im asking becuase i am trying to be friends with an ex, and he is now in a great relationship, and I believe him to. His new girlfriend is hott, she's 18 yrs old, she seems like a cool person. She's practically moved in with him, he talks about her all the time, says he loves her & she's amazing...and obviously it's a good relationship becuase he has no interest in being with me again. But my question is, why does he still want to have sex with me? We've been broken up for over a year and have hooked up probably 30 times. The sex is amazing, we've both agreed that it's the best we've ever had. I live in Florida and he's in Michigan, so i dont see him or talk to him anymore, but whenever i come to visit he practically rapes me. If he is in a completely fufilling relationship with a hott chick that he loves and the sex is SOOO good with her, why does he keep coming back to me. I hate asking stupid questions like this but i just dont understand...what is going on in his head???
2006-12-19 03:43:37 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
how long have you been with him??? if you guys where together for a few years before u guys broke up, he may have some kind of connection with you that he doesn't have with that girl!
Might be coming back because the sex is the bomb and he lied about it being good with his new girl!
might be that you could just be a free easy f**k! He might still be coming back because he knows that he can.
Maybe is new girlfriend is not all that great period! Maybe he is with her because your so far away from him and she lives in his hometown?
There could be many reasons why he keeps coming back, maybe he really loves you and will never stop loving you. It's hard to say, but I wish you all the luck in the world and just remember not to let him play you. Your worth more than someones second fiddler!
Take care girl and keep your head up!
mypharrell@yahoo.com
2006-12-19 04:00:53 · answer #1 · answered by MYPHARRELL 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Gem,
This is the proverbial question! Here is the answer! Men are basically polygamous! We follow the 'hard drive' of our instinctual urge, which is to inseminate as many females as possible in order to leave our seed planted. Our social conditioning has made us try to conform to the norms of rational thinking via the curbing of our sexual appetite. We tend to still follow our instincts in spite of all the coersion offered by the social and moral conditioning we have been exposed to. Women on the other hand follow a different instinctual drive than we do, but try to compete by becoming more sexually active than their 'hard drive' tells them, thus the confusion trying to understand us as a gender.
Now, let's be honest! You given into him, according to you, probably 30 times since you broke up. How fair is it to blame him for infedelity when you have been a willing facilitator! Let's face it you love it as much as he does. Almost RAPE you say! There is no such thing! Either it is or it isn't, and you know as well as anyone out here that a man will get as far as a woman will let him unless of course, there is physical force involved and even then if you don't want to, with true conviction, you'd rather die than be raped. So don't wave your flag of innocence at us, or at least not me, I can see right trough it!
The question you should be asking yourself is; What is going on in my head?
2006-12-19 04:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no such thing in my opinion as a perfect relationship for the simple fact that every relationship has its flaws and inperfections. Anyway he keeps coming back to you for the sexual rendevous because you are letting him and adding fuel fire does not help since you and him have been broken up for a year and he has a girlfriend. Don't you think when he found this other chick that you would have put your foot down and told him that you and him can't keep doing what you doing because he is seeing someone else you don't think it is right. You doing this for his benefit not just because it feels good. You obviously don't want to ruin what he has with this girl if it is that good. He knows that he can step all over you when it comes to this fling and you need to put your foot down and let him know you respect him as the person that he is but you and him just can't keep this up since you are not dating anymore,but let him know that you still want to be friends with him. If he can't understand you then maybe it is not a good idea that you and him continue to be friend if that is what you are.
2006-12-19 03:57:45 · answer #3 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
BAD!!!! He obviously doesn't have the perfect relationship if he is still having sex with you! Doing this couldn't possibly be helping either of you move on and may cause that nice little relationship he has with the new girl to end abruptly. If you are only having sex with him and don't have a relationship then he probably just sees it as a free ride. Don't let him use you that way, move on to someone who isn't already taken. You already know the two of you can't make it, so don't hinder his or your own growth by continuing to hook up. Find someone new or just be alone for a while and get closer to your friends.
2006-12-19 03:49:33 · answer #4 · answered by nitespector 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Why? Hmmm..
My curiosity Q is why so many answerers are getting so venemous? I don't really see anyone adressing ur Q, just spouting hate and personal reflection from their own lives. It's like a music box sweetheart. It's not owed to you, it's a gift. You have to put in effort just to hear the music. Maybe it's a song you like, maybe not. It does get stuck in ur head. Sometimes when you hear the song, it takes you back to a better time. Things that don't seem real, now fill w/ substance, be it a trick of the mind, it still feels cozy.
You are familiar to him. If the sex is getting better it could be a result of better effort. People try to make up for errors in the past, alot of times when it's too late. It can still have a positive rsult, but there is an underlying state of denial. Thats why mothers will sometimes try to take their daughters child if they feel they are messing it up. They can "fix" their mistakes past and set an example. When all they are doing is sowing discord. Your ex does not have to be accountable for his behavior, there is no negative reinforcment for his bad behavior. Ur not telling me enough of why you are doing it. But you have a focus, and an opinion on the new pretty girl. You see her in ur spot. When ur in hers. Angus Young said we should talk about the future and forget about the past, cause love and rythym are never gonna die.
2006-12-19 04:06:56 · answer #5 · answered by NIGHTSHADE 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First of all you shouldn't drop your panties to him any longer. Think about it for a few.. If you were his new girlfriend and found this out wouldn't you be deeply hurt? Of course! Any woman out here that goes with a man knowing he is married or with a girlfriend is just wrong. But let that turn around and the woman is ready to take earrings off, shoes off and throw down! Stop giving him cookies dear and tell him your just not that way and can no longer do this.
If he's doing it with this new chic trust me he done it while he was with you. There isn't a perfect relationship he's proving that and your allowing him to do so. Keep those panties up girl!! Tell him to either stay with whom he's with or break up with her.
Apparently neither of you are over each other.
2006-12-19 03:52:57 · answer #6 · answered by ssgtmommy01 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He thinks that he can have his cake and eat it to. He figures that as long as you are okay with sleeping with him and basically being the "other woman", then his relationship with his current girlfriend is going to be the same. He's just looking to play around and have fun and hurt people and he is using you. Don't give in to him because he feels like that he can't get it from you whenever he sees fit.
2006-12-19 03:49:30 · answer #7 · answered by frakmomma04 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't keep coming back to you, you go where he is to visit. by the way, who are you visiting? him? not a good move.
he is a man, and the simplest way to put it is this...he has sex with you because he can. because you let him.
stop selling yourself short and offering yourself to him. as far as his "perfect" relationship, let me re-iterate...he's a man. he has a perfect life. he has a girlfriend who is "all that & a bag of chips" a great relationship with her, and for variety, he has you. his booty call. their are no strings between the 2 of you, you come for a quick visit and you're gone. he doesn't have to worry about her finding out about you or a chance meeting cause you're in florida and they are in michigan.
wake up girl and move the hell on...unless you enjoy being just a booty call?
just for the record. real "friends", don't f****. especially if they know there is a real relationship, (boyfriend and girlfriend) somewhere. check yourself. put yourself in her shoes.
have some respect for yourself.
2006-12-19 04:01:54 · answer #8 · answered by mama dee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know I have no idea why--I am very, very happily married to the most wonderful man in the world and to even entertain that thought makes me sick to my stomach. I do not believe in that anyway. Your ex needs to get a life and leave you alone and you need to send him packin out of your life for good.
2006-12-19 03:52:21 · answer #9 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well fro the same reason he left you. HE finds it excitting have two women to have sex with. A young one and an older one. And when he sees you that brings memeories of both of you and he just wants to have you, because he knows you will soon leave. But nobody has a perfect relationships all relationships have their bumps in them. ANd getting over them together makes a relationship better. But all he wants from you is sex, and maybe he is also cheating with his new love too but you don't know it.
2006-12-19 03:48:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋