I have a boyfriend of almost 2 yrs. we've been through a lot and i love him as a person very much but I dont think I'm in love with him anymore and think I should just break up with him. Its so close to christmas and hes doing so much for me, how can I break it to him and when is a good time? I feel awful about it since its almost christmas!! Hes a very angry person though and sometimes its so hard to talk to him without him getting crazy upset. I dont want him to hate me.
2006-12-19 03:37:35 · 16 answers · asked by TheLight 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Our anniversary is in January!!! =/
2006-12-19 03:45:18 · update #1
I think you should break it off whenever YOU feel like is the right time. If you are not IN love with him, then you should move on. And just to be sincere, don't break up with him while it is so close to Christmas because the holidays are the most depressing time of the year. There are a lot of people of out there committing suicide and other stuff because they are lonely or something really terrible happened to them over the holidays. Just wait till after and sit him down and make him listen to you. Don't yell or scream and tell him that his anger is a huge problem too cause he could have acted upon it and hit you. Tell him how you feel and tell him that you can't talk to him when he gets like that and for your safety and his, you think you should both move on. I'm just happy that he hasn't laid a hand on you when he is angry and just give yourself some time to think things through.
2006-12-19 03:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by frakmomma04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As to "When?" . . . sooner is better than later. If you break up with him after Christmas, i.e., after he has given you a bunch of expensive presents, he's going to resent you for being materialistic. So do it right away.
As far as the "How?" . . . There's only one way to do it right, and that's to sit down - in person, not on the phone, by email or by text - and have a long talk with him. If he has anger issues, do it in a public place (like a restaurant), because he's less likely to go ballistic.
Don't give him a choice, TELL him how it's going to be, but be as gentle and respectful as possible. Don't leave him with any hope that you might get back together, like saying that you need "a break" or "some time off" or "some space," because a clean break is always best, even if it's difficult. And for the love of GOD, don't tell him that you can still be friends, because that will be the LAST thing he will want.
Give up on the idea that he's not going to get angry, 'cause that's just unreasonable. You can't have it both ways, unless of course he feels the same way you do. Of COURSE he's going to be angry. He might even hate you - for a while. But he'll get over it.
2006-12-19 11:48:30 · answer #2 · answered by Humberto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The longer you wait, the more miserable you will become. Especially if you use the holidays as an excuse.
If you don't do it around Christmas, then you won't do it around New Year's, then you won't do it because Valentine's Day is coming, then you won't do it because Easter is close etc. Vicious cycle.
Especially if he is angry. Do it now because you will have the support of your family and will be around them during the holidays.
2006-12-19 11:43:46 · answer #3 · answered by Morty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a tough problem hun... Well just wait till after the new year is over. If you still feel the same way break up with him.... Mircles can happen on Christmas
2006-12-19 11:41:14 · answer #4 · answered by Hello Buggles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well shug..... you obviously have been thinking about this for awhile, because thats somthing you just dont wake up one morning and say "hey, i dont think i love him anymore"!! You should have done it along time ago, because your in sooo deep right now, that he is going to hate you for a long time. Breaking up with someone right b4 christmas is not somthing that people take lightly. I doubt yall stay friends
2006-12-19 11:41:54 · answer #5 · answered by smitty4626 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should wait until after the holidays. Then pick a time when he doesn't seem angry. I'm sure he will be upset, and you have to expect that.
2006-12-19 11:45:59 · answer #6 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its never a good time. you just have to be honest and tell him what you have said here. there is no nice way to do it. you dont know what the outcome of break ups. he might get really upset or could understand. read tips on love and relationships to help you more on this site
2006-12-19 11:42:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u should wait till after christmas b/c that is not a very good christmas present for a guy and plus if they have a anger problem so i think thats wut u should do like wait till like january something and then just be like i am sry but i just dont think its workin out can we still be kool.
2006-12-19 11:42:32 · answer #8 · answered by Christina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really don't want to be with this guy break up with him NOW, there is never going to be a good time. (Before or after christmas).
2006-12-19 11:41:41 · answer #9 · answered by Weiners and Beans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it between New Year's and Valentine's Day. If you think he's going to flip out, tell a trusted friend when you're going to break up with him and have her call you to give you an excuse to get away. You have to do what's best for you.
2006-12-19 11:41:26 · answer #10 · answered by Claire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋