ok so im 17 and my boyfriend is 20. he says that he hates to always drop things and have to be with me. i called him for lunch today and he said that he was going with his friend and so i didn't want him to drop this to go with me. and so i just ssaid ok i was just seeing if you had plans but thats ok i will see youwhen we get off work. and got mad and hung up and then called back and said he was going with me. and then i got upset b/c he dropped this with his friend. and he said he did it because he didn't want me to get mad. which i wouldn't and he said i was going crazy to along with his mom. he always says his mom is going crazy. and now hes saying it to me to. i don't know what to do i don't want to lose him but it feels like i am. please help and tell me what i need to do to straightn things out with him. im so upset. and he doesn't understand that i am a sensitive girl, b.c everytime something happens i go and cry but i can't help it its my nature. im in need of some good help
2006-12-19 06:27:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you need to give him space. you are not married and even if you were, at that age, people still need space. i understand that you like to spend time with him, but you have to understand that maybe hes not having the same feelings toward the relationship as you are. im not saying that he doesnt love you or doesnt want ot be in the relationship with you but maybe he isnt ready for it to be as much of a full time job as you are. i would advise you to talk to him in a very neutral way if at all possible. you have to try to leave emotion out of it while talking to him, by that i mean dont get mad or upset or start crying. talk about the facts that pertain to the emotions and feelings, but dont get emotional. also, do it at a neutral site. but somewhere fairly quiet so you can hear eachother. go to the park or a quiet diner. go talk quietly at the library. if you surrounding are quiet you will both be less likely to raise your voices, thus keeping the conversation more civil.
2006-12-19 06:37:30 · answer #1 · answered by jimbo 12606 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a 20 y/o guy is dating a 17y/o girl that is a big age gap in terms of development. A 20 y/o is busy being young and stupid and really cares more about his friendships more than the girl he is seeing except for when he's horny. A 17 y/o girl has fairytale dreams of love (it's worse if you've put out because you're vulnerable and have given up something sacred to someone you care about, only that he doesn't think that way because he's 20 and only cares about the va-jay-jay) That's the gap I'm speaking of. Dump him because he's not ready for a long term caring relationship. Stay within your age range it will be easier and quit giving it up your too young.
2006-12-19 14:57:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear J~Rea,
It is called "Giving yourself and your partner space". You must always remember that when you are in any relationship it is very important to give your partner space and allow him/her to have their own time, whether it is alone or with friends. It is also important to communicate and tell each other if something is really bothering you about the other person. Don't take everything he is saying too personally, as this will only put tremendous stress on your relationship, and then you will drive him away. Look at ways of compromising and let him do things he wants to when he wants to and you must do the same. This advice comes from personal experience, and I am only passing that on to you. I wish you the best. SB
2006-12-19 14:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Sean B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should point out to your boyfriend how he is making you feel. Give specifics! Men do not always have their sensitive side open, and sometimes they need some coaxing!
2006-12-19 14:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by Gina E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not saying that he should drop his life to be with you like every second..but he shouldnt have a problem doing it if he really loves you...yet he does it for his friends?....he doesnt want to spend time with you?...are you sure you're his girlfriend?....honestly your BF sounds like a really insensitive kinda guy
2006-12-19 14:34:45 · answer #5 · answered by Bloo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop calling him, Stop contacting him. Make him go to you, and if he doesn't call or talk to you within two weeks, call him up and confirm That its over. don't put up with him calling you crazy, because it looks as though he might be the one loosing his marbles.
2006-12-19 14:34:33 · answer #6 · answered by Zig 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is a jerk. I'm sure you could do better. Don't let him treat you so mean!
2006-12-19 14:31:14 · answer #7 · answered by courtneyc2002 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋