Should I tell him r not???

Question

Ok a lil history here. Me and this guy have known each other for about 9 yrs now. Always have been the best of friends. For the past 3 yrs we've been sleeping together off and on. It never was a relationship w/ us b/c we both knew we only wonted the sexual part of the relationship not all the other crap. Well now we've changed that role and were dating. Have been a lil while now. Things are great between us. We get along so well. Never have a dull moment when the 2 of us is together. I'm enlisting into the military here very soon. So I'll be leaving. He's cool with it and very proud of me actually. My thing is I'm in love with him. Have been for some time now. But never told him b/c never thought it was the right time r place to do so. Now I do wont to tell him. But I don't wont him to think I'm pushing him and r rushing him into something. But before I go off to boot camp I do wont to express how I'm feeling to him. I just dunno. So question is should I say those 3 big words to him?

Answer 1

Absolutely, let everything "out" and in the open! Go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If things don't go your way, at least you'll be leaving and getting on with your life and yes, it will crush you but you will be able to concentrate on your military involvement at that point. If things go good! then he'll be waiting for you when you come back home, just make sure your cell phone has lots and lots of time on it , because honey you'll be texting quite a bit! Good luck...would love to hear about the outcome...on the up and up!

Answer 2

Nope, military changes everything. There is a chance you two will still be close, so if you're adimant about this, wait it out and say it later. So many people do things like this before hand and get to Tech School or their first base and their childhood friend/present "lover" they think they're in love with isn't as interesting. If it's real, it's worth waiting for to make sure it will all come together. It's possible, but acting now just might add too much pressure.... and POP! You see what I mean? Stay positive though :-) But don't force it.

Answer 3

Its a big risk either way. After years in the military, I have just a little bit of advice for you:

If you are joining the National Guard or Reserves, what's the rush, you'll be back in a few months...

If you are going Active Duty, you'll be back after AIT, you get to take leave, and possibly recruiter assistance duty. So you will get another chance before you report to your first duty station.

Keeping that stuff in mind, you can tell him how you feel, and tell him when you'll be back (approx 3 months for basic and travel + however many weeks your AIT is). That gives him some time to think about it, and lets him know how long before he can see you again. A lot of people get Dear John/Dear Jane letters during basic and AIT because their love can't wait for them, or their loves think that you are not waiting for them. Just go into this with a lot of patience and understanding. Things will work out for the best. Good luck to you both.

Answer 4

Oh Please Do Tell Him, Don't waste another minute even thinking about it just tell him. Those 3 words are the greatest words spoken. If you 2 are really a pair , then he will be one happy man. I don't think it will sound like you are pushing him into anything, you are already involved. He knows you are leaving and even if he doesn't get the full thrust of your words, they will stay with him while you are gone.. Trust Me, Tell The Man That You Love, THAT YOU LOVE HIM... Great Question .. Good Luck .. and Thank You for joining the military, I am very proud of you.. Sounds to me like you are a very mature girl, with a good head on your shoulder's and a lot of love in your heart .. The best to you.. Merry Christmas ..

Answer 5

I think you need to solidify your relationship, and tell him that you love him(.) Do not rush it because of your new vocation. I have seen too many junior enlisted get them selves in trouble by spouting off things because they think they will never see them again or some nonsense. Honestly though, it sounds like you two are a bit insecure about stuff, especially after knowing each other longer than most people will ever know that have been married for years. If you love him, keep him, and fight for him. If he resists that, then at least you still have that friendship and your self dignity. Ignoring it in yourself is self-loathing and regretfull.

Answer 6

tell him you love him and the reason you want him to know is that you dont know what boot camp or even the next day will bring for you and him both. the fact is that if you love someone you should tell them as soon as you are sure i mean real love not love like '' oh we are soo in love after 3 weeks '' you have a long term thing here and you know him pretty good it sounds like you know your feelings. tell him or he may never know. not to be grim or any thing but your job will likely take you into harms way . tell him tell him

Answer 7

I really think you should. Don't wait till the last minute before you leave, I'm pretty sure you would like to know his answer. Have a nice quiet dinner both of you (there being your chance to tell him). I'm sure he feels the same way, and wouldn't it be nice to take that with you, to hold and think back to when your in camp. Good Luck!

Answer 8

YES.

I've always been a reluctant person and now I am in a lot of craps of regretting why haven't I so and so in the past. The feeling of doubts and regrets kill the crap out of me and believe me, you don't want to go there. Do it while you can. At least you are honest about it. Just tell him you just want to get it off your chest, but doesn't mean you are pressuring him.

I say, go for it.

Answer 9

If things are great between you two, why are you so afraid to say those "three big words" as you put it? Do you know how many relationships are ruined because of this? Speaking from your heart can never be a bad thing, be honest w/ yourself....and him.

Answer 10

Sometimes if you love something you have to set it free. If it comes back you know you have real love. If you are seriously going into the military don't tell him, he might have high hopes for his own life, and if you tell him he might make the wrong choice. If you truly love him you might consider not going into the military.