How can I make my 2-year-old niece like me again?

Question

I have an almost- 2-year-old niece and I adore her! I used to live fairly close to them, but I took a job out of state and moved. When I saw her over Thanksgiving, she cried if I held her and ran to her mom when I tried to play with her. I don't get it!! It had been about 4 months since I'd last seen her so I know she forgot me, but she used to love to play with and go to me. Now I'm going back there for Christmas and I want to know if there is anything I can do to make her like me again? She literally seems terrified of me and I'm crushed!

Answer 1

Don't hate me. I couldn't help laughing. :-)

I have two nieces and a nephew, and they're all three different, and we've come across this with my nephew, and we'll find out next week how things go with the niece we haven't seen for a year.

First, don't take it personally. All two year olds are different. Some are different from day to day. :-)

She's at an age where she's wary of people she doesn't know well, and most children go through this. Four months of her life is a HUGE chunk of it, so as difficult as it is for you, you may have to come at her from the stranger angle, getting to know her again in a time frame she's comfortable with.

My own children require no "warming up" time. They're affectionate through-and-through (sometimes to a fault... stranger danger is nonexistant in their minds, so it requires super-extra vigilance on my part), but my nephew is very wary of strangers. After we had lived out of town for 7 months (he just turned three, so this was over the period of time when he was 2- to 2-1/2-years old), he didn't know us, and treated us as such. Luckily, when we moved back, my kids go to the same school as him, so we get to see him daily, and that's helped.

He warmed up quickly to my kids (they're best buds) and my husband (he let him play a video game - something Daylen's house does not have). However, it's taken some time, effort, and restraint on my part to have a good relationship with him. Often, when we have family get-togethers, the grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. all demand a hug and/or kiss, and my kids and my niece are all only too happy to oblige. Daylen does not want to do it.... EVER. I only hold my hand out and he gives me five. It works well, that one little gesture of not making him show affection for someone he doesn't actually know made him warm up to me. Now, I enjoy getting my enthusiastic high-5 rather than getting a resentful hug.

Once I was established as someone who didn't force him to like them, little quirks and inside jokes started happening, so that his mom watches me and my kids and her son and wonders why I can get him to do things like wash up before dinner without throwing a fit (we sing a silly song while sudsing up -- you're supposed to lather handsoap for at least 30 seconds for handwashing to be most effective, which is about the amount of time needed to sing the ABC song or another silly song). I'm also the aunt who brings the paper plates (I don't trust my kids with my mom's good dishes, so I bring plates with characters on them from the party supply section of Walmart with me, so we'll have spongebob or spiderman or black bats for Halloween or santa or snowmen for Christmas dinner). Little stupid stuff like that I guess made him realize that I wasn't going to beg for him to like me, but I could actually be liked. *shrug* I dunno, but it seems to have worked. We get along pretty well now.

My husband's sister, who feels the same about my kids as you seem to feel about your niece, moved to NYC over a year ago. In that time, they see pictures of Aunt Rae, they talk to her on the phone, she sends them cards for every holiday, and when we watched Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, they knew that Aunt Rae lived there and she was in the crowd (didn't see her, though). Ask that her parents help you keep in touch with her so that once you're able to establish a good relationship, you can keep it, by showing her pictures of you (we actually made them a little scrapbook of relatives and loved ones far away, so they recognize them when they see them... it worked!) and calling you and letting her talk (cell phones are awesome, because long distance is often not even a factor).

It's not an immediate fix, but that's the point. Give her time. She's in a stage, and she doesn't know you well anymore. Don't be pushy, and she could actually warm up to you more quickly.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Children are funny about who they trust and who they don’t. She may not have totally forgotten you but possibly lost trust in you because you left. It will take her a few visits for her to come around and the more you around the more likely she is to have a relationship with you. It is important in between visits to talk to her over the phone or via video through email or mailing. This way the next time you see her she will be expecting it and even looking forward to the fun loving Aunt. Make sure her parents talk about you to her and help get her excited about any upcoming visits. Just remember if you say you are coming you better show, Children don’t understand excuses not even emergency ones. You can’t get a child to adore you unless they want to so don’t try so hard just let her come to you! Maybe show up with a really good book that will grab her interest or a cool item and just sit back and see if she comes to you asking questions.

Answer 3

it quite is strictly what i've got experienced with my very very own niece and my son who's a twelve months. that's annoying because of the fact he does not understand even with the undeniable fact that that's totally a typical point of progression and, have faith it or no longer, your daughter will wade via it too. whilst my niece replaced right into a million I had a BBQ with some acquaintances and that that they had daughters who have been 2.5 and 3. I had my niece come over for the social interplay only to discover that those little females have been stingy little monsters! :o) ha ha. My niece replaced into so candy and quiet and that i felt so sorry for her because of the fact i presumed they have been so advise! If she tried to connect in and play with them by utilising grabbing a tea cup they could yank it from her palms and scream "NO! Mine!!!" and she or he could almost cry. i presumed they have been evil brats! :o) And even with their mom's telling them to proportion they does not. properly, now my niece is two.5 and my son is a million and she or he's an analogous maximum suitable thank you to him. She won't proportion and regardless of he desires to play with she desires to take from him. that's totally general. that's demanding, VERY demanding... yet completely general. A 2 twelve months previous is an extremely egocentric little individual. :o) they think of the international revolves around them and that they often do no longer prefer to proportion their issues.

Answer 4

Kids do this. I know I did as a kid. My brother married when I was little (about 6). They moved to Germany as his first military assignment. From what my Mom says, I hated his wife for taking him away and hated him for going.
So she is probably acting like this because of the move. Just keep being nice to her. Don't push yourself on her. Play in the floor with things you know she likes and hopefully she'll come play with you. Get her Mom to help you open up those lines of friendship again. She likes you, its just a reaction.

Answer 5

Give her space. She is in a mommy stage.
Try bringing some nice books and invite her to sit on your lap and read to her. Play on the floor and let her come to you.
She'll readjust. Kids are fickle.
Remember the most important thing, kids don't have to love you but you have to love them. She'll come around

Answer 6

This is a stage that most children go through. Get a couple of barbies and play with them near her until she notices. Name one after her and one after you. If she seems interested ask her if she wants to play. Once she gets to know you again everything will be fine.

Answer 7

dont take her away from her mom allow her to go to you. sit on the floor and start playing with something make it look like alot of fun, smile giggle laugh. she will come to you and have fun. good luck .

Answer 8

yea, I saw what you wrote to Heather B - you are mean and maybe the neice senses that.

Answer 9

Her not liking you is understandable; You're mean.

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