We are high school sweethearts. There is nothing really wrong with our relationship. Its a little boring, and I want us both to see whats out there. If its going okay, should we just work out the kinks, or take a break?
2006-12-19 04:26:11 · 22 answers · asked by Punky B. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If I can be really presumptious, I would say, let me translate for you what you are feeling and not saying.
It sounds like the relationship you got into when you were 15 somehow just kept going and going because there was nothing really wrong with it, even though there was nothing very special about it either.
It sounds like you have realized that you (both) deserve more than that out of a relationship, but you've been together for so long that it almost feels like a sacrilege to say it out loud (or even think it). You do not want to be in a relationship with this person any more. But, you almost can't imagine not having them in your life, like as if it were your brother or your sister or a best friend. He's just always been there. And you sure don't want to hurt him (and you know it will), because he hasn't really done anything wrong.
But, let me tell you, calling it a "break" doesn't make it hurt the other person any less, and it doesn't preserve things magically where they are in case you want to step back in time and resume things where you left off. Not possible.
If you are looking for permission to end this relationship, here it is. It's okay. Really. You have both grown up. And that's the most normal thing in the world. When you say "it's a little boring," you have to realize that is a life sentence with no parole if you do nothing to end this.
You are not a bad person if you speak up and say the truth. You have both outgrown the deal you entered into at 15. No biggie. You will always cherish the memories of the years you had, and you'll probably always think very fondly of each other. Even after you've met the love of your lives and gotten married and had kids and grandkids.
Do the right thing. Take the big step. Emancipate both of you. Go on out and live the rest of your life, and find your passionate, exciting soul mate to live it with.
2006-12-19 04:37:07 · answer #1 · answered by Rvn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am high school sweethearts with my old man too we have been together for 6 1/2 years.... at one point and time we took a break to see what was out there but seen that no one was what we wanted and got back together......
I suggest you speak with your old man and see what he has to say about it all..... but don't get upset when he comes back and says he has found someone else that suits him better then you because that is a chance you are taking by doing so also he may feel that you no longer love him and that will hurt.....
But if you are wondering about what could have been then your heart is not truely in this relationship that is what i have always been told..... in the end the choice is your and only yours to make... so think long and hard about what could happen and if you are willing to accept what may come.....
Good Luck and I hope you pick what is right for you and that you are happy
2006-12-19 12:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by evil_fallen_angel41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got together at 15, and that's WAY to young to commit yourself to someone...you've already been together longer than many marriages nowadays last...
Do what's best for you, but I think you are both short changing yourselves by not seeing what else is out there...if you think you're bored now, wait a few more years.
If you do decide to try out other options, then don't call it a break...end the romantic relationship completely and if you decide to get back together in the future, that's fine. Let there be no strings on one another, and no issues with who the other dates or sleeps with or anything of that nature...let it be as if you won't get back together (whether you actually do or not).
If you do stay together, then see what it will take to put some spice and spark back into things...it's tough to be with someone so long and keep things lively, it takes work and imagination...
Good luck.
2006-12-19 12:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is my bigest mistake, same with me and my boyfrien except I broke it off when I was a lot younger just because I never really dated anyone else! And yes we got back together, but in the mean time I dated a guy that was controlling and abusive, And I always thought its not alway greener on the other side!
work out the kinks, let him knoe the relationship is starting to get boring, and find some new things or changes you can make!
2006-12-19 12:30:46 · answer #4 · answered by ♥JENN♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him and want to marry him then you should stick with him and work out the kinks. If you aren't sure if you would want to spend your whole life with him then you should probably take a break. It's hard when you have been with someone that long because they have had a big part in your life and becoming an adult, in your case. Just follow your heart! Good luck!
2006-12-19 12:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by jenna11rn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you are missing major things because of this. See what's out there. Your priorities will eventually change sooner or later and maybe this is the start of this otherwise you won't question this relationship. I believe you can still be together after you tried lots of things if you're really into each other. But don't be like when youré married that's the time you want to experiment. The major question is... do you really love each other and want to be together for the rest of your lives? Or youré just okey with each other and more on just friends kind of thing.? If the latter, then do other thins first. You're still young.
2006-12-19 12:36:13 · answer #6 · answered by mareko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can only get out , what you put in, So you need to look at your part in what have you contributed to this relationship in the past 10 years and you guy might do the same. If the answer is the same old same old, then do some thing about that.Bring fresh ideas and thoughts to the table. If none is forthcoming, then you know where you stand, but you have to do the work now, not after you have gone off and possibly done some thing you should have not done
2006-12-19 12:34:35 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband an I have been together since high school too. 14 years this March. I never wanted to take a break from him and he did want one from me either. If you want a break it's for a reason. You must follow your heart! It will lead you where you need to be!
We were 17 and now we are both 31! I love him more than ever!
Together 13/ married 6
2006-12-19 12:34:58 · answer #8 · answered by littlegoober75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahh, the timing has more to do with it than anything else. Most marriages run into the "7 Year Itch"...but if you really do care for him (and could see him as the father of your children and your old-age hubby) then you'd be best to initiate the "spark".
Remember, you shouldn't expect that the relationship "spark" should fall only to him. It's a two-way street that you have an equal amount of responsibility to maintain.
Check out some books in the book store on how to rekindle your relationship!
2006-12-19 12:29:32 · answer #9 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be honest and direct. Let him know that you are not sure about your feelings for him and in order to find out, you feel like you both need to see other people. 10 years is a long time, and since marriage or starting a family has been discussed you feel the need to see if he is the person you want for the rest of your life. Sometimes truely seeing what is out there may make you realize that you have or have not found your soulmate.
2006-12-19 12:30:12 · answer #10 · answered by Marilyn C 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋