who thinks that spoiling your children is wrong?

Question

I think spoiling your children with attention, love and affection, hugs and kisses and play time is wonderful. I don't think that spoiling your children with toys and allowing them to get away with things just so you won't be the bad guy is right. What do you parents think?

REMEMBER I SAID SPOIL THEM WITH LOVE AND HUGS NOT WITH TOYS AND NOT ALLOW THEM TO BE BAD KIDS JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE BAD GUY!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I totally agree.

Answer 2

I think spoiling your child or children is wrong. It is fine to show them affection but just showering them with gifts is letting them off easy. They need to work hard, to become the best individual that they can be. It really is placing the child at a low disadvantage when they get the things they want because they need to learn how to work for it. Not getting things with a silver spoon. It is wrong and that is part of the reasons why so many teenagers are scandalous today. Parents need to go back to being parents, they can even try to look up the definition on being a parent in Webster's dictionary. The hint when I know a child is spoiled is if they claim their parent is their best friend.

Answer 3

OK, let's break this down: Giving a child lots of love, affection, attention, hugs, kisses, and your time is NOT spoiling a child. That's simply affirming that you love your child and demonstrating how much that child means to you. On the other hand, giving a child a lot of material things and exercising little or no discipline IS spoiling a child. I know because I have a 12-year-old nephew and a 9-year-old niece that have parents who are exact opposites. My brother gives them lots of love, affection, attention, etc., but doesn't buy them everything they want and keeps them in line -- he rarely has to spank them; usually raising his voice just a little does the trick. My ex-sister-in-law spends money on them but never spends any time with them. As a result, I can always tell when the kids just came from Mom's house because they're sassy and mouthy and whiny and trying to push their luck. A couple of hours with Dad cures that.

Answer 4

I agree that spoiling with attention, love and everything else you said is fine. I give my kids an allowance and they buy their own stuff. I do splurge a lot on Christmas and birthdays. I don't buy in between those times though. Also, everytime it gets close to their birthday or christmas, we go through their toys and give a lot of them to a charity though. I don't think a kid should have so many toys that they get stuck at the bottom of the toy box and kids don't even know it.

Answer 5

Hugs and kisses and cuddles and love are great things, we have a house rule if a hug is requested you cannot deny it even if mad then back to the issue. however kids getting everything the want does not teach them to appreciate what the have or get. Learning responsibility and decision making starts the day you are born and ends the day you die, trying not to be the Bad Guy can make you just that in the long run when someone does anything to get what they want. bad guy that loves their kid now or Charles Manson's mother later.

Answer 6

Giving children love and attention is always good, but you must pair this with responsibility and a good moral code.

The best way to raise a child to be a responsible adult is pair privilege with responsibility. A child of two can't do much, but they can put their own diapers in the garbage and get rewarded for using the potty. A child of four can set the table and pick up their own toys. A child of seven can haul out the garbage.

Rewards or privileges should be suitable to a child's age and ability, too. There's nothing wrong with "paying" a child for doing chores. My sister used pogs to reward her child. They sat down at the end of the week and totaled them up to determine the child's allowance. The drawback for the child is she had to give pogs back when she threw a tantrum. That hurt. She learned to control her temper and even put herself in time out to avoid losing pogs.

Yes, it's good for children to be spoiled at Christmas and on their birthdays, but not everyday. And holiday manners should be just like everyday manners.

Answer 7

I'm not a parent, but have many nieces and nephews whom I'm very close to so I wanted to chime in.

I think what is important above all is that you teach your child to respect you and others, and they learn that things to don't just appear ebcause they want them. It takes hard work to earn the money to afford the things that they want. I think they need to learn manners, to say please and thank you.

I DON'T think that teaching all that means they don't get hugs and kisses and made to feel special and get toys that they want. I think that giving kids the chance to let them EARN something they want is good, but it definitely needs to be age appropriate what they do to earn things......like a five year old helping the parents do little things around the house or a 16 year old finding a part time job.

I don't think you can spoil a child with hugs and kisses.

Answer 8

There's nothing wrong with spoiling your children with love and affection and attention. There is such a thing as spoiling them with too much of the material things in life, which isn't right. More importantly, I think children need to learn their boundaries and responsibilities as they grow so that they learn right from wrong, good from bad, etc. As long as this is reinforced with love and affection, I see nothing wrong with it. Remember, children don't ask to be spoiled, the adults in their lives need to learn to say when enough is enough and stick to it.

Answer 9

Kids can never have too much love, affection or attention from their parents. In fact, I think that actually makes for a happier and well-adjusted kid. Spoiling with things is very, very bad. They'll just keep wanting more and more. When you stop giving it to them then you just go back to being the crappy parent that they thought you were before.

Answer 10

I agree with you to a point. But, I do think the affection can be overdone as well. As kids get older, they tend to get a little more embarrassed by it, especially if their friends are present. My nephew has no problem hugging any family members, but he does not like to kiss any of the guys anymore. I have no problem with that, because he is becoming more aware of his masculine identity. His dad doesn't like the fact he is starting to get this way, but I think its because his dad is somewhat controlling, and doesn't want to see him grow up into the next stage of his life.

Affection is a great thing in a family. Just make how it is showed, as well as how much is given, is appropriate for the age level of the child.

Answer 11

I think you are right but like always everything with moderation and it also depends, when you spoil them to much they become to dependent on someone and do not become independent (example in school they won't be to out going because when something goes wrong they will want mommy) so not to much spoiling but always some everyday.