Ok so I am going to the inlaws for christmas only for 3 days mind, and am dreading it, my husbands family dont really get along with me to say the least! and i dont know what to do! i can see the sarcastic comments already and am dreading it! i want to know what would be the best way to handle it (apart from obvious of not going) as i dont want to let my husband down but i really dont want to feel like an idiot there for the 3 days over christmas... and they all know full well what they are doing! HELP i need ideas on how to keep my cool and to stop any akward feelings!
2006-12-18 21:12:49 · 22 answers · asked by princesssp8 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like a fun family to spend the yuletide with!!
firstly DONT rise to the bait - thats what they want you to do
just be really well mannered even if it means smiling through gritted teeth.
remember you are so much better than then!!!
give gifts that may not cost a lot but a wrapped to perfection!
Ensure you thank the hosts for such a wonderful time - maybe even send flowers after the visit by way of a thank you OR leave a thank you note in your room - you will feel so good about yourself THEY onm the otherhand may feel a little bad about their juvnile behaviour, however if they are that bad I doubt it!!
Your do not state why you do not get along but I think by ducking out of going you will give them the ammunition to tell your husband that YOU are the one causing the problem - so go with good grace, act the perfect guest and if they behave true to form your Husband will see just what a nasty lot they are to you AND then you may find yourselves somewhere else next Christmas!
in my opinion Christmas should be spent with those you love and like ..and thats not allways family!!! Good luck and Happy Christmas wherever you may stay!!
2006-12-18 21:38:51 · answer #1 · answered by random 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try and put up with it for the 3 days for the sake of your husband. If they make sarcastic comments, ignore them. They will be a bit miffed if they do not get a reaction from you and will not know what to do next.
Tell your husband that you dont want to stay with them next year and explain why. Tell him that you will take turn about having christmas with your families and that you dont want to go to his family every year as they spoil your christmas. Hopefully he will have a word with them and you can all at least be civil to each other.
Good luck.
2006-12-18 22:24:09 · answer #2 · answered by Catwhiskers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband how you truly feel. If your husband needs you around him whilst there and allows you to go through all the c.r.a.p then there's something wrong with his brain, or maybe he hopes you will say something. Your feelings should come before the feelings of his family. If you dread going so much, tell him to go on his own to ensure everyone is happy.
If you do go, I think you need to say something back to them when any snidey remarks are made. Shame you didn't give us an idea, we could have helped out with some answers.
2006-12-19 01:03:16 · answer #3 · answered by Curious39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Laugh out really loudly when the make a sarcastic comment. Do it everytime they make a comment. The won't know how to take it. And for every sarcastic comment they make, try to repeat it in the next sentance back to them. It will annoy them extremely without you being rude. And also, it will help pass the time! Good luck, I have had years of sh*tty inlaws, but they don't bother me anymore!
2006-12-18 21:21:35 · answer #4 · answered by beanie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel and see if you can come up with some sort of answer or compromise.
My husband's family did not like me and my family does not like him.
The first holiday we spent with his family his mother and sisters ganged up on me while he was out and I left the house rather than fight. When my husband found out he told his mother that I was his family now and if they weren't polite to me they would never see him again. He didn't ask them to like me, just be polite to me.
My family couldn't handle the "be polite" part of the deal, so we've never been with them at any holiday (even when we lived in the same town as them).
We've been married 22 years and we live 1500 miles away from our families and we are very happy.
2006-12-18 23:11:00 · answer #5 · answered by Shannon S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could drop a bombshell- like your pregnant... that would soon shut them up i did that- but i actually was, still they wont know that. Best way is just to concern yourself with the ones that care, your husband. In laws are funny things- just be overly polite mind your P's and Q's and for gods sake DO NOT get drunk and say something you wont regret!!! x
2006-12-18 21:25:32 · answer #6 · answered by sugar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keeping your cool as you say is utmost important. Parents at times don't think anyone is good enough for their child, so they can say rude things. Other times its power or lack of power that makes people say sarcastic words to another. Like the majority have said, talk with your husband, and have him stand up for you, as it is not necessarily your battle but his. He needs to impress upon them, that he loves and respects you, and will risk his relationship with his parents and not tolerate them disrespecting you. Meaning stand up and demand that they respect you. Bear in mind, demand is not an aggressive word, but rather a solid stance.
2006-12-18 22:07:00 · answer #7 · answered by Maryjane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just act as though it doesn't bother you. Maybe throw a few comments back in the other direction too. Really act as though your having a good time and you never know you might end up enjoying yourself. Just remember not to let their comments get to you and give them a taste of their own medicine!
2006-12-18 21:17:14 · answer #8 · answered by yahoooooooooo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need a serious talk with your husband, he needs to support you in this a mention the problem to his family. If He refuses to look address the problem then he is letting you down and you would then be fully justified in not going at all. You and not his family should be his main priority now, simple as that.
2006-12-18 21:29:17 · answer #9 · answered by pete m 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dnt let them think they are bothering you, be prepared for the inlaws, be snide n smarmy with them, i would. I would be nice as possible when need be because the wont like it! Laugh it off! When somethings said smirk at them. Good luck
2006-12-18 21:24:24 · answer #10 · answered by Laura B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋