It's something I hear people say so often to the poor bastards who genuinely admire them, and it's so bloody condescending. Do people not realise flattery is FALSE praise? For crying out loud, when you say 'I'm flattered', you're really saying 'I feel like you just gave me a compliment you didn't mean'. How freaking rude. Is it so hard to say 'thanks for the compliment, but I'm already seeing someone' or equivalent?
Sorry about the rant, it just makes me really mad!
2006-12-19 04:02:26 · 9 answers · asked by The Mad Shillelagh 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Aaaargh! So many people are missing the point! The word FLATTERY is my point. It is FALSE praise. It doesn't reduce hurt feelings! It tells the other person you think they're lying about being interested! That all their effort to win you is nothing but a sham! For God's sake, say no, but don't be an ar$ehole about it!
2006-12-19 05:04:35 · update #1
Oh, and I'm not writing this because I've been rejected recently. I actually have a decent relationship I've been in for ages. My objection is with the obscene misuse of a word that people obviously don't know the meaning of. I'm an editor. I value accurate communication.
2006-12-19 05:07:53 · update #2
It's part of the nothankyou dance.
"It's not you, it's me" means "it's you."
"I'm flattered, but" means "yech."
"I'm busy that night" means "yech, it's you."
2006-12-19 04:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
The term "flattery" often does involve insincere compliments, but not exclusively.
It really means the act of giving compliments, stronger in measure than can be naturally returned from the other side.
In such a situation as you've described, the receiver doesn't share the same desire as the one who has expressed it, but they have been touched because of it. Sorry, I don't see it as condescending at all.
2006-12-19 12:25:29 · answer #2 · answered by Jeff W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll reconsider the next time I'm tempted to reject someone that way. Maybe it would be better to say what you suggested. What do you suggest when you aren't seeing anyone else and just don't want to go out with the person who asked you? My horoscope included something about flattery recently...it said something like 'flattery--sniff but don't swallow.' LOL
2006-12-19 12:06:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is flattering when someone likes you whether I like them or not. I mean someone actually had the guts to tell me or ask me out is flattering and I don't think there is anything wrong with saying that. However you seem to be angry because you were reject so perhaps you should look at that.
2006-12-19 12:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by Sophie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Would you rather they say, "I think you're too ugly to date, & I hate your guts", even if they didn't mean it?
Plus where did you learn that flattery can't be sincere, or can only be "false praise"?
Obviously you don't take rejection very well, even if it's put as kindly as possible.
Try to cheer up.
2006-12-19 12:08:17 · answer #5 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well your right it is really mean but people saying the rejection nicley better than no i would never go out withyou its justa nicer way to say that
2006-12-19 12:07:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not? I am flattered when anyone notices me, but it does not mean I want to date them.
2006-12-19 12:04:09 · answer #7 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
They are trying their best to reduce any hurt feelings...
There hearts are in the right place...
2006-12-19 12:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well it is flattering. but often it stops there.
2006-12-19 12:11:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋