looking like an idiot infront of you bf/gf's family. now matter how much you try its JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH for you bf/gf's mommy or daddy. and all you can do is just sit there and feel like an idiot because you can feel there judging eyes on you and there fake smiles on there faces, and in side you know they just want to hang you. throgh there money , and wealth in your face and education and yet you just sit there with a stupid smile and agree to everything they say. and then it comes down to the point that you do everything in your power to avoid them.
You love your bf/gf but your to confussed if this is what you want, if this is what you want you child to be raised in, in that invironment
have any of you had this happen to you please tell me i dont want to be the only one with this problem, your opinion matters, and what can i do, coz im ingaded and his family is nutzzzzzzzzzz, money hungery silly monkeys aahhhhhhh help!!!!!!!!!!!!1
2006-12-19 04:20:49 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh my gosh....I was in your shoes like 6 years ago. It was the worst mistake of my life. I had been with him for quite a few years....and I kept thinking that...."it will be okay. I love him. I'll make it work. I'm not marrying his parents, I'm marrying him." And then I started thinking of exactly what you did. How could I raise kids with a family like that? Would they treat me like that in front of my children (because everyone always says that children are the best lie detectors). So I talked to him about it, and he just didn't get it. He didn't understand. And no matter how hard he tried.....he couldn't see it from my point of view. But Iived with the problem for about another year. And as we started making plans for our wedding....I realized. I couldn't do it. I couldn't torture myself for the rest of my life. Because whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not.....I was marrying his family. I was getting ready to become an eternal part of a family.....I wasn't the least bit comfortable with. So I broke it off, and I talked to him about it. And I think that was the exact moment he understood. We're still friends though, and now....lol....he's engaged to a woman who could not fit in better with his family. And he's happy. And I'm married....and couldn't imagine my life any other way. I have two wonderful kids.....and I think this is where I was supposed to be.
2006-12-19 04:28:10 · answer #1 · answered by Champagne115 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you say what his family is, but you don't really say if that's what he is. And how close is he with his family? How often do you have to be around them? How close will you live to them? Is he going into the family business?
It's true that when you marry someone, you marry the whole family, warts and all, but everyone's situation is different. Some people have very little interaction with their families except on holidays, and this is actually liveable. If there is constant daily interaction, this would probably drive you crazy. You need to be real honest with your self assessment of this, and be honest with your fiance about your concerns. (Sometimes pre-marital counseling can help you face all the pertinent questions about a topic such as this. It might be a good thing.)
2006-12-19 12:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by Rvn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you are more concerned about his family then you are of your relationship. The reality is that you and him are the only two you need to be concerned with. If he is trying to change you to adapt to that environment, well...simply you are going to be unhappy. Prisons can be made with wealth. So, with a lot of people saying there is no such thing as love, well...realize that love is a choice, and only the strongest love can walk away from the money trap...and forge ahead to build a future based on it.
2006-12-19 12:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have a suggestion to you, because i saw my cousin's boyfriend went through all these. my cousin graduated in college 2 years ahead of her boyfriend...so when she introduced him to the parents...he looked like crap, too...i mean the way he dressed and stuff..his car was old and beat up...so my aunt and uncle...same with all her brothers...treated him like s**t...my cousin and her bf still ended up marrying each other and my cousin is suffering now...because the bf was so insecured about everything that he ended up cheating all the time.....if i were u....i will talk to her parents....and if u think this is a hopeless case, since u cant change them....just move on...or better yet...marry her and move very very far.........
2006-12-19 12:27:34 · answer #4 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love doesn't hurt, but some of the things we put ourselves through because of it, can.
Why not just be yourself and stop worrying if they like you or not? Apparently HE does or he wouldn't be with you. When you stop allowing them to intimidate you, and be polite but let your views and thoughts be known, perhaps they'll actually grow to respect you in some way.
People can't walk over you or intimidate you if you don't let them. Let them judge all they want...you do it too (we all do) but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing...if you want them to judge you positively, then give them reasons to do so.
Good luck!
2006-12-19 12:26:30 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the position you're in you're putting your self there, if you feel uneducated GET educated. don' lose your pride for these people. if you are going to be with this guy you don't have to be with the parents . remember everything is a visit you get to go home . stay the way you are don't change for them. because if it don't work out you will still be the same person. you are beautiful just to consider their feeling.
2006-12-19 12:39:50 · answer #6 · answered by curious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the movie plot from "Meet the Parents" (great movie)
Things will be better for you once you stop trying so hard to impress them....just be yourself....if they like you then great! if not...who cares...don't value yourself on what people think of you.if your g/f or b/f is happy with you and you are content with who you are....then thats all that matters.
2006-12-19 12:24:57 · answer #7 · answered by Pinkie_&_the_Brain 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your r right to be concerned what ur children will be exposed to and yes i know what u mean but thats the world we live it and its hard to keep ur sanity at time in this market place. Either way u look at it its a meat-market and that is so unfair to the children!
2006-12-19 12:28:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out know. The family is alway going to be family. Unless you can tell your parnter how you feel and they are ok with that. Just remeber that if you get serious your not getting serious with the family you are getting serious with your partner.
2006-12-19 12:24:10 · answer #9 · answered by karli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NOBODY can MAKE you feel stupid, but YOU! That is YOUR complex, they are just working on it cuz they are ignorant snobs. Make YOURSELF happy, and feel good about yourself, no matter what. That's the best revenge to small minded people like that.
2006-12-19 12:25:34 · answer #10 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋