Getting on my nerves!?

Question

my mother in law to be is getting on my last nerve! I really care about her I know she does it as a MOTHER, but hello its not her resposability anymore! My Fiance and I have been together for a while now, but when we are invited to a party or gathering they show up. We of course are having a good time drinking socializing and the next thing I know is ...you all better stop drinking. Telling me I should tell my fiance to stop. She keeps saying when you all get married all this is going to stop...WTF??? We don't have kids we don't have anything holding us back from PARTYING!! We are still VERY YOUNG (EARLY 20's) and want to continue to have FUN!! How do I take care of this?

Answer 1

tell your mum to control herself and think and have a long good talk with your mum and your fiance about how you feel
explain what you told us to them as well and if she doesnt change her mind then tel her that its your life not hers
gudluk

Answer 2

Why do your in-laws keep showing up at parties you are attending? That's what I'm not understanding. LOL

Aside from that question, I would imagine that your in-laws view people of marriageable intent and age to be 'settling down'. In their world view, people like that do not go out partying any more. That is the way it was back in their day. By your age, people in their generation were often already married, with steady jobs, and with a kid or two -- so there wasn't a lot of partying they could afford or would choose to do. To them, you two probably appear immature and ill-prepared for real life. They see you two acting in those ways and worry that you will never stop partying, even after the kids come. That is their pov and you cannot change it.

I would suggest that you avoid parties they are attending or avoid drinking to the point of getting drunk at those parties. (No good parent would actually enjoy seeing their own child drunk.) If they persist in talking to you, I would tell them gently to talk to their son if they are concerned about his drinking. If that does not work, then you should leave the party. After a while they will either get the hint or you will be removing yourself from problematic situations.

Answer 3

We all know it is *very* very rare to come across a mother in law we like. I have not really liked any of my boyfriends mothers. They are allll nuts. I think your best first step would be to have your fiance talk with her, a serious talk about the way you two feel. When it comes to us women voicing our opinion, they do not want to hear it and become defensive, b/c they think they know everything. Make it known that the way you two feel about and do things is not the way she does. You two are adults and want to live your lives they way you do. If that doesnt work, they maybe the only thing you can do is ignore it. Let all the petty talk go in one ear and out the other, b/c sometimes, people will never open their eyes and ears, will never think they are wrong, and will never, ever change. Good luck. But remember, I would say at least 70%, probably more go through this. Mother is laws were not put here to be loving, caring, pleasant people to be around.

Answer 4

I agree with you. It isn't her place to dictate your behavior. You might take her aside and simply tell her that she may be embarrassing your fiance with that kind of interference. Say it nicely, like a hint. Once you two get married I'm sure she won't be like that. If she is, just threaten to move to Minnesota. That generally takes care of the problem! Hey have a wonderful and Merry Christmas.

Answer 5

Mom's will be Mom's I mean my mother wouldn't do that to my fiance, she'd tell me in private if she said anything at all, she's cool like that, but she's probably just worried about her baby boy, is he the only son? A moma's boy? just hurry up and get married once y'all are married she can't say Sh!t!! good luck if you need to vent some more IM me or email me

Answer 6

Have your fiance talk to his mother about it. Don't talk to her yourself, unless you have that kind of relationship with her.

Relationships with future in-laws can be tenous. This is your fiance's mother, let him talk to her.

Or you can try humor. Next time you are at a party and she tells you to stop drinking. Tell her your fiance is the designated driver and you can drink. Then in front of her, tell your fiance. "Stop drinking." Then you've done your duty. If she bugs you again, put on your best innocent face and say, "He won't listen to me, you tell him, your his Mom he'll listen to you."

Thing about parents... they are usually more forgiving with their own blood. So let your fiance do the dirty work, besides it's his Mom let him deal with her. If he won't, then you nag him just like she asked.

Answer 7

you are just going to have to put your foot down to her woman to woman. both you and your fiance are grown a$$ adults and she is just going to have to lay back on the side line. talk to your fiance about and maybe you all can sit down and discuss it. you have to marry into this family for next years to come and you don't want your marriage to your inlaws to be frustrating already. I mean think about it like this nobody has the perfect inlaws. both you and your mom in law to be can take both of your concerns into consideration and respect each others opinion. but i totally agree with you your both young and have nothing to tie you guys down so go with the flow by all means have fun but when it's time to buckle down i'm pretty sure you will

Answer 8

Take your mother to a dinner with your Fiance.Talk to her in person while you are haven dinner.That way no one will make a sense.Explain to her that you have no kids and you guys gust want to have fun wright know.Until you decide to have kids that is when you and I can relax.That way your mother doesn't have nothing to worrier about.

Answer 9

i'm wondering how you & the MIL are ending up at the same gatherings. what's up with that?? anyhow, your fiance needs to tell his mom to butt out. as long as y'all are not out there driving drunk or starting fights, then drink it up. it's your liver.

get this straight now b/c if she is thinks she can just offer her opinion whether or not it's wanted, marriage WILL NOT stop her.

Answer 10

Calm down, take whatever she says with a pinch of salt. Don't over-react to it. You being in your 20's does not mean that you have to become alcoholics. Please take whatever she has to say in a positive spirit. Think about it.