Getting back with an ex is it a no no?

Question

Me and my ex girlfriend were together for over 5 years, 4 1/2 of them were perfect and I loved her to bits until she ended up cheating on me and breaking my heart. As soon as I found out she ended it and wanted us to try again but back then the trust we had was gone and I ended up ending it a couple months after

That was over 2 years ago and although I have moved on and the pain of what she did and losing her has gone, ive never really gotten over her and still thought about her almost every day those past 2 years.
Also girlfriends I have had since I have never really felt the same about.

A few days ago I met the ex in a nightclub and she started to cry and say how sorry she was for what she had done and it was only because she was so young and immature,she also said that not one day has gone by that she hasnt thought about me and that no one has even come close to me since.

is it worth getting hurt again hurt again for something that might not work out?

Answer 1

Well.....give it a try ...but recognize that you are somewhat different people now...older and hopefully more mature...it won't be the same but it could be better then before...take it slow and see what happens....good luck

Answer 2

My opinion. Run like the wind. Keep the good and bad memories close to your heart and move on. You might not have allowed yourself to get close to those other girls that you have dated because of your ex-ex girlfriends big mistake. You can walk away from this with your head held high. Be proud. She says she still loves you? Love doesn't make you stray. She was in a club, was she drinking when she started crying? It's not so hard to find someone like yourself that is faithful. Four and a half years in a relationship is long, no excuses. You were young too right? It will NEVER be the same. You deserve better so go out and find that person you deserve and that deserves you. You can't change the past, but you can change your future. Dont live in the past........ you will regret it! Change is hard, but taking her back would be saying that what she did is ok. You are not married, and thank God for that. Good Luck :-)

Answer 3

Give it another try. You are obviously still very much into each other and she must feel terrible for what she did to cry like that 2 years on. The phrase "Too much too young" springs to mind maybe? If you don't give things another try, you could possibly spend the rest of your lives regretting it. Take things slowly at first, get to know each other again. It might not work out, the pan might be too much. But it could quite as easily work out brilliantly. Maybe that time apart from each other was what you needed to realise how much you meant to each other. I really do speak from experience here. Me and my boyfriend were together for about 2 years, we were inseparable, each others first love. Then things went down hill. I cheated on him stupidly on a drunken night out. We stayed together but the arguments started from there. I went off to uni and after a rocky and confusing few months we decided to stop contact with each other. For a year we didn't speak or text but every day I thought about him in some way. Other boyfriends didn't even compare. He was the same. About two years later we got back together and we've never looked back. We've been together nearly 7 years now and we bought our first house a year ago. Don't waste any more time. Good luck x

Answer 4

YES, absolutely it is worth it. We are all only human. Everybody makes mistakes and particularly when we are young and have a lot to learn (as she probably did).

Sometimes too, we can do things weven when are with someone we love and realise only too late, "what on earth did I do?". I'm sure she could kick herself over what she did! and no doubt she has done enough self accusing already.

Sometimes people don't realise what they have until they lose it and forgiveness is the key here. If you are a Christian person at all, you will know how unfaithful we often are towards God, yet we ask his forgiveness, then we need to do the same and forgive others.

It does not mean lying down like a doormat and saying "here I am again, walk over me". But what you are doing is a very big thing and to give eachother another chance. Sometimes as bad as these things are at the time, they can serve to teach some very good but harsh lessons. Not everybody gets a second chance and both of you deserve one with eachother.

Answer 5

You have thought of her every single dy for the past 2 years. Perhaps there is still something. A flame.
Could this flame be Love, Guilt or Sorrow?
You need to identify this.
And can u look at her after she has cheated you, in the same way as you did before? Are you sure she would not do it again, even though she cried? Will you still look at her with the same loving feelings?
Consider the above 2.

If i'ts LOVE and you CAN look at her like the first time you set your eyes on her... go ahead... nothing can seperate you two.
If you have a doubt... it's definitely a NO NO

Answer 6

Believe me when I say, if you love a person the love you have overpowers the pain they bring. You can only know if you try! Just know that she did cheat once, and I don't like to say once a cheater always a cheater, but be aware of the consequences when stepping into this ring again. 5 years is a long time and you owe it to yourself to see if it'll work again. Accept her apology, forgive her past and look toward the future! Good Luck

Answer 7

been there, done that. hey it aint worth getting back together, there will never be any trust again. im in a relationship where ma man cheated and im trying to forgive him but its been nearly 9 months ago and i still hate him so much for it. we are ok sometimes but when it comes to him going out etc... its a nightmare, it aint worth it. sure it hurts but youve got over the initial hurting period dont go back and have to do it all over again.

Answer 8

It seems like she regrets what she did just as much as you regret the relationship ending. Maybe you guys should give it one last try to see if you can rekindle what you had. You guys obviously haven't gotten over each other. Maybe since you two have grown a little wiser you'll have a better shot this time.

Answer 9

it may be your chance at love, you may need to do this to find out once and for all whether you do still feel the same way about her and love her and the main thing, can you trust her. without trust you can not have love.

meet up and dont drink. have a chat, see if the spark is still there and ask yourself do i trust you? if the answer is no then you will never be truly happy... take things slow and dont rush in...

if you dont take the chance you will alway wonder what if?

dont be left wondering.... go slow and tread carefully...

good luck and happy christmas!

Answer 10

jeez, do what your heart tell you, do not live with regrets and do not regret your future choices.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so
vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it
means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up
all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that
nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any
other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
Go with your feelings and good luck x

Answer 11

i thought you should give it a try ... as so many years has gone by and u havent found anything yet and she is stuck on ur mind .
u know , i think that better try and see how it works as having it in ur mind for maybe forever . if it does not work out well , at least u wont have the question "what if " on ur mind !
good luck !!!