I need funny blonde jokes?

Question

Whoever can make me laugh the hardest can get the 10 pts.

Answer 1

Blondes Brain At Work Joke
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."


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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish.

The redhead went first. ''I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!''
"Okay,'' replied the genie. And off she went.

Then the brunette went. ''I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!''
And off she went.

The blonde started crying and said, ''I wish my friends were back here!''


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http://blonde-jokes.101funjokes.com/

http://www.humorsphere.com/sms/funny_blonde_jokes.htm

Answer 2

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He
finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep,
husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Answer 3

There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red Head all riding in an elevator that had a mark on the wall.
The Red Head looked at the mark and said, "That looks like an @ss print."
The Brunette sniffs the mark and says, "It smells like an @ss print."
The Blonde licks the mark and says, "Yep! But it's not anyone from this building!"

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

A blonde opened a box of Cheerios® and exclaimed "LOOK! A box of donut seeds!

A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this the other blonde replied "I know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."

Answer 4

A blonde, brunette, and a purple head have been status on the sting of the pool waiting for the one hundred yead breast stroke race.... The starter shot the pistol and the three dove into the water and started swimming. a jiffy the brunette complete and jumped out of the water. Then the purple head. approximately twenty minutes later, the blonde emerged. They presented the gold to the brunette, the silver to the purple head and the bronze to the blonde. As they located the metallic round her neck the blonde wispered " i do no longer desire to sound like a sore loser, yet i think of the different 2 used their hands"

Answer 5

What do you get when you stand a blonde upside down?
A brunette.
The blonde got fired from the M and M factory because she kept throwing away the "W"s.
Why don't blondes use vibrators?
Because they keep chipping their teeth on them.
How do you know when a blonde is menstruating?
Because she is only wearing one sock.
A blonde walks into a "dollar" store, picks up an item, and asks the clerk for a price check......

Answer 6

a blond walked into a bar with some baggage as she was going on vacation. She ordered a drink and the bar tender asked her where she was going? She replied, I'm going to the sun. The bartender replied, Don't you think it will be awfully hot there? The blond replied, I'm going at night.

Answer 7

Blond gets on plane going to Dallas,in economy during flight moves to First class
cabin crew tell her she will have to go back.She replies I'm blond and will stay here.Eventually cabin crew get the Second officer to speak to her,she gives same reply.So the Captain goes back and talks to her she immediately gets up and goes back to economy.They ask the Captain how he done-it,he says well I'm married to a blond and know how they think i just told her First Class does not go to Dallas

Answer 8

Q: Why can't the blond pass her drivers license test?

A: Because every time the car comes to a complete stop she jumps in the back seat!

Answer 9

there was a blond an American and a Russian in a boat the Russian says," we were the first to space". the American says,"So what we were the first to the moon." The blond says,"were going to be the first to the sun." To which the other two reply,"that's impossible you'll burn up." then she says"were not stupid you know were going at night."

Answer 10

How does a blonde turn on her nite light?

---Opens the car door.



Did you hear that Detroit was thinking of putting the dimmer switch back on the floorboard?

----Yeah, too many blondes are getting their ankles caught in the steering column.