I recently found out im pregnant and love my boyfriend and he loves me. Ive met his mum onced and feel that his mother has alot to do with his feelings and things he says to me. I know his mum doesnt like me and he wants me to go to his, what do i do? Do i forget that i know and go c her? Or do i be a ***** and no go c her at all? Help. Thanx
2006-12-18 21:34:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
might as well learn to get along, got a lot of years to do it!
2006-12-18 21:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say why she doesn't like you. Is there a reason? If so, perhaps you could deal with that and it might be easier.
You marry the man, you have his baby, and the in-laws have to put up with it. If they want to have contact with their son and their grandchildren. Some will fight it, but others will just accept it over time. You're not a doormat. Go, be polite, be firm. You're there for good and the sooner they know it, the better.
However, the thing that worries me in yor question is the bit that says his mother has a lot to dow ith his feelings and things he says to you. What does that mean?
That's your real problem. You'll need to sort that one out. The mother-in-law can easily be dealt with by keeping a cool distance. You'll never be friends, but that's ok. But it's different when you have to live with the son ...
2006-12-18 21:47:51 · answer #2 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your boyfriend's mom is not your in-law. You aren't even married to him. Get that through your head. If you are not mature enough to face his mom, then you should get an abortion and go sulk in a corner.
Second, if you love him and he loves you, why aren't you guys married? Why did you get pregnant when you're not even married? This is wrong for you both, your parents, his parents, and your unborn kid, who will be a bastard child. It's wrong for everyone.
Next, do you think you're the only one who has trouble with your partner's parents?!?!?! Buck up. You're going to have to take it sooner or later. You should learn to live with being hated by your boyfriend's mom. Trust me, you aren't the only one going through this. If you can't take it, have an abortion and leave him.
You are way in over your head at this point. Sort out your life and make sure you're making the right decisions for the future of your kid and the relationship. You don't seem like you're ready for any of this though. You need to grow up and start being an adult first.
2006-12-18 21:52:11 · answer #3 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your honey is her only son you could be mother Teresa and you still wouldn't be good enough. If he doesn't already know you should tell him that your pregnant, and make sure that you are there when she receives the news. One of 2 things will happen she will be so happy that her attitude towards you changes or she's going to flip her lid... In which case your honey has to sink or swim when it comes to mother, if he really loves you and respects you he would tell his mother that he would like her to get to know what a good person you are and how much he love you. She's going to have to realize that the baby you carry will connect you with her for ever, and any ill feelings she has will have to die for the sake of her son and grandchild.
2006-12-18 21:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent no-one is ever good enough for your child...so I wouldn't even take things like that personally - it is a universal phenomenon that most people go through....
Don't think that you are exempt as you will behave in exactly the same if you become a mother....so just work with it not against it as you cannot change her - she will not be in your life 24/7 so make that sacrifice for a few hours or so...
2006-12-18 21:53:50 · answer #5 · answered by Brown_Sugar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some Mums don't know they give that impression to their daughter-in-laws' I know, because i do it to mine.
there is no bad feelings only 'overly protective mum's style' toward her son, thats' all.
Just love your boyfriend and your baby even more, and sometimes take a back seat when mum is around.
Let her look after all of you because thats all she wants to do, to feel needed.
2006-12-18 22:05:44 · answer #6 · answered by saynhope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go c her! Might as well, does she know ur expecting? Afterall u r now connected to her no matter what happens, thats if she is happy about being a grandma!
2006-12-18 21:54:44 · answer #7 · answered by Laura B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have similar problems in that my wife does not like my mother. i causes real issues all the time. if i were you and speaking from experiance i would go and make the peace, it will be easier in the long term
2006-12-18 21:42:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does anyone like their inlaws. Screw her. I would go and punch her in the throat, then take her wallet. Its a win win situation. She knows not to mess with you and you have all the money in her wallet.
2006-12-18 21:37:30 · answer #9 · answered by Helenp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, and want your relationship to work, you have to find a way to get along with her. But you don't have to like her.
2006-12-18 21:37:50 · answer #10 · answered by bettan74 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋