughty corner for another 2 mins. It will be hard work to start with but it will work. DO NOT shout at him or talk to him in any way while he is in the naughty corner. DO NOT smack, it just encourages violence from him;

Answer 3

My daughter has a bad temper but the time out approach really works. I explain calmly that I don't want her to sit/play with me when she's being angry and that she has to sit by the front door until she's calmed down. I take her there and if she comes storming back I'll just calmly lead her away again, say that she has to stay there until I come back. She can then thrash it out on the floor by herself with nothing to kick over.
The trick is not to talk too much as the idea of time out is that they're excluded from the fun. When the 2 minutes is up I come out and kneel down and ask her if she wants to come a speak to me. Sometimes she's still too angry and chooses to stay in time out so I leave her for another minute. When she comes to speak to me I explain simply and nicely but sternly what it was that she did that wasn't nice. We finish with a kiss and a cuddle then forget the whole thing. She's done her time so I just drop it afterwards.
If he hits you other son then just kead him away to your time out zone and make a massive fuss of your other son. He'll then see that by hitting him he only gets his brother more attention. Same again with your husband. Sure it'll make him angry at first but he has to learn to lump it.
It takes a while to get into the routine and your son will come to understand the consequences of his bad behaviour. He will have to get used to sharing you. Just remember that there's nothing wrong with being angry, he just has to learn how to vent his anger without hurting other people.

Answer 4

You should recognise that he is feeling something and not bellittle that emotion. For example say "I know you are angry/frustrated right now, but you mustn't hit mummy or daddy". Then tell him the consequence of his action "It hurts Mummy when you hit her" and then the warning "If you hit Mummy then...." (BUT DONT USE SMACKING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!). If the behaviour continues then make sure you carry out whatever threat you have used (I hate teh word threat but I cant think of a better one). It's important to follow through on anything you've said ie if you have said "If you hit mummy then you will have to sit in the time out chair" then you have to follow through on that.

I'm making it all sound so easy aren't I?! I know it isn't tantrums are hard work. My son hads a forty five minuter the other day and I was near pulling my hair out. But if you stick to the rules you set yourself it makes it easier for both of you.

Also use sticker charts/rewards. Maybe try complimentaing good behaviour and ignoring bad where possible.

Good Luck!

Try reading the Baby Whisperer books by Tracy Hogg - they are brillliant and changed my attitude to parenting!

Answer 5

i had the same problem with my 3 yr old,

this is what i did

when he gets "stressed" i get him to take a deep breath ( show your son how to do it make a big deal out of it)

that makes him a little calmer, and then i ask him why he was doing it..... (the bad stuff) get him to see that its naughty

for when he hits out ask hin if he would like to be hit? he will say no, and then say why hit your brother it hurts him,

i find that if you show him that there are concequeses to his actions like if he carrys on i take a toy away, and let him have it back when he starts being good,

i bought a cars (disney film) panni sticker book and every time he was good he got to put sticker in the book, it worked a treat

remember to praise him wen he is good, and take time to spend one on one time with him too

good luck xx

Answer 6

i don't know what you lol at? my son is having to be monitored all the time and hes only 2 years old. me and his nursery keep a diary on his diet and behaviour every day and hes under a paediatrician and speech therapist through his temper. so if it concerns you talk to your health visitor or midwife and stop making a joke about it?

Answer 7

Tell him he has to share you and cant hit its not nice and if he does it again give him time out and keep doing the time out dont give into him this is what he wants

Answer 8

Stop hitting him. Hitting is a learned behavior. Watch Supernanny.

Answer 9

he is jealous of the parent relationship , he thinks you can only love him and no other person as well, Sit apart for a while he may grow out of it!!

Answer 10

He wants your attention. Maybe ignoring him and walking away when he wants to act up and tell him you won't be around him unless he behaves.