how should i react he is not my bf but we had a deal?

Question

after caught him with another girl holding each other's hands, (he had asked me not to date any other guy except for him which honestly follow/obey) i didnt talk to him just told him "thanks i know now". until last friday we meet again but just greeted him to be civil coz he was with his friends. he gave me a beer through the waitress. we didnt talk still. sunday morning he sent me a text greeting me a good morning and saying that he knows that i dont want to talk to him but he has to tell me that he is missing our texts and chats. he said that i looked incredible on friday evening and take care of myself. im feeling confused now. i like to talk to him and tell whats inside of me. but he didnt ask me why i dont want to talk to him? im feeling afraid to talk to him coz maybe i will be hurted more. why did he text me? does it mean he wants to have a talk? how should i react, he is not my boyfriend?

Answer 1

For someone who is not your boyfriend you've invested way too much emotional energy in him. All it's done for you is cause you a lot of turmoil and drama. The part about not dating anyone else except him is a total unfair waste of time. Like you said, he isn't your boyfriend so he has no right asking you to be exclusively devoted to him. What ever you were expecting from him doesn't seem to be working for you. On the other hand he's got himself a nice little dish on the side (you) that he can take or leave at his own convenience. He can call you and ask for your time and you're supposed to be grateful when he throws you a scrap of attention. So he sent you a beer via the waitress. How crude. Like the master tossing a scrap to his dog. He's got all the comfort of having you tied up to him without the bother of committing to a serious relationship. All about him, nothing for you. Some "deal"! Shame on you for going along with it. You're too trusting. Could have seen who would get the better end of it.
How do you react? You're already confused. How about moving on to hurt angry disgusted foolish? You have something you would like to say to him? Don't hold it festering inside of you any longer.You don't need to wait for him to ask you. Just come right out and tell him. DEALS OFF! Speak your mind and regain your self respect and dignity. Maybe you can learn something from this. Imagine if this was a serious relationship. How hurt would you be then? Never sell yourself short. Not under any circumstance, for any reason or for any person.

Answer 2

It's a power thing, I think he knows how u feel about him but he's playing dumb. Talk 2 him tell him how u feel about him and how u felt about him asking u not 2 see anyone else only 2 find out that he was seeing other people. Don't let him or anyone else get u down, 'cause when u do that, it makes it harder 4 u 2 move on. Good luck, Mwah

Answer 3

Well deals are nt a part of the relationships ok.
Nw wt i wud suggest u to do is to just think with a cool mind abt the kinda future u're gonna have with im, see holding another gal's hand is nt sucha big deal OK.
The point is that hw much the 2 of you trust eachother cz relationships do go further only due to trust among persons.
So wt i wud like to say is that just take your time, give him his time, n i m sure the two of u will sort it out easily, n u need nt think too much abt this stuff.
OK
Bye

Answer 4

if i understand this correctly , i certainly hope the deal works both ways not only one way right?

You just told him thks i know now, do you know most of guys when come to girls felling they just a moron right? he might not understand at all what you said, or even worst he just simply forgot the deal, see a lot of time we say things that we not suppose to say but it just came out : )

i don't know this guy but you , do you think he just want to keep tap on you, because i know guys do that , they saying things you want to hear so they can keep tap on you on "rainy day" : )

anyway right now you are in to deep , you have to stop talk to him until you can control yourself well enough in front of him, you need to create the distance. i know you'll miss him and the talk or even all the flatter from him.
You can't handle this now unless you want to create Hollywood drama sadness in your life.
If he ask just tell him you need space for now, and if he a good friend he'll try to talk to you and understand , but remember when that happen don't let the words "i fall for you or i like u" come out.

okay hang tough

Answer 5

If he wants to date you but doesn't want exclusivity, you should have assumed that he was interested in dating other people as well. His asking you to not date is unfair, but it was your choice to "obey."

He likely texted you because he DOES feel something for you, and felt bad about hurting you.

If you can deal with dating him non-exclusively, then talk to him. If you don't want that emotional strain (because it seems that you feel more deeply than him) then let him go.

Answer 6

well first of all i think its was wrong of him to tell you not to date others but he was messing around on you, hes sounds like a player, but if you like talking to him then why cant you just be friends and enjoy life together..just let him know that you just want to be friends and if you do get into a serious relationship then you wont date other people but until then you both can see who you want

Answer 7

oh hon this is a classic case of someone wanting to have his cake and eat it too.....basically this guy wants to play the field and have you in the sidelines as a "just in case".....the fact that he asked you not to date anyone but him but you saw him with another female let's you know this......no one deserves to be put on the back burner from anyone's ego......you deserve so much more than that and something way better than that.......my advice hon is move on....let him know that you are no longer keeping the bargain because he is not keeping up his end....let him know that you are not the type to be put in second place....that you deserve first place......you are a "Queen" and should be treated as such.....let him know that you have feelings and needs that have to be met and if he can't do that then to h*** with him.......if you move on and show him that what he does has no effect on you, he will think a bit different about his actions......because for him right now in his mind he is thinking "yea i got her, she ain't going anywhere".....but if you show him different then trust me he will sing a different tune....but as long as you put your life and happiness on hold he's not gonna do right by you.....

Answer 8

so whats the deal? you two date but are not exclusive? except he wants you to be exclusive? you need to be more clear what the deal is. he's not your boyfriend, but you obey him? so what did you say you wanted on your end of the deal? did you say anything? did you tell him you didn't want him to date anyone? sounds like you didn't, but you could of, cause you didnt' mention anything on that. is the deal you two are casual but not bf/gf? not emotionally tied, but sexually? if you can get it straight what you are together and thats what you want then go for it. if you are wanting more from him and are waiting for him to give you what you want then get outta there. you dont' want what he is offering. sounds like he's totally playing you.

Answer 9

it wouldn't hurt to talk over the phone to get some unresolved things said, but don't get back with him or believe his dramatic lies he will be giving you on the phone. remember guys are dogs and will always hurt you if you allow yourself to be their doormat. he obviously didn't want to be with you, cuz he was seeing this other girl. he didn't want you seeing anyone else because he couldn't stand the thought of you being with another guy and he wanted you right there waiting on him. this is how guys are now-a-days!

Answer 10

i no how u feel coz ive had that happen to me b4 and im like single now coz i had enough of all tha hating that i have recieved anyways if u get this reply ok