My boyfriend dated this girl Monique when he was in high school, they had been broken up for about 4 months when she called him up one day and said she was about 4 months pregnant and it was his. Then about a month later she said it wasn't so he just continued his life normally and never looked back. Well, about a month ago she wrote a letter to his Mom and asked if she would track him down for her so she could discuss the possibilities of him taking a parternity test. So his Mom sent him the letter and it even had pictures of the little girl in it. So Jesse decided to pay for the parternity test. He ordered a kit and we both met with Monique and the little girl to do the test. He sent it off and should have the results by this Thursday. I am almost sick over it but I am not showing it to him. I am being supportive and I am glad he is doing it cause that would be sad if the little girl didnt know her Dad. How do I handle this if it is his cause everything is going to change between us?
2006-12-19 03:26:17 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Be Supportive.Every child deserves a dad.
2006-12-19 03:40:54 · answer #1 · answered by Carrie B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun! It shouldn't change much between the 2 of you. Although you may have to adjust to the fact that he's a father but may or may not get to see his child. You must stand by him through this whole thing. Just remember this could be just a way for her to see if she can get him back. If the test comes back that he's not the father what are you going to do. If it comes back that he is what you going to do? You 2 need to sit down NOW before the results are in and talk about the situation. his ex may be in your life forever.
2006-12-19 03:49:54 · answer #2 · answered by missjewl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't see there will be anything change, cuz your boyfriends now loves you not that Monique. Also if that girl is his daughter, good news! Cuz you have a step-daughter, a little girl you can also love! What in this world you can find is better to be love and love someone especially little kids! BUT the most important is that your supportive to your boyfriend, you are such a good, considerable and kind heart lady!
2006-12-19 04:19:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive, but the relationship is going to fall onto your shoulders. Can you really stand being with a man who has a child with another woman? You really need to ask yourself that. If you love him, then don't let feelings of jealousy get in the way of your relationship now, because if it's something that's built to last, you'll have babies of your own.
You're also going to have to learn to deal with the fact that now the attention isn't going to be focused all on you, he now has a baby, and if he's a good man, he'll be a father to it.
On the other hand, if it comes out negative you both can just take a big sigh of relief and go on about your lives.
Good luck
2006-12-19 03:36:38 · answer #4 · answered by Hiroko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although this is a difficult situation, it shouldn't change what you and your boyfriend have. Of course, he will want the little girl in his life, if it turns out to be his, however, you should welcome the little girl with open arms as well. It would help to know how long have you been in your relationship? I believe Jesse should have went to one of those places that strictly does paternity testing that way it would be no fault decision. Basically, if this is his child, you have to stand behind him in whatever decision he makes. If you love him, tell him that. Emphasize that it will be challenge for everyone, but you will also love his daughter.
2006-12-19 03:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by downinmn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are already doing everything you can and being very supportive, i applaud you in realizing that the child needs a father and if he is i would hope that he is there for her and his ex, yes things may change a little but a little change never hurt anyone, this could actually be a really good thing for the both of you, especially if you continue to be as supportive as you have been. good luck to both of you.
2006-12-19 03:32:48 · answer #6 · answered by puppy love 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice to you is to talk to him, sk him if he think's there is any chance it could be his. I think you should tell him to go ahead with the paternity test because either it is his and his kid grows up without a dad, or it isn't and you can get the menaceing ex off your hands.
now you should think about whether you can handle your boyfriend haveing a child, if it is healthy for your life. you seem pretty young, and do you really want to be dealing with a kid...even if it isn't yours?
sit down and think about your options, and don't keep anything from your boyfriend. ANd if you really love him you shouldn't hold his love child against him...it was in the past. think rationally.
Hope that helps, best of luck.
2006-12-19 03:32:52 · answer #7 · answered by Caitie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will pay child support and (hopefully) want to be part of his daughter's life, but really, how is that going to affect you? YOu still love him and he still loves you right? It doesn't sound like Monique is trying to get back together with him so there really isn't a problem, now is there?
2006-12-19 03:31:05 · answer #8 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yup. Everything will change. But it is important to know, one way or another.
If this kit that you ordered comes up either positive or negative (and she still thinks the baby is his), consider it a waste of money. In every city there are clinics that can do this without error. He'll need to go to one of these clinics.
2006-12-19 03:30:10 · answer #9 · answered by smartygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He ought to actual get a criminal expert. If she needs to get any newborn help she will ought to placed as much as a parternity try. in the event that they are not married, and his call isn't on the delivery certificates he would ought to combat to get visitation and/or custodial rights, yet he ought to. it particularly is a advantageous substitute to make certain father's that opt to be of their youngster's lives!
2016-10-18 11:54:00 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋