Is it fair to choose a religion for a baby?

Question

How can people baptise children. They have no grasp or religion yet and you are forcing it upon them, even if just subconciously. I was baptised in a catholic church but after much research am now atheist. I feel like I wasnt given a real choice untill my 20s when I realised I have free thought and a rational way of thinking.

Answer 1

I feel for you. I, too, was baptized Catholic when I was just a baby, only to leave the church for something better later on.

For a long time I considered it the only thing I would never be able to forgive my parents for. However, after further research and contemplation, I came to the understanding that it does not seal you to the church. Baptism in the Catholic view (and most other Christian denominations if I'm not mistaken) is not so much a "you're one of us now" kind of thing as it is a "you are cleansed of your sins" kind of thing. True, baptisms are done by many churches as part of their "initiations" if you will, but the intention of a baptism is not to bind you to any kind of religious contract, much less an unbreakable one. They are meant only for the purpose of washing away your sins. The Catholic Church specifically does infant baptisms because they believe that people are born with original sin, a concept few other denominations recognize.

So relax. I do feel that religion should be a choice given to a child when they are older and better able to think for themselves, and because of that I do not feel that children should be at all involved in any kind of religious rituals whatsoever. However, you can't do anything to change the fact that you were already baptized, so just don't worry about it. You won't melt! ;-)

Answer 2

I like you was also baptized in the Catholic church as an infant. The Catholics believe that a baby should be in case the child were to pass on it will still go on to Heaven. However, all babies baptized or not do pass onto eternal life in Heaven. I broke away from the Catholic Church in my early teens as I was forming my own thoughts about religion and Catholicism especially...I did not agree with the teachings of the Church. I am now a member of a Methodist Church and am happy. We have not had our own children baptized for the same reasons you mentioned. While we do take them to Church with us ( they are 3 and 5 ) their time is spent in Sunday school and yes there are Christian teachings taking place along with fun and playing. We want them to have a Church home, but we will never force our beliefs on them. When they are old enough to understand the waysof religion, they will be allowed to make their own decisions and follow their own paths....after all religion, to practice it or not is a very personal choice and not something that should be decided for you. Whatever choices they make we will stand by them. I also want to add just because a person may not believe, or attend a Church doesn't mean they are committing any sin. As an atheist, I do not believe you should be looked upon any differently for your choices....many people can walk a path of good and do no harm to others without ever having to step into a Church.

I also wanted to add in particular about the Catholic Church since you brought it up. Another reason I decided to convert completely was because when I got married we spoke to the Catholic Church, although I was no longer a practicing Catholic. It was mainly to make family happy. However, since my husband to be at the time was a Methodist they would only marry us if we signed to agree to baptize and raise any children we might have in the Catholic Church. We ended up marrying in the Methodist Church needless to say.
Great question!!

Answer 3

Well I can tell you that I was never baptized into any faith. I had to figure it out on my own. Although now that I'm going Catholic, I will raise my children the same. If for some reason, like you said, when free thought and rational become apparent to them, they too will have the right to convert if that is what they so choose to do. But at least I've give my children a fair shot at believing in something other then themselves. That there is more to life then what they see. You as an adult have made your decision to convert, and you alone have to live with it.
God bless

Answer 4

Because right or wrong, it's the Parents decision and no one else's with regards to the child's religion. You were given a choice because you did choose to be an atheist when you got older, and surely you suffered no ill affects while being a Catholic, as this isn't normally a hazard to your health or well being. Your parents did what they though was right, because they loved you and felt that was the way to protect your immortal soul. By the way, I don't follow any religion, but I do believe in God, and see some aspects of a Religious upbringing as positive, especially the sense of community and co-operation among their fellow Catholics. This has of course gone astray in some areas and mistakes have been made, but I believe that by an large, this can be a good thing for a child. Why not try to see the positive aspects in this, and don't dwell on the fact that you were baptized and weren't given a choice as it will get you no where in life.

Answer 5

My spouse and I were having a problem with this a few months ago. I don't have a religion and he's Catholic (which has never been a problem, because he doesn't really go to church or anything and doesn't push his religion on me.) He asked me when we were going to have the baby baptized (who is due to be born in 2 days!), and I said I didn't want to have him baptized...it got into this big mess, but we worked it out.

I think the child should have the right to choose if he/she wants a religion or not, and if so what religion they want to follow. My parents gave me that choice, and I wish to let my child do the same.

Answer 6

No you are right it is not only unfair IT is also inappropriate, because baptism is really a commitment to God to do his will, and a baby cannot possibly do this, without having a clue about God or his will and requirements, I too was baptised as a baby into the Catholic religion, and after research I left that faith because I realised that it was not true teachings that it was teaching!

Answer 7

No. I mean, if it makes the parents feel better, I don't see how it could hurt. Just some water on the baby's head. And as you obviously know, you can convert when you get older. But I believe people should try to raise their kids as free from religion as possible, so they don't have biased opinions when they grow up and want to choose their own religion.

Answer 8

Christians themselves debate this very point. Some denominations do not believe in baptism during infancy. However, I find your claim that you didn't have a choice until your 20's a little hard to believe.

Answer 9

Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported:
Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: An infant is born according to his (true) nature. It is his parents who make him a Jew, a Christian or a Magian just as a she-camel gives birth to its young ones. Do you find any deficiency in their limbs?
Hadith number in Sahih Muslim [Arabic only]: 4803

peace

Answer 10

First of all, a baby is a wonderful gift from God. People who don't see it this way are the ones who don't have a problem with abortion. It is perfectly fitting for the parents to show gratitude to God by the parents Baptizing their children and doing their best to teach their children about God.

Infants are Baptized in the New Covenant for the same reason that infants were circumcised by parents in the Old Covenant. Baptism takes the place of circumcision, except that in Baptism there is neither male nor female.

It's the job of a parent to teach their children about everything they know. So why wouldn't a parent teach their child what they know about God when whether or not their child will end up in Heaven or Hell will depend on them knowing God?

If your parents did all that they could to teach you about God, they probably won't be judged by God for your free choice to reject God. But, you will be judged by God for that if you never repent.

In the same way, if your children end up in Hell because you deliberately deprived them of knowing God, then you, as their parent, would be held accountable by God because of it.

These two verses from the Bible say why it is the absolute duty of all parents to do all that they can to teach their children about Jesus.

14: but Jesus said, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."
- Matthew, chapter 19

6: but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.
- Matthew, chapter 18

I was raised by my mother who did not teach me about Jesus, but despite that and by the grace of God, I was led by the Holy Spirit to know God through His Church which He established 2,000 years ago. That Church is the Catholic Church.