i hv been dating this guy for 5yrs..hez in a diff country now..the prob is hez juz too busy always..and when he is free and whn we chat..our conversations are so casual...he says i love you..but i somehow dont feel it..i think we are growing apart...he doesnt want to talk about it...if i talk anything about the relationship..he says im nagging and making his life a hell..
he told me right in my face that he is taking me for granted..i dont know if he really meant it..or he said that coz he is angry..?we are still hanging on to this relationship hoping thing will get better..i know he loves me..juz dont knw what to do...plz help
2006-12-19 00:53:21 · 6 answers · asked by sweetiepie123 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
things like this happen when you are in a long distance relationship, you get the feeling that you are not as close as you used to when you are in the same country.
i am in a long distance relationship, and sometimes i feel the same way as you do, i mean like, we don't get to talk that often, and when we do, its just very casual, like friends. sometimes i get paranoid, and i just ask him, "are we not as close, is everything ok?" and he will respond to me and tell me everything is fine, we are just as good as always. i mean 5 years is a long time, we are not expecting fire and sparks, but a little reassurance once in a while is ok.
just talk to him, or write to him, tell him how you feel and what you think, just say to him, i think we are ok, but i need some reassurance, so tell me, are we good? if he loves you and means it, he will reply to you and tells you things are fine, you are just worried about nothing. then you know things are fine and you two are ok.
but if he doesn't reply to you, then its time to start thinking seriously about the relationship, do you want to keep the relationship with him, if so, how would you do that? maybe you can arrange to visit him, so things are better when you see each other, or vice versa, have him visit you.
long distance relationships are hard, but you have been with him for 5 years, if you two don't love each other deeply, it wouldn't have lasted 5 years. so just let him know how you really think, it will work out somehow.
good luck girl
2006-12-19 01:06:31 · answer #1 · answered by devviash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know or are sure that he loves you if both of you cant communicate. Please dont get me wrong, i'm not judging here but you must try to see things clearly. If he can say that he is taking you for granted, whether jokingly or angryly and both of you cant talk about your relationship without getting into an argument, then i think something must be wrong somewhere. Try to see if you can get him to talk about your relationship, and try to keep your calm when talking. Speak your mind and the truth about your concerns and feelings and see if this changes things. If you still cant communicate without heated arguments or shouting matches, then i think you have to rethink your statement on your knowing he loves you, cos if someone loves you they'll respect you, your feelings, thoughts etc.
2006-12-19 01:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by girlfunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to ask him whether or not this relationship is over in a way that makes him believe you are under no illusions about how it really is,,he may be trying to spare your feelings and after 5 yrs who can blame him but it isnt doing you any good is it,,you may have to accept it is over too,,can the two of you possibly carry on with all that distance between you?relationships have to move forwards,,always forwards and yours seems to have taken huge steps back so just ask him,but be prepared to not like the answer and dont assume he wants it either,,it is just unfortunate your lives have taken separate courses.
2006-12-19 01:05:13 · answer #3 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my b/f used to say the same thing "all u do is nag" well in order to get somewhere i had to nag..tell him something is missing and ur trying to have a serious conversation with him..tell him u dont feel it when he says i love you tell him its not right to be treated this way after 5 years of devotion..tell him ur not nagging ur tryin to fix things and make it to where their both happy cuz right now ur not happy ur hurting and its not right when all ur trying to do is make yallz relationship better and find out if yall are really growing apart or if things are just out of whack...he probably doesnt want to talk about becuz hes in fear of yall falling apart..but its something that really needs to be talked about 5 years yall have been together....u to shud be able to have this conversation..good luck and i hope everything works out..
2006-12-19 01:00:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are hanging on to this relationship out of comfort. Make the wise decisions and find someone who is more readily available
2006-12-19 00:57:09 · answer #5 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hope u both get hurt and it doesnt work :)
2006-12-19 00:56:35 · answer #6 · answered by mr_fury666 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋