Chemistry or Security? Which guy should i pick?

Question

i had this crush on Stephen, my blockmate, during my 1st sem in college. he's sweet, kind, considerate, physically fit...but in terms of us communicating, well..
let's just say my mind wanders often. i often find it hard to adapt to him.

then there's Paul, the guy i'm currently with. also sweet, kind and considerate. but he's not handsome. and he's a bit on the bulky side. but with him, i never seem bored. we talk about anything.

here's the problem -- i've been with Paul for the past couple of months, but i still can't forget about Stephen. i mean, we're well into our 2nd sem and...well, i still catch myself staring at him.

i tried to forget about him and give Paul a chance, but well...i dunno...help?

Answer 1

The term 'chemistry' is nothing more than sexual attraction and/or infactuation. That DEFINITELY fades over time.
You need someone who you can communicate with and have common ground on major issues.

Answer 2

Well you are still young and Paul won't always be on the bulky side where as Stephen if he is boring now, how do you think a couple of years down the road is going to be? Stick with Paul because it sounds like he is going places. Stephen is just eye candy there is nothing wrong with staring, just be discrete.

Answer 3

Over the long haul, you need to be able to communicate and be able to get through hard times and who will be there for you. There is nothing lonelier than being with someone and feeling alone (not there for you physically, emotionally or spiritually). Looks and chemistry fade over time (usually 6 month to a year) and you have to deal with the person underneath. Ask yourself...how would you feel about Stephen if he gained 60-100 lbs and had a beer belly...would you still find him hot?

However, you are still young...it would be best to keep your options open to try to find a fella who you will have both chemistry and communication with.

Answer 4

Stop playing around woman! Just you asking this question has the answer already embedded in it. You need to leave Paul alone until you can realize what is most important to you. Your inability to choose just means you need to go and get that other guy outta your system but before I give you the go ahead let me riddle you this. In life there is always going to be someone better, sexier, smarter, funnier, or fill in the blank, but you have to decide that you are tired of the endless merry go round. You have to at some point pick one man and stick with him cause he makes you happy. The measure of a man is not his riches or physic but the content of his character. So if you must go experience what this other guy has to offer and leave Paul alone.

Answer 5

Paul has my vote. My reason is b/c you seem to enjoy yourself with him. When it's all said and done, you don't want someone w/ just looks b/c that will fade away. You will need to be with someone that you can have a decent conversation with. It's probably just a physical attraction to Stephen. I am not saying that looks aren't important but they are not the most important.

Answer 6

Chemistry.

Answer 7

I agree with one person's response. Neither are right for you. You need to find someone else. Chemistry and security are both important. If one is missing there is no balance and it won't make you happy.

Answer 8

Security. Chemistry develops over time.

Answer 9

Chose guy number 3, neither of the other two are right for you.

Answer 10

If you choose security, you will eventually feel completely trapped.