My nephew is 14 years old. He hasn't lived with his mom since September of this year. The problem is he is

Question

constantly lying and my sister can not handle it anymore. A little background - He was in foster care and my sister had him since he's been 16 month's old. She adopted him when he was six years old. He has integrity issues and was sent to live with me in September 2006. I have caught him in soooo many untruths that it's beginning to get to me. He lies about school work and anything else he feels that he could lie about. Yes, we all tell untruths from time to time but this is constant with this child. He's been punished and things have been taken away from him as well as some priviledges. I need solutions because I've just about had enough. There are more things that my family is going through with my nephew, but I don't have enough room to write them all down. He is really tearing my family apart. He's very bright and was put into a program at school for talented and gifted children but outed 4 behavior. I would appreciate serious replies. I thank all who answer in advance

Answer 1

Here are some facts to consider. Your nephew is not your biological nephew, nor is he your sisters biological child. This means that you are dealing with a different DNA than the rest of your family. This is why his behavior is different than the rest of your family. Many people today still do not realize that when one is dealing with a thing, then one is dealing with that things DNA and not really the thing itself because the thing itself is made up of DNA. And it is the DNA that makes the person and their behavior. Now this does not mean that if ones mother or father is a thief then the children will be thieves. This simply means that the saying, birds of a feather flock together, is true for the most part. I bet if you met the boys real mother or father and learnt their family trees, you will find someone just like, or close to the characteristics of your nephew. And possibly more characters in his real family tree than in yours.
On top of all of that, he has been through a lot in his short life. People lie because they are HIDING something. Either he is ashamed or hiding something that is hurting him. You need to find him someone that can win his trust so that your nephew can start to open up and express what it is that is haunting him.

Answer 2

Youhave to undo the poor foundation he had as a child. He probably has trust issues and maybe even lacks confidence to be good. Seek counseling for him and the family, don't let him go down the wrong path. he is still young and things can change for him

Answer 3

It sounds like his biological mom either drank or did drugs~ therefore, damaging the boys brain. Children born to drinkers and druggies are usually socio-paths through NO FAULT of their own. The PART of the brain that KNOWS consequences is to damaged to realize the effect the behavior has on their lives and the lives of those who try to help.
Your sister needs to look up his mothers history and apply for state aid in the "re`training" of this boy. Tell her to look up fetal alcohol syndrome and the horrible effects it has on children.

Answer 4

sit down with him, and explain to him that if he keeps lying that when something is the truth, that no one will believe him, get him into counsling, there is a problem and you have to put a stop. he could be doing it for attention. but i would ask him what he really wants from all of you. show him that he is part of your family, maybe he feel left out, and this is the only way he feels that he can get what he wants all of your attention. be patient with him, good luck.

Answer 5

send him off for a while to somewhere that he will need to think. let him stay there for a while. when it pops in his head he will know what to do . also fussing makes it worse and he just don't really care for objects. you need to do something like taking his freetime up and make him do things like chores. the point is he doesn't care. i went through the same thing i didnt care what happened to me i didnt do anything i just didnt care. i always got fussed at until one day i went off to think alone of what i wanted.i could go on my on or lose the family i have. My dad doesnt have anything to do with me at all he told me he hated me.so i took it serioulsly and in the end while i was alone for the week. i choose to go back to my mom because something made me miss her inside. i think whoever takes care of you is family. i wouldnt be here if i didnt have good friends. and make sure the people he hang out with dont do anything stupid like drugs or stuff because it could be another cause.i wish you the greatest luck with him have a blessed day.

Answer 6

send him to boot camp. i sent my daughter there and she never talks back or misbehaved anymore. at first i thought it would be bad but it really did help with her attitude and now she does her homework. we sent her to two at first. the first one they beat her badly so we put her in a more secure one. if you do decide to send him to a boot camp get info and research it carefully.
love bob

Answer 7

TALK W/HIM SEE WHAT'S GOING ON. I SUGGEST COUNSELING AND MAYBE TAKE HIM TO A MD. HE MIGHT HAVE ADD OR ADHD AND LYING TO COVER UP WHAT HE HAS DONE.